"Most people want to reconnect with their spouse—but they don’t know how to hit the mark when emotions are high. They either get defensive, spiral into shame, or shut down. Today, I want to help you learn how to truly connect when it matters most—especially when there’s pain involved."

In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton break down what happens when emotional disconnection builds over time and how to move toward reconnection with empathy, responsibility, and compassion.

This episode explores:

• Why disconnection happens: How unmet needs and unresolved pain quietly widen the emotional gap between partners.
• The shame spiral: Why shame convinces people they are the problem, and how shifting to personal ownership can restore emotional safety.
• Empathy, sympathy, and compassion: A practical breakdown of each—and why compassion is the key to repair.
• A step-by-step guide to reconnection:
  • Get curious, not defensive
  • Listen without fixing
  • Validate and empathize
  • Take ownership
  • Offer a sincere apology

Final encouragements:

• For those who’ve been hurt: Give space for ownership—don’t force it, but don’t shrink back either.
• For those who missed it: Perfection isn’t required, but presence is.

This episode offers practical steps and real-life insight for any couple looking to reconnect—especially when it matters most.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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In this vulnerable and practical Q&A episode, Jason and Lauren tackle some of your most heartfelt questions—from dating dynamics and stepparenting to conflict in marriage and unmet emotional needs.

With their trademark honesty and experience, they unpack the real stuff of relationships: fear, longing, love, and how to keep showing up even when it’s hard.

In this episode, the Vallottons respond to questions like:

• “How do I take dating slow while discerning if I can handle marrying someone with kids?”
  
  
• “Why do I shut down in conflict, and how do I stay present when fear hits?”
  
  
• “I’m walking through divorce and financial fallout—what now?”
  
  
• “Any tips for surviving the newborn season… with our marriage still intact?”
  
  
• “What do I do with my unmet desire for intimacy, pursuit, and emotional connection in marriage?”

From practical tools to spiritual insight, this episode is full of compassionate, grounded advice for anyone trying to navigate love in a complicated world.

Whether you’re in the trenches of parenting, learning to love through pain, or just trying to figure out what’s next—this one’s for you.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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“She never wanted to fight her husband. But somewhere along the way, she stopped feeling safe—and started showing up in survival mode.”

In this episode, Jason and Lauren unpack the emotional toll disconnection takes on a woman, especially when she's forced to lead, manage, and defend in her relationship. They explore what masculine energy looks like in a woman, why it’s often a trauma response—not rebellion—and how emotional safety (not control) is the key to restoring connection.

You’ll hear:

• A real coaching story of a disconnected couple
  
  
• How a woman feeling safe, seen and known activates connection
  
  
• What healthy masculinity is designed to bring
  
  
• Practical steps to rebuild trust and intimacy

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Spring cleaning isn't just for your closet—what about the things we’ve been carrying in our hearts, homes, and relationships that need a reset?

In this episode, Jason and Lauren take the idea of spring cleaning beyond junk drawers and cluttered cabinets and dive deep into the unseen spaces of our emotional, relational, and spiritual lives. From the bathroom cabinet that hasn’t been cleaned out in a year to the mental tabs we’ve left open way too long, they explore what it looks like to make space for peace, connection, and growth in every area.

What You’ll Hear:
🧠 Emotional & Mental Inventory

• How unspoken expectations, resentment, and grief can clog up your inner world
• What decision fatigue and overthinking might be trying to tell you
• Prompts to help you recognize what you’re still holding onto that you no longer need

💞 Relationship Reset

• Signs of relational clutter in marriage, dating, or singleness
• Are you acting like roommates or partners?
• How to replace criticism and avoidance with curiosity, gratitude, and fun
• A powerful question to ask: What’s gotten dusty in our connection that needs tending?

🙏 Spiritual Alignment

• Are you going through the motions or truly connecting with God?
• How to realign your priorities and make space for spiritual renewal

🧹 A Fresh Start
Jason and Lauren offer three simple “spring cleaning” actions to bring clarity and freedom:

1. Have a marriage check-in
2. Delete digital distractions
3. Forgive (yes, even that one thing… again)

Plus, a gentle nudge to revisit those New Year’s goals with fresh eyes and grace.

