Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons

142. The Dreaming Phase: When Your Expectations Shape You (Before They Break You)


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Last week, Jason and Lauren named the disorientation so many women feel in their 30s — when life doesn’t look the way they imagined. This week, they gently trace the story back to where it began.

Before there was disappointment… there was dreaming.

Lauren reminds listeners that those early dreams weren’t foolish — they were sincere. They mattered. Instead of shaming the younger version of ourselves, maybe we honor her and ask what she was really longing for.

In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore:

  • Why dreaming is holy — how desire often introduces you to your design.
  • How idealism in your 20s isn’t immaturity, but momentum.
  • The subtle shift from “I hope” to “I deserve” when we wait or feel disappointed.
  • How timelines and unspoken expectations can quietly become measuring sticks.
  • The internal contracts we form: “By 30 I’ll be…” “My marriage will feel like…”

You’ll walk away with practical tools to hold vision without clinging:

  • Separate the essence from the packaging.
  • Surrender the timeline, not the desire.
  • Ask who you need to become to carry the dream well.

This episode is tender, grounding, and hopeful — a reminder that the dreaming phase wasn’t wasted. It was forming you.

Maybe your dream didn’t die. Maybe it grew up.

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For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

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Dates, Mates and Babies with the VallottonsBy Jason and Lauren Vallotton

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