The Autism Mom Coach

185: Co-Regulation


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Before your autistic child can self-regulate, they co-regulate — through you.

Your nervous system becomes their roadmap. Your breath, tone, and posture tell their body whether it’s safe or in danger. This is why your steadiness matters more than any script or strategy.

In this episode, autism mom coach Lisa Candera breaks down the science and skill of co-regulation for autism parents — how two nervous systems sync, how stress transfers between you and your child, and how to use your own body as the anchor that helps them recover.

You’ll learn what’s actually happening in those intense moments — the fight, flight, or freeze responses you both experience — and how to interrupt the cycle by leading with your body’s cues instead of your child’s behavior. Lisa explains why co-regulation is often the missing piece in emotional regulation for autistic children and what it takes to build this skill over time, even when your own nervous system feels maxed out.

This episode goes beyond theory. You’ll get specific, repeatable tools for steadying yourself during meltdowns, transitions, or any moment of dysregulation, and see how these small shifts can reduce reactivity, shorten recovery time, and strengthen trust between you and your child.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:


  • What co-regulation means and how it develops before self-regulation
  • Why your nervous system sets the tone for your child’s emotions and behavior
  • The patterns that keep autism parents stuck in survival mode
  • How your own body history shapes your reactions under stress
  • Five practical ways to use your body cues as steadying signals during meltdowns


Links Mentioned:

  • Schedule a consult with Lisa Candera
  • Download The Autism Mom’s Meltdown Plan

...more
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The Autism Mom CoachBy Lisa Candera

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