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Join Traci and Emily Erstad, author of It's Not That Deep, regional operations strategist, executive director in hospice, and soulful leadership coach, as they explore how to break free from the mental loops that keep us stuck—and still lead with heart.
Spoiler alert: Being a deep thinker and deep feeler is a gift, but staying there indefinitely is the problem.
Emily unpacks why so many high-achieving leaders and HR professionals get trapped in what she calls the "doom loop"—where perfectionism, overthinking, and taking ourselves too seriously becomes the very thing that blocks our progress. You'll discover how to leverage emotional intelligence without letting it become an excuse for avoiding accountability, and why boundaries and vulnerability aren't opposites—they're both essential to building trust.
What We Cover:
– The doom loop that keeps deep thinkers trapped in unproductive cycles
– Perfectionism as a self-diminisher and team drainer
– Trauma dumping versus authentically sharing hard things
– Why "triggered" has replaced actual disagreement and conversation
– Setting boundaries without sacrificing your authenticity or kindness
– The difference between over-empathy and strategic compassion in leadership
– Culture is about knowing your team's limits, not pizza parties
– Using vulnerability strategically to build trust and transparency
– The next frontier in leadership: moving beyond "emotions are valid" to action
– Observation and reflection as the antidote to reactive leadership
Key Quote: "You are important, but you're not that important. You're adding a lot of responsibility to yourself that's so unnecessary, and it's just going to drive you nuts. And you being driven nuts is not productive." – Emily Erstad
Connect with Emily Erstad:
Website: https://eepublications.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsnotthatdeep_author/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emily-erstad-m-a-ccc-slp-381346135/
Book: It's Not That Deep
Connect with Traci here:
https://linktr.ee/HRTraci
Disclaimer: Thoughts, opinions, and statements made on this podcast are not a reflection of the thoughts, opinions, and statements of the Company by whom Traci Chernoff is actively employed.
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products or services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.
By Traci Chernoff4.7
8989 ratings
Join Traci and Emily Erstad, author of It's Not That Deep, regional operations strategist, executive director in hospice, and soulful leadership coach, as they explore how to break free from the mental loops that keep us stuck—and still lead with heart.
Spoiler alert: Being a deep thinker and deep feeler is a gift, but staying there indefinitely is the problem.
Emily unpacks why so many high-achieving leaders and HR professionals get trapped in what she calls the "doom loop"—where perfectionism, overthinking, and taking ourselves too seriously becomes the very thing that blocks our progress. You'll discover how to leverage emotional intelligence without letting it become an excuse for avoiding accountability, and why boundaries and vulnerability aren't opposites—they're both essential to building trust.
What We Cover:
– The doom loop that keeps deep thinkers trapped in unproductive cycles
– Perfectionism as a self-diminisher and team drainer
– Trauma dumping versus authentically sharing hard things
– Why "triggered" has replaced actual disagreement and conversation
– Setting boundaries without sacrificing your authenticity or kindness
– The difference between over-empathy and strategic compassion in leadership
– Culture is about knowing your team's limits, not pizza parties
– Using vulnerability strategically to build trust and transparency
– The next frontier in leadership: moving beyond "emotions are valid" to action
– Observation and reflection as the antidote to reactive leadership
Key Quote: "You are important, but you're not that important. You're adding a lot of responsibility to yourself that's so unnecessary, and it's just going to drive you nuts. And you being driven nuts is not productive." – Emily Erstad
Connect with Emily Erstad:
Website: https://eepublications.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsnotthatdeep_author/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emily-erstad-m-a-ccc-slp-381346135/
Book: It's Not That Deep
Connect with Traci here:
https://linktr.ee/HRTraci
Disclaimer: Thoughts, opinions, and statements made on this podcast are not a reflection of the thoughts, opinions, and statements of the Company by whom Traci Chernoff is actively employed.
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products or services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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