In this deeply moving episode, I speak with Ronit Plank, a writer, teacher, editor, and host of the Let's Talk Memoir podcast. Ronit is the author of the award-winning memoir When She Comes Back, which chronicles the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation.

Ronit shares her powerful story of growing up with a mother who left her and her sister to follow a guru in India, and her father who then became a single parent. We explore the profound impact of abandonment, the role of the "parentified" child, and how Ronit navigated these wounds into her own motherhood journey.

Our conversation delves into the transformative power of memoir writing as a tool for healing. Ronit explains how writing her story allowed her to reframe her narrative, understand her parents as complex individuals rather than villains, and move from a place of victimhood to one of agency and acceptance. We discuss the nuances of forgiveness versus acceptance, the importance of taking responsibility for our own patterns in relationships, and why sharing our authentic, messy stories is a vital act of connection and self-mothering.

You'll also hear about:

• (01:39) Ronit's childhood: born on a kibbutz in Israel, moving to the US, and her mother leaving for India to follow Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.
• (04:55) The experience of being a "parentified" older daughter and the lasting impact of early abandonment.
• (08:09) How memoir writing helps reframe personal history and create a "redemptive narrative".
• (20:19) Why Ronit prefers the concept of "acceptance" over "forgiveness" when healing family relationships.
• (25:43) Understanding our own role in family dynamics and taking responsibility for our coping mechanisms.
• (33:07) The varied reactions of Ronit's family members to her memoir, including her father's surprising feedback.
• (43:18) Exploring the "mother who leaves" archetype with compassion and understanding the complex reasons behind such choices.
• (52:07) Ronit's definition of "Rewrite the Mother Code": tuning into intuition and not abandoning oneself while nurturing others.

Join us for this insightful conversation about the power of story, the complexity of family, and the healing journey of rewriting our own narratives.

Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts!

Learn more about Ronit Plank:

• Learn more on Ronit's Website
• Connect with Ronit on LinkedIn
• Listen to the Let's Talk Memoir Podcast
• Follow Ronit on Instagram

Follow Dr. Gertrude: 

• Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s Website
• Follow Dr. Gertrude on Instagram
• Stay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s Substack
• Order Dr. Gertrude’s new book “Rewrite the Mother Code”