Takeaway Question:
What’s one area—internal, relational, or spiritual—where you want to clear space this season?

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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The public school system is broken. Too many kids feel left behind, uninspired, and stuck in a one-size-fits-all model that doesn’t prepare them for real life—or real relationships. As a dad and leader, Jason believes we need a radical shift. That’s why he sat down with Dr. Tyler Thigpen, an education innovator, to explore a new approach—one that fosters independence, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence.

In this episode, Jason and Tyler unpack why the system is failing, what’s working in learner-centered models, and how parents can take the lead. These new environments don’t just teach facts—they shape identity, build resilience, and equip kids for healthy, whole lives.

If you care about how your kids are learning and growing, this episode is for you. Let’s raise a generation ready for both life and love.

More about Dr. Thigpen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thigpentyler/

Tyler grew up in Georgia and has worked in innovative district, private, and charter schools, as well as statewide and national nonprofits. Tyler is co-founder and CEO of The Forest School: An Acton Academy in Trilith, The Forest School Online, and the Institute for Self-Directed Learning, Academic Director at the University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education, and Guest Lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Formerly, Tyler was partner at Transcend, a national nonprofit in school redesign, and worked closely on innovative school projects such as nXu, Whittle, The Academy Group, Washington Leadership Academy, Art in Motion, Hebrew Public, Teton Science's Place Network, EL Education, and the Brooklyn STEAM Center. 

Tyler also co-founded MENTOR Georgia, Transforming Teaching at Harvard, and the Chattahoochee Hills Charter School. Earlier, Tyler worked as head of the upper school at The Mount Vernon School in Atlanta, Spanish teacher in Gwinnett County public schools, and minister at the Grace family of churches where he led international development in Peru in areas of healthcare, education, poverty reduction, and infrastructure. 

Tyler holds a doctoral degree in education leadership from Harvard Graduate School of Education, a master’s in public administration from Harvard John F. Kennedy School of Government, and a master’s in theological studies from Regent College of the University of British Columbia. Tyler has written about the future of learning in the Washington Post, Education Week, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Getting Smart, and others. Tyler lives with his wife and four children, all of whom attended The Forest School, in Trilith, GA.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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www.braveco.org

Preparing teenagers for adulthood might be the most crucial—and challenging—phase of parenthood. In this candid conversation, The Vallottons explore the essential transition from raising dependent children to launching capable, confident adults.

When parents focus solely on creating a fun and carefree childhood, they risk raising young adults unprepared for real responsibilities. Drawing from their experiences launching three young adults (now 25, 22, and 20) while still raising younger children, Jason and Lauren share both their successes and the lessons they’ve learned through missteps.

The key insight? Start early. Children who learn to contribute to family life from a young age develop a sense of capability that serves them well into adulthood. But for those who realize they’ve started later than ideal, Jason and Lauren offer practical strategies for reframing expectations with teenagers—positioning them not as arbitrary rules, but as essential preparation for their future independence.

This episode includes real-life examples from their own family, including the transformative story of their son who chose to move out one week before high school graduation. Rather than creating distance, this experience strengthened their relationship as he gained a newfound appreciation for the guidance he had once resisted.

The conversation also delves into the different approaches needed for raising sons versus daughters, teaching emotional regulation, and establishing standards for family interactions. Ultimately, successful parenting isn’t measured by how much children enjoy their childhood, but by how confidently they navigate adulthood.

Ready to shift your parenting approach from control to coaching? This episode provides the framework to help parents prepare their teenagers for a successful launch into independence.

💬 Join the conversation on Instagram: @jasonvallotton | @laurenvallotton

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Everyone has a past, but when it comes to relationships, how can someone be sure it no longer has a hold on their present? Whether in dating or marriage, navigating past mistakes, previous relationships, or personal struggles can be complex. How much should be shared, and when does transparency build trust versus causing unnecessary pain?

In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the balance between honesty and wisdom, discussing when full disclosure is valuable and when it may not be helpful. They break down how to recognize genuine healing, build trust, and have important conversations about the past in a way that strengthens relationships rather than creates insecurity.

