David is on vacation this week! We hope you enjoy this substitute illustration of two gentlemen enjoying each other's company.

In which Miles is almost caught up on The Gifted (but still hasn't seen The Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself); Omega Red is a cool action figure but a boring character; Professor Xavier definitely knows what you did last night; Fenris remains delightfully trashy; Weapon X had an improbably high survival rate; Sabretooth cleans up pretty well; we need to work some new rules for dividing up character voices; the Mojoverse has terrible employee benefits; and mongoose blood will definitely not give you superpowers.

X-PLAINED:

Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse

Creative use of teleportation

X-Modifiers

Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con

X-Men vol. 2 #4-7

The sitcom model of creative logistics

One way to bring someone back to life

Mutant Death Factor

Omega Red (Arkady Gregorivich)

Wolverine's school pictures

Gambit's ponytail and the logistics thereof

Sex at the X-Mansion

Fenris fashion

Ritualistic facepalming

Moira MacTaggert's nightmares

Formalwear and motorcycle safety

An elegantly choreographed cockblock

Retracting tentacle logistics

Carbonadium synthesizers

Dr. Pepper Twizzlers

Ponytails as moral compasses

Sabretooth's excellent taste in formalwear

Ornithology

Those big, weird tube handcuff things

Cyclops and Wolverine's eventual friendship

The return of Longshot

What would happen if you gave a human a transfusion of mongoose blood

Some X-Cellent fanfiction

X-details we'd change

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Meets the Hulk!

Special thanks to consulting X-Pert and Actual Scientist Dr. Lauriel Earley!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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