Blending a family is both rewarding and challenging, requiring intentionality, patience, and a strong foundation. In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Lauren and Jason dive into the key strategies for creating a thriving blended family.

They discuss the importance of building trust with stepchildren, emphasizing that the biological parent should take the lead in discipline while the stepparent focuses on connection. They explore how to find your lane—leaning into natural strengths to foster strong relationships with the kids.

Common challenges in blended families are also addressed, including different parenting styles, loyalty conflicts, and emotional wounds from past relationships. Lauren and Jay break down how to navigate discipline and authority, ensuring unity between spouses without creating resentment.

The conversation highlights the importance of setting realistic expectations, recognizing that blending takes time and requires a united front. They stress that prioritizing the marriage is essential—not only for the couple but for the entire family dynamic. When the marriage is strong, children feel secure and receive the stability they need.

Finally, they tackle the complexities of co-parenting with ex-spouses, offering wisdom on handling interactions with grace and firm boundaries.

Whether you’re newly blending a family or years into the journey, this episode provides practical tools to build trust, navigate challenges, and create a home where everyone can thrive. Tune in for an insightful and encouraging discussion!

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For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

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Description:
We’re back with Part 2 of one of our most vulnerable episodes yet—because some questions in marriage are too important to ignore. Last week, we unpacked some of the biggest fears that keep couples stuck, and today, we’re digging even deeper.

We’re talking about:
💬 Why does sex feel like an obligation instead of a connection?
👩‍👧 Why do I feel like the default parent while my spouse gets to "opt in" to parenting? (Spoiler: This isn’t just a struggle for women!)
💔 What if my marriage isn’t what I thought it would be, and it never will be?
😞 What if I’m the only one trying to fix our marriage?

Avoiding these questions won’t make them go away, but facing them can bring healing and clarity.

💡 Next Steps:
Healing doesn’t happen in a single conversation. That’s why we created Restore & Renew, a 6-week marriage intensive designed to help couples break free from disconnection and rebuild a joyful, resilient relationship.

👉 Click here to sign up and take the first step.

🎧 Listen now and start the conversation that could change everything.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Description:
Some questions feel too big, too scary, or too painful to ask out loud—especially in marriage. But avoiding them doesn’t make them disappear. In this episode, the Vallotton's tackle the hardest, unspoken questions that can haunt relationships.

Jason and Lauren dive into topics like:
✅ Have we fallen out of love or are we just stuck in a rut?
✅ What if I’m not attracted to my partner anymore?
✅ Is it normal to feel lonely in my marriage?
✅ Can we ever repair the damage from past betrayals?

If you've ever felt afraid to voice your deepest relationship doubts, you’re not alone. These conversations could lead to real healing and change.

💡 Next Steps: True transformation takes intentional action. If you're ready to reconnect, heal, and build a resilient marriage, join our Restore & Renew 6-Week Intensive—a guided journey to help you and your partner rediscover joy and connection.

👉 Click here to sign up!

🎧 Listen now, then come back here week for Part 2!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Lauren and Jason dive into one of the most profound questions parents face: What story do we want our kids to tell about love? Together, they unpack the meaning of true love, exploring how it can be demonstrated in everyday life and in relationships within the home.

Topics Covered
What is love and what is it not?

• We have love because it was given to us. It doesn’t start with us, it starts with God.
• Love is a powerful choice. 
• Love is patient, kind, etc. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

What does authentic love look like in relationships and in marriage?

• Real love requires a strong sense of self… we enjoy true love when we come fully ourselves into a relationship.
• It’s not the absence of conflict.
• Love looks like boundaries.
• Love looks like having the hard conversations, not abandoning yourself.

Love requires us to sacrifice and grow in areas that are costing the people we care for the most. Love says I lay things down that cause harm to those I care for the most.

Why This Matters
Our children’s perception of love starts with us. Through our words, actions, and how we treat those closest to us, we’re crafting a narrative that can either help or hinder their relationships in the future. Let’s make it a story worth telling!

Takeaway Thought
The story of love we live today becomes the legacy our children carry into tomorrow.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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www.braveco.org

In today’s episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, hosts Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with renowned psychoanalyst and author Erica Komisar to explore the profound challenges and rewards of parenting. Erica, a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), brings years of expertise in child development and the psychological aspects of motherhood and fatherhood. She has authored two insightful books:

• Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters
• Chicken Little: The Sky Isn’t Falling

In this conversation, Erica highlights the crucial role emotional attachment plays in a child's development, particularly during the first three years. She discusses the importance of both mothers and fathers being present and emotionally available, as well as how societal pressures and guilt impact the way mothers show up for their families.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• The key ingredients for building a healthy attachment with your child, particularly in the first three years.
• Insights from Erica’s book Being There on the lasting impact of maternal presence during a child's formative years.
• Why father involvement is just as crucial as mothers in raising emotionally resilient children.
• How to address societal pressures, guilt, and the overwhelming demands placed on mothers today.
• The importance of staying engaged with your children throughout adolescence, even when they seem to need you less.

About Erica Komisar:
Erica Komisar is a licensed clinical social worker and psychoanalyst with extensive experience working in child development and parenting. She has authored two influential books, Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters and Chicken Little: The Sky Isn’t Falling. Her work emphasizes the emotional and psychological needs of children, focusing on the vital role parents play in shaping their children's emotional well-being. Erica's expertise has made her a sought-after speaker and resource for parents looking to navigate the challenges of raising children in today’s world.

Where to Find Erica Komisar:

She’s on Instagram. @ericakomisar
To learn more about Erica's work and upcoming events, visit her official website.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

What if the greatest battle you’re fighting isn’t with your spouse, your kids, or the world—but with yourself? On this episode, the Vallottons dive into the messiest parts of who we are—the stuff we shove aside but desperately need to face if we want to grow in life, faith, and relationships.

