In this insightful episode, Dr. Gertrude Lyons welcomes Emily Paulsen, an award-winning entrepreneur, brand strategist through her studio Electric Collab, and host of the Curious Life of a Child-Free Woman podcast. Emily is dedicated to shining a light on the often-overshadowed child-free by choice perspective.

Their conversation centers on the powerful collision of the "mother code" world with the child-free narrative, demonstrating that the essence of mothering is universal, regardless of motherhood status. Emily shares her deep personal passion for empowering women, describing "girlfriends" as her love language. This passion for female community is what Dr. Lyons connects to the core of self-mothering, explaining that while the spark begins within, the "blaze" is ignited and kept alive in sisterhood.

They discuss how patriarchal and over-masculine value systems have historically sought to disempower women by splitting them up and pitting them against each other. The episode also tackles the intense societal judgment placed on women, referencing the shocking death threats received by a woman who dared to write about "regretting having children". Emily also details her work with Electric Collab, which is focused on helping women entrepreneurs and founders articulate their unique value and "secret sauce" to the world through premium branding.

You'll also hear about:

• (03:08) The challenge for women to define themselves beyond statistics (job, marital status, kids) .
• (03:25) Emily's lifelong passion for female community, calling "girlfriends" her love language.
• (03:30) Her frustration as a cheerleader that their job was to root for boys, not celebrate the women's own accomplishments.
• (05:10) Emily's continued commitment to female community through college and career, and her current work to professionally and personally build other women up.
• (06:00) Dr. Gertrude Lyons's distinction between mothering (universal) and motherhood (choice), and the critical importance of self-mothering.
• (07:18) Why the self-mothering flame is amplified in community and how the separation of women is a tool of disempowerment.
• (07:53) How patriarchal and over-masculine value systems intentionally split and pit women against each other to disempower them.
• (20:19) The profound and hostile reaction, including death threats, a woman received for sharing her truth about "regretting having children".
• (29:51) How the word "selfish" is weaponized against women on both sides of the parenting divide—whether for not having kids or for having them.
• (38:40) The importance of normalizing child-free lives beyond celebrities like Oprah and Dolly Parton to show that it is a valid, happy path for everyday women.
• (42:23) The workplace bias that assumes child-free women have unlimited free time and should pick up the slack.
• (49:40) Why parents should include child-free friends in kid-centric events rather than assuming they don't want to attend to avoid creating an "echo chamber".
• (51:40) Emily's work with her brand studio, Electric Collab, to help women entrepreneurs articulate their unique "secret sauce" and value.

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Learn more about Emily Paulsen:

• Learn more on Emily's Website
• Listen to the Curious Life of a Child-Free Woman Podcast

Follow Dr. Gertrude: 

• Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s Website
• Follow Dr. Gertrude on Instagram
• Stay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s Substack
• Order Dr. Gertrude’s new book “Rewrite the Mother Code”