Fires raced across two areas of Los Angeles last week. Roxanne thinks it's the work of twisted pyromaniacs, but Virginia is convinced that the Griffith Park fire was started by a meth-head cruising for a blow job in the park. As for the Catalina fire, we're both convinced that the fire is a sure sign for the woman about to get married in Catalina that she really shouldn't get married at all. It's a sign that she should come out as a Lesbian instead.

The fascists of political correctness set their sites on a stereotypical, older, white male and prepare to fire. As champions of the cause, they come out with both guns blaring and project all their baggage about how he doesn't respect or acknowledge gay relationships. What they didn't know...is that this particular older white man is Roxanne's Dad.

Good relationships take balance, cooperation and joint responsiblity for household chores. Everyone has their job to do, whether it means obsessively vacuuming up dog hair, taking out trash barrels filled with dog shit, or simply emptying out trash cans on the neighbor's lawn.

When it comes to your very best friends, you want to make sure you pick out a special gift that they will remember forever. Ideally, it will be something they can reminisce about and talk about for years to come. So, the next time a special occasion rolls around and you need to pick out a gift for someone special, we're here for you.

You Googled MILF because your membership in the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) expired and you wanted to find their web site. What came up instead was the Wikipedia entry for MILF: 1. (slang) Mother I'd like to fuck: A mother found sexually attractive.

Take one part stupid, two parts ignorant and three parts asshole. Stir ingredients vigorously with middle finger until good and frothy. Bake in the Los Angeles freeway system for 45 minutes, and you're got a nice, steaming plate of Road Rage. Serves four.

On your birthday you always get to be princess for a day. Of course, it wouldn't be fair to those around you who might not be around to celebrate for just that one day. That's why you have to celebrate your birthday week and maybe even your birthday month as well. Next year, why not just go for the gusto and call it your birthday year.

Take a ride with Roxanne as she gets ready for ALC 6 on a training day designed to give the volunteers and the cyclists an idea of what it will be like on an actual day of on the event itself. Roxanne is awed by the way the cyclists pull together to help each other up the long, steep hills, and she is blown away by the inspirational qualities of disco music, even among a generation that grew up with Milli Vanilli.

For seven days this coming June, Roxanne and Virginia will be volunteering to support the more than 2,000 riders and 500 volunteer roadies on the AIDS Life Cycle 6 cycling event to raise money for AIDS care. This is Roxanne's maiden voyage on the event and Virginia's 13th time as either a volunteer or a cyclist. ALC is a 585 mile bicycle ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles to support the HIV services of the LA Gay & Lesbian Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Help Roxanne meet her fundraising goal by clicking on the link to the right.

We all had them the first time around, but only those with a real sense of style and class were bold enough to get in on the most recent mullet craze. Apparently, we have to get out more.