This week’s episode is taken from the BraveCo podcast as the Vallotton’s  believe the message is SO important for the Dates, Mates, & Babies audience too!

From Jason on the BraveCo Podcast:

THE BRAVECO RITE OF PASSAGE: https://www.braveco.org/riteofpassage
As a pastor, counselor, and dad, I have watched so many young men stumble their way into manhood without a clear pathway. In this episode of the Brave Co Podcast, I break down the stages our sons move through and what it looks like to call them out of boyhood and into manhood with intention. From the “cop” phase with little kids, to mentoring teens, to coaching young men who are 18, 19, and 20 and still living at home, I share real stories from my own life and conversations I have with fathers all the time.

I talk about how to shift from controlling your son’s every move to training him to make wise decisions, carry real responsibility, and discover his God-given purpose. You will hear how my dad prepared me for puberty, identity, and independence, why I had to start fighting my own battles, and how those milestones shaped me. Then I walk you through what to do when your son wants to stay at home as an adult, how to set clear expectations, and how to stop enabling him so he can grow into a man who produces more than he consumes.

If you are a dad of a teenage or young adult son, this conversation will give you language, courage, and a practical roadmap. I also share why we created the BraveCo Rite of Passage, a 30-hour weekend where fathers and sons encounter God together, push their limits, and mark the moment a boy is called into manhood. Join us February 28 – March 1, 2026 in Jacksonville, Florida. Get all the details and grab your spot at braveco.org, and do not forget to subscribe, share this episode with another dad, and drop a comment with your biggest takeaway.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this Q&A episode, Lauren and Jason tackle four raw and relatable listener questions that hit at the heart of modern relationships — from rebuilding trust to navigating intimacy, distance, and co-parenting.

In this episode, they discuss:

💔 When words cut deep:

A wife is struggling to heal after learning her husband once fantasized about other women. Though he’s showing empathy and doing the work, she can’t shake the fear of abandonment. Lauren and Jay unpack how to rebuild safety after emotional betrayal and what healing looks like when your partner’s change feels real — but your heart still hurts.

🌍 Long-distance love:

What does it take to make a relationship thrive when you’re miles apart? The Vallottons share their best tips for staying connected across distance — from setting rhythms of communication to keeping emotional intimacy alive (even when FaceTime freezes mid-sentence).

🔥 When sex becomes a struggle:

He thinks more sex will fix the problem; she feels pressured and disconnected. Lauren and Jason explore how couples can move from obligation to connection, and why true intimacy starts with emotional safety, not frequency.

👩‍👦 Co-parenting with disrespect:

A single mom is raising her son alongside a dad who doesn’t treat her with respect. She’s worried about what her son is learning from their dynamic. The Vallottons discuss how to model dignity, set boundaries, and protect your child’s sense of honor — even when the other parent won’t play fair.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this episode, Lauren and Jason sit down to talk about what it really looks like to lead your family well while carrying leadership responsibilities in ministry, business, and life. Whether you’re parenting toddlers or launching teens, this conversation will help you build a home that’s healthy, connected, and grounded in vision.

They share what they learned from blending their family and why the long game of parenting matters so much. Together, the Vallottons unpack the Three C’s that have shaped their own family:

1️⃣ Culture — Build belonging through identity.

Every family has a culture. Are you building yours on purpose? Learn how to establish a shared language that gives your kids identity and belonging. 

2️⃣ Consistency — Play the long game.

Family is formed through repetition, not reaction. Discover how small, faithful rhythms create stability and character over time — even when you can’t see the fruit yet.

3️⃣ Capacity — Lead from health, not hustle.

Your home doesn’t need your title; it needs your presence. Jason and Lauren share how they’ve learned to create space for rest, connection, and emotional honesty so their home stays full of life — not burnout.

Enjoy!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Blending a family isn’t just about making schedules work or learning each other’s habits. It’s about entering into an already-formed culture — one that existed before you. For the stepparent, that often means grieving what you imagined family life would look like, while choosing to restrain yourself from immediately reshaping the environment into “yours.”

In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk candidly about:

• Why grief is a normal and healthy part of the step-parenting journey
• The tension between honoring the existing family culture and slowly helping build a new one
• The unspoken expectations that every stepparent carries — and what to do with them
• Why building a new “normal” takes years (Ron Deal says seven, and it often feels true!)
• Encouragement for couples to stay connected in the long process of blending

If you’re in the thick of a blended family dynamic, you are not crazy and you are not alone. Healing, belonging, and love can grow in the middle of the mess — but it takes time, patience, and a lot of grace.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Jason and Lauren have big news to share—their first grandbaby has arrived! 🎉 In this special family update episode, they reflect on the joy of this new season, the surprises of grandparenting while still raising their own 5- and 3-year-old, and what it means to live out relational health across generations.

Together, they unpack:

• 🌿 The uniqueness of navigating multiple family “layers” at once—parenting littles, supporting adult children, and stepping into grandparenthood
• 🎄 How conversations around holidays like Christmas shift when legacy and generational traditions come into play
• 👵🏼 The role of grandparents in relational health—offering support without overstepping, helping without hovering
• 👶 What’s different about parenting littles versus grandparenting (and how both roles sharpen each other)
• ❤️ Navigating relationships with adult kids as they step into parenthood, and why cheering them on matters more than critiquing
• 🌈 The emotional mix of joy, nostalgia, and gratitude in life’s transition seasons

The Vallottons remind listeners that family is never static—it’s always growing and reshaping. Whether you’re raising littles, sending teens into the world, or welcoming grandkids, relational health comes down to connection, presence, and legacy.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

What do you do when staying in your marriage feels unsafe, but separation feels like it might be the end of everything you hoped for? Separation is one of the most raw and tender topics couples face—and for many, it carries fear, shame, and deep confusion.

