Megamillionaire supplements and New Age life coach tycoon Aubrey Marcus recently claimed the goddess Isis told him that he must impregnate both his wife and the third member of their throuple while doing spiritual tourism in Egypt.

During a nearly three-hour podcast, the three explain their polygamous plans and heartaches while their on-call guru, Marc Gafni—an old-school spiritualist most famous for the long list of sexual assault and misconduct allegations against him—frames their drama as a sacred crisis.

We pick apart the spectacle, assessing how badly Marcus is getting his ass beat.

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