Jason and Lauren explore the significance of identifying your inner conflicts, the impact of your past experiences, and the role of seeking support in overcoming these hidden struggles. 

• Discussing personal experiences of battling inner conflicts 
• Understanding the significance of self-criticism and shame 
• Exploring the concept of the trauma tree and its visualizations 
• Identifying signs of an inner battle and unhealthy habits 
• The necessity of reaching out for help and building self-awareness 
• Sharing strategies for addressing and conquering internal struggles 

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this milestone 100th episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with Jason's parents, Kris and Kathy Vallotton, for a heartfelt conversation about the enduring meaning of Christmas. Known for their leadership and faith, Kris and Kathy reflect on the miraculous story of Christ’s birth and its profound blend of humanity and divinity. Together, they share insights on how to hold onto the true essence of Christmas amid the distractions of commercialization, encouraging listeners to reconnect with its true spiritual significance.

Kris and Kathy also share a touching personal story about navigating financial hardships with creativity and faith. Recalling a time when scarcity gave way to an unexpected adventure, they draw parallels to the humble circumstances of Christ's birth. The conversation highlights how love and togetherness can transform challenges into cherished memories, offering a powerful reminder of the importance of family and faith.

The episode takes a deeper turn as the Vallottons explore the supernatural aspects of the Christmas story and their relevance in everyday life. Reflecting on moments of divine provision, they illustrate how God's presence often surprises us in the ordinary and imperfect moments. Through these reflections, Kris, Kathy, Jason, and Lauren invite listeners to see the beauty in life’s messiness and embrace the redemptive power of the Christmas story in their own lives.

Join Jason and Lauren Vallotton for this uplifting conversation with Kris and Kathy Vallotton, as they celebrate faith, family, and the transformative hope of the Christmas season. 

Merry Christmas to you, and we'll see you back here in the New Year!
-----

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Imagine the weight of rebuilding a marriage amidst public scrutiny and personal failure. Laura and Carl Lentz know this journey all too well, and they graciously join the Vallottons to share their path of healing and redemption following Carl's affair in 2020. Through candid conversations, they explore the complexities of maintaining genuine relationships in the face of betrayal, and the powerful role community support can play in times of crisis. Their story is not just one of personal recovery, but also a testament to the resilience found in embracing vulnerability and committing to change.

Beyond their personal trials, the Vallottons tackle the broader theme of balancing emotional health with spiritual growth. In a world where hyper-spirituality often masks deeper issues, the Lentzes open up about the necessity of addressing deep-seated pain and the deceptive self-lies that perpetuate addiction. Our conversation digs into the intricate dynamics of rebuilding trust after infidelity, underscoring the pivotal moments of honesty and the proactive steps needed to create a foundation for healing. Laura's experience in setting clear boundaries and expectations highlights the courage required to face the truth and the profound freedom it can bring.

Through real-life examples, this conversation illustrates how openness can transform potentially humiliating situations into valuable teaching moments that build trust and resilience. his episode is infused with hope, reminding us all of the transformative impact of perseverance and the lasting benefits of living truthfully amidst life's challenges. This episode dives into the nuances of addressing hidden pain, repairing broken trust, and creating a new foundation for relationships—not by erasing the past but by learning from it.

Whether you’ve faced challenges in your marriage, struggled with trust, or simply want to know that restoration is possible, this episode is for you. It’s an honest conversation that doesn’t shy away from the hard truths but offers hope, practical insights, and a reminder that no matter how deep the wound, healing is always possible.

Connect with Carl and Laura Lentz:
Carl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Laura Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Episode Summary:
In this special Q&A episode, the Vallottons tackle some of your most heartfelt and practical questions about trust, forgiveness, marriage, and family life. Whether you're looking for ways to rebuild trust, navigate the early months of marriage, or create meaningful family traditions, this episode has something for everyone.

What’s Covered in Today’s Episode:

1. How is trust practically built when it’s been broken?
   • Steps to rebuild trust through accountability, transparency, and consistent actions over time.
   • The importance of small, intentional efforts in repairing relational safety.
2. What happens if I forgive but cannot forget?
   • Understanding forgiveness as a journey and why forgetting isn’t required.
   • Rebuilding trust is a process that requires seeing repeated success in that area of previous failure and also taking the risk to trust again.
3. How do my wife of 2 months and I better create routine in the craziness of life?
   • Ideas for setting rhythms and routines to strengthen your marriage.
   • Carving out time for intentional connection as newlyweds before the demands of life and family make it harder to prioritize.
4. What’s the most repetitive struggle you usually see with men?
   • Insights into common patterns, such as passivity and disconnection.
   • Encouragement and strategies to move past these struggles inside connection with other men through BraveCo.
5. How do you celebrate Advent with your kids?
   • Creative and meaningful ways to engage children during the Advent season.
   • Balancing faith, fun, and family in holiday traditions.
   • Discovering Christmas: A 25 Day Advent Devotional with Activities for Kids
6. Can you share creative family rhythms and traditions that shape family culture?
   • How intentional practices can strengthen bonds and pass on values.
   • Examples of daily, weekly, and seasonal traditions to cultivate connection.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Join the Vallottons as they share insights after leading their recent marriage intensive, where we spent six weeks with couples dedicated to enhancing their relational health. Through real-life counseling scenarios, and rounds of these marriage courses, the Vallottons have discovered what is common to many couples and identify keys to breakthrough in these different areas. 

Takeaways include:
- it's the couples who want to grow and learn who get well
- it's not conflict that tears apart connection, but rather behavior in conflict
- a lack of self-awareness about what you bring into your marriage can be a downfall
- a lack of tools for healthy communication is common and impacts EVERY other area of marriage life

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org