Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it still sucks to be a Rasputin; John Romita Jr. has a solid, if muscular, grasp of anatomy; Jay and Miles are better exes than Forge and anyone; and Cannonball’s many younger siblings have almost prepared him for running X-Force.

X-PLAINED:

Peters Parker

The Merry X-Men Holiday Special

Comic book release schedules vs. J&MXPtXM

Uncanny X-Men #301-302

Trevor F**king Fitzroy, possibly the worst Upstart

Comics Code Authority closeting versus real-life closeting

21st Century Torture Devices

Risky mood fonts

Robert’s Rules of Upstart Order (this week)

Gamesmaster vs. the Isolationist

Shinobi Shaw: Good At Sex

Russian tragedy (more, again)

Charles Xavier and his poor decisions

Shi’ar tech support

Pants and villainy

Racist jerks vs. rhetorical questions

TIME PARADOX

Weirdly specific contingencies

Piotr Rasputin and his justified fury

X-Force #24

Meaningless (but fun!) timestamps

The Friends of Humanity (who are not our friends)

Rusty and Skids’ latest arrest

Disappointed Dad Sam Guthrie

Action vs. public perception

Vinz Clortho

Domino’s continuing quest to figure out what exactly an X-Force is

The dramatic return of… well, you know

Spacesuit logistics

Numerical universe designations

Plastic Warlock

NEXT EPISODE: Our Fifth Annual Giant-Size Winter Special!

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