Rewrite the Mother Code with Dr. Gertrude Lyons

198: Spoil Your Baby: Debunking Myths and Healing Birth Trauma with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum


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In this fascinating and vital episode, I speak with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum - a neuroscientist, doula, infant and family sleep specialist, and author of The Nurture Revolution. Greer is leading a movement to revolutionize mental health by focusing on the profound impact of caregiving in the earliest stages of life. Her work combines cutting-edge neuroscience with the ancient wisdom of nurturing to empower parents and transform our world.

Our conversation begins with Greer’s own birth story and how the trauma of being separated from her mother planted the seeds for her life's work. We dive into the science that debunks long-held, harmful parenting myths, particularly the idea that you can "spoil a baby." Greer explains how early experiences create implicit memories that shape our brain circuitry for life and offers powerful insights into healing our own birth imprints. We also discuss how the act of mothering is a deeply transformative, neuroplastic experience for the parent, offering a unique opportunity for our own healing and growth.

You'll also hear about:

  • (05:24) How Greer’s own traumatic birth experience—being separated from her mother for hours—became a powerful catalyst for her life's work.
  • (08:26) Why the myth that "babies don't remember" is false, and how early experiences create implicit memories that shape our brains for life.
  • (12:17) A powerful healing technique: re-imagining birth trauma to create a new, embodied sense of safety and trust.
  • (26:32) The surprising and harmful origins of the "spoil your baby" myth and why science proves the opposite is true.
  • (40:32) The "brain bath": How holding your baby releases a cocktail of beneficial neurochemicals for them and rewires your own brain for empathy and self-regulation.
  • (48:36) Why modern mothers are disempowered by the loss of community modeling and what we can do to reclaim that wisdom.
  • (51:36) The "Chrysalis" metaphor for early motherhood: a messy, gooey phase of transformation that allows you to emerge as a beautiful butterfly.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who is a parent, plans to be one, or is on a journey to heal their own inner child.

Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts!

Learn more about Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum

  • Learn more on Greer's Website
  • Buy the book: The Nurture Revolution
  • Follow Greer on Instagram
  • Listen to the Spoil your baby Podcast

Follow Dr. Gertrude: 

  • Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s website
  • Follow Dr. Gertrude on Instagram
  • Stay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s newsletter
  • Order Dr. Gertrude’s new book “Rewrite the Mother Code


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Rewrite the Mother Code with Dr. Gertrude LyonsBy Dr. Gertrude Lyons

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