In this episode, pastors and coaches Jason and Lauren Vallotton respond to two courageous listener questions about separation in marriage. With compassion and faith-filled honesty, they explore how to discern when separation is a protective step, what questions to ask in the midst of uncertainty, and how to hold covenant and safety together without feeling trapped by either.

They discuss:

• Why separation does not equal failure—and how it can be a tool for safety and clarity.
• The key questions to ask when considering reconciliation: Is there sustained change? Is safety being rebuilt? Am I experiencing peace or manipulation?
• How to navigate the tension between covenant and crisis, especially when abuse or repeated betrayal is present.
• Why God values safety and mental health as much as marriage covenant.
• The importance of community, accountability, and long-term fruit when walking through separation.
• Practical pathways forward, whether toward reconciliation or a different future, always anchored in hope and healing.

Jason and Lauren remind listeners that separation is not the end of the story. If you’re walking through a season of uncertainty or pain in your marriage, this episode will bring perspective, permission, and pastoral care.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

What do you do when your husband’s porn struggle becomes a story you tell about yourself—about not being pretty enough, skinny enough, or desirable enough? For so many women, his brokenness becomes her self-hatred. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

In this powerful episode, pastors and coaches Jason and Lauren Vallotton share hope and healing for women who are carrying shame that was never theirs to hold. With compassion and clarity, they unpack why porn is not about a wife’s worth, how self-hatred lies to keep women isolated, and what tools actually help rebuild connection and restore identity.

Together, they walk through:

• You Are Not the Cause — Why porn is about escape, not about you “measuring up.”
  
  
• Self-Hatred Is a Liar — How shame masquerades as self-awareness and how to speak truth over yourself instead.
  
  
• You Still Deserve Empathy — Why your pain is valid and how to ask for emotional repair.
  
  
• You’re Allowed to Ask for Help — Practical steps for inviting God, community, and safe people into your healing.

If you’ve ever felt the sting of comparison or the weight of carrying your spouse’s struggle, this episode is a reminder: you’re not broken, you’re not too much, and your story doesn’t end in shame. Healing is possible—for your marriage, yes, but even more importantly, for you.

Resources:

Shasta Blue Sky Addiction & Trauma Recovery Services

75. What to do in Marriage Emergencies

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Every new season brings change—and with it, a sense of disorientation. As human beings, we’re wired for stability and rhythm, so even good change can feel uncomfortable at first. The question isn’t whether change will shake us, but how we walk through it without losing our footing.

In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton share practical wisdom for navigating transitions with grace, humor, and hope. From their own stories of job changes and parenting milestones, they remind us that adjustment takes time (sometimes at least two weeks!), and that flexibility is key when fear tempts us to tighten up.

They explore:

• Why it’s normal to feel unsettled in the middle of change.
  
  
• The “two-week rule” that helps reframe transitions.
  
  
• How fear can make us rigid—and why flexibility matters most during change.
  
  
• The importance of limiting how much newness you introduce at one time.
  
  
• Guarding connection with your spouse and close relationships so disorientation doesn’t drive disconnection.
  
  
• How leaning into God brings clarity, peace, and a renewed sense of purpose for each season.
  
  

If you’ve ever felt unsettled in the face of change, this conversation will remind you: disorientation is temporary, and you don’t have to walk through it alone.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Counseling is incredibly valuable. Jason and Lauren are huge proponents of marriage counseling, coaching and investing in marriage in a way that invites outside input from experts who can give great feedback to help couples grow in their connection. But it’s so common for couples to spend years in sessions and workshops and retreats without ever experiencing lasting breakthrough. Why? Because no matter how good the tools are, they don’t work if certain foundations aren’t in place.

In this episode, pastors and coaches Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack some of the hidden reasons couples stay stuck—even with professional help—and how to create the kind of environment where real change is possible.

They explore:

• Why solving problems without first building connection is like trying to spend from an empty bank account.
  
  
• How misdiagnosing root issues keeps couples treating the wrong thing—and stuck in painful cycles.
  
  
• Why communication tools and boundaries fail if you don’t understand your actual relational cycle.
  
  
• How “making things fair” in sessions can unintentionally block radical ownership—something both spouses need in order to break patterns.
  
  
• Why safety is the soil for growth, and how tools can feel like weapons if emotional safety isn’t present.
  
  
• The importance of “turning toward” your spouse and focusing on one clear target at a time.

This conversation offers fresh perspective and practical guidance for anyone longing for deeper transformation in their marriage.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Jason and Lauren share wisdom from their unique experience raising both adult children and toddlers. Drawing from years of hands-on parenting, they dive into the intentional strategies that shape children into healthy, resilient adults—especially in a world that's vastly different from the one they grew up in.

Topics covered include:

• Why the goal is raising adults, not just managing children
• The importance of skills like delayed gratification, perseverance, and planning
• How to build family identity through phrases like “Vallottons tell the truth” and “Vallottons are helpers”
• Why today’s parenting landscape is nothing like past generations—and what to do about it
• How to establish healthy boundaries: what decisions your child makes on their own vs. with your input
• A new way to view trust: as a developmental process, not just a reflection of character
• Why certain "non-negotiables" (like music or swim lessons) are actually gifts you give your child
• Creating rhythms and structure while your kids are still moldable—because character is built early

Whether you're in the toddler trenches or navigating teenage independence, this conversation offers practical tools and timeless vision for parenting with the end in mind.

👉 If this episode encouraged you, share it with a fellow parent and leave a review to help others find our show!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org