LOVE IS FEARLESS

#169: C is for Conversations: How We Restore Freedom at Home


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Introduction: In all of history, there are only two ways to govern: by words or by force. As America celebrates its 250th birthday this year, we're asking: How will we govern our homes? Force demands compliance. Words invite relationship. And the operating system our children learn at home is the operating system they'll carry into the world. Today we're exploring how conversations—not arbitrary consequences—build the kind of trust that makes freedom and agency possible. You're in the right place if:
  • Your child is old enough for tough topics (bullying, sexual identity, pornography, peer pressure), but most of your conversations are functional, not deep
  • You avoid hard conversations because you're afraid they'll end in disconnection or blow up
  • You're governing by force ("because I said so" and consequences) when you really want to govern by words, trust, and relationship—but don't know how to make that shift
  • You grew up where conversations weren't safe and want to break that pattern for your kids
Episode Highlights: Discover the critical difference between governing by force versus governing by words, and why it matters for your child's development of agency. Learn why "conversations build convictions, relationships build trust, and without trust there is no consent—without consent, there is no freedom." We share practical examples of holding boundaries through relationship rather than force, how to approach hard topics like sexual identity and pornography, and the transformative practice of "My Story/God Story" prayer that models honest conversation with God. Plus, hear why letting your kids observe YOU having difficult conversations with other adults might be one of the most powerful teaching tools you have. Key Takeaways:
  1. Have ONE conversation you've been avoiding - with your spouse, child, God, or wise friend. Practice connection instead of control.
  2. Model a safe, difficult conversation in front of your children - let them observe healthy disagreement in a secure relationship.
  3. Start a simple conversation rhythm - dinner table question, car ride check-in, or bedtime pause. Pick ONE and do it consistently.
  4. Practice My Story/God Story prayer - when triggered this week, pause and tell God your actual story, ask Him what's true, then walk in that truth.
Remember: Civic values are born at home. The art of conversation can be recovered—one family at a time, one conversation at a time. Want to practice these conversations in community? Email us about Formation Cohorts and family consulting options. Together, there is great hope.
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LOVE IS FEARLESSBy Janet Newberry

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