Key Topics Discussed:

• How to discern if someone has truly moved on from their past
• The role of full disclosure in building trust
• When sharing past mistakes strengthens a relationship versus when it creates unnecessary harm
• How to navigate difficult conversations about previous relationships, personal struggles, or past wounds
• Signs of true healing versus patterns that indicate unresolved issues

Whether preparing for marriage, working through past hurts, or striving to build a foundation of trust, this episode provides insight and practical tools for moving forward in a healthy way.

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 20 - A Plan for Pain, Part 1
• Episode 21 - A Plan for Pain, Part 2

For more conversations on relational health, subscribe to Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons and share this episode with someone who would benefit!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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In this insightful Q&A session, the Vallottons tackle questions submitted by listeners pertaining to marriage and friendship.

Questions include:

1. When I really like someone I feel like I can't think straight anymore. When I’m around them and start to act differently, and I hate it. What's your advice on that?

2. What to do with a man who is confusing with his intentions even after asking for clarity. He's nice and respectful, but I'm still confused.

3. What does "leaving and cleaving" actually mean? And what does it practically look like?

4. When is the right time in dating to ask someone if they want kids?

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Episode 108 is a special treat! In this episode, the Vallottons share a powerful message that Lauren preached on February 20, 2025, at the Bethel Church Prophetic Conference. Rooted in her personal journey of motherhood and the shifting landscape of 2025, Lauren believes this moment marks the dawn of a new era—one defined by breakthrough for followers of Christ.

Drawing from the story of the Israelites’ journey to the Promised Land, Lauren unpacks how God invites us to trust, take risks, believe, hope, and contend for breakthrough—especially in the areas of our hearts where long-held desires have been waiting to be fulfilled.

She closes with a time of prayer, declaring breakthrough over those present at the conference. As you listen, receive these prayers for yourself—may they bring impartation, inspiration, and deep encouragement.

If you experience breakthrough after listening, the Vallottons would love to hear your testimony! Send them your story as they continue to celebrate and share what God is doing in this incredible community of listeners.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore how friendships impact marriage, parenting, and relational health. While friendships often take a backseat to family life, they are crucial in shaping emotional well-being and offering support.

As life gets busier with marriage and parenting, friendships are often neglected. However, research shows that maintaining strong friendships improves marital satisfaction and reduces parenting stress. Jason and Lauren discuss why intentional friendships matter and how to build a supportive community.

Discussion Points:

• Do Your Friendships Support or Strain Your Marriage?
  • Jason reflects on early marriage years when he let go of friendships that didn’t support his relationship.
  • Lauren shares how she invested in friendships to have connections in the same life season.
• The Changing Definition of a Support System
  • A survey of 2,000 parents with kids aged 0-6 found 78% believe the concept of a support "village" has changed from their upbringing.
  • Modern parents rely on an average of seven people for support, often leaning more on friendships than family.
  • Jason discusses how founding BraveCo helped him build relationships with men committed to personal growth.
• How a Lack of Friendships Impacts Emotional Connection in Marriage
  • Despite hardships, Jason’s strong friendships provided stability.
  • Lauren surrounds herself with women who invest in their marriages, reinforcing the importance of supportive friendships.
• The Importance of Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex Friendships in Marriage
  • Jason’s close friendships extend beyond traditional boundaries, such as walking Sum down the aisle.
  • Lauren highlights the security of knowing she has men in her life who would support her and her children.
• Friendships and Parenting: How Parents’ Friendships Shape Their Kids
  • Studies suggest strong friendships lead to happier marriages and lower stress in parenting.
  • Parents modeling healthy friendships significantly influence their children’s social development.
  • Jason and Lauren discuss ways to nurture friendships while raising a family.

Takeaways:

Strong friendships are essential for thriving marriages and healthy families. Jason and Lauren encourage listeners to assess their friendships, invest in meaningful connections, and recognize their profound influence on every aspect of life.

Tune in to this insightful conversation and learn how to strengthen your marriage and family life through intentional friendships!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org