2Sisters Speak: Surviving the Sandwich Generation

Communicating with someone who has dementia can be especially challenging because relating to them becomes increasingly hard as their memory declines.

Drawing upon our years of experience, we have seen what is most successful for families. This, along with our Certified Dementia Practitioner certifications, sets the stage for this episode about communication approaches.

Three take-ways from this episode:

1. What is truth? Truth is a matter of perspective, especially for people with dementia.
2. People who have dementia process information very differently than we can relate to. We cannot control their thoughts or behaviors, but we can control ours in order to best support them.
3. Validation and redirection are crucial approaches to successful communication with those who have dementia.

What is a Certified Dementia Practitioner? The mission of the NCCDP® (https://www.nccdp.org/) is to promote, encourage and enhance the knowledge, skills and practice of all persons who provide care and / or services to Dementia clients by means of requiring excellent standards of education, Dementia specific training and incentives for professional development of those who are dedicated to the ever growing field of Dementia Care.

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More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2021 - 2023 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

What should you ask during a tour of an assisted living or a nursing home? What should you prepare for and expect? In this episode, we offer our advice for a productive initial tour.

Michelle Woodbrey, Alyson Powers and Emily Rogue come together to share their tips for touring an assisted living community or nursing facility. One of the most common questions we are asked is if we have a checklist for touring. In fact, we don't. Listen to find out why and what we recommend instead!

Three key takeaways from this episode:

1. Take notes after your tour and then follow-up to get your questions answered.
2. Do take the opportunity to tour nursing homes in advance whenever it is possible.
3. The formula to a great care environment is: happy staff equals happy residents.

To schedule a free initial consultation click here to find a time in our calendar!

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2021 - 2023 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

Happy New Year! What is your New Years' resolution? You don't have one? We don't either! Join us as we embrace our inner-Goblins for 2023.

Goblin Mode is defined as a "type of behavior which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations." This was Oxford's word of the year for 2022 and we feel seen.

After 2+ years of enduring through a global pandemic with heightened political tension and a climate in crisis , we're tired. And we're tired of being women who don't seem to be tired. Let's not set huge expectations for ourselves at the start of this new year if we don't want to. Let's just show up, as we are. This is Goblin mode.

Three key takeaways from this episode:

1. According to Oxford, Goblin Mode was chosen because it reflects the mood of the past 12 months. We were thrilled to learn we are not the only ones.
2. Just show up. It doesn't necessarily matter how you show up, just show up.
3. Being authentic and not pretending to be something you're not gives others permission to do the same. Let's be Goblins together.

References & Links mentioned in the show:

https://www.npr.org/2022/12/05/1140696560/oxford-word-2022-goblin-mode

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2022/12/06/goblin-mode-meaning-oxford/

To schedule a free initial consultation click here to find a time in our calendar!

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2023 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

Why do I want an air-fryer so badly? And why won't my aging loved one ask for help when they need it? How can these things possibly be connected? And maybe most importantly, why are we talking about this on a podcast?

At least once or twice a week we talk to someone who made a promise to a loved one that they can't keep. "I promised my dad I would never put him in a home," for example. They had the best of intentions to keep their promise, but they didn't have all of the facts before making a commitment like that. Aside from legitimate constraints, like finances, that may make keeping promises like that impossible, home may not actually be what your loved one wants. In many circumstances people are not thriving at home and that is not what they are clinging to, instead it's the feeling of comfort and safety that being home represents for them. And change is hard at any age.

In this episode, Alyson and Michelle discuss ways to successfully get your loved one's buy in to participate in planning for their safety in the future.

Three key takeaways from this episode:

1. We are all in a developmental phase, the purpose for which is a search for independence, control and meaning. Our aging loved ones are no exception.
2. Air fryers are cool.
3. The best way to get our loved one's buy in is to listen to them and make sure they feel that they are being heard. Even if their expectations are unrealistic, success really comes best from understanding exactly what they envision as possible for themselves.

References & Links mentioned in the show:

Gene Cohen, a student of psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, states that we are all endowed with an Inner Push that urges us on with our development at every age. Throughout their lives, people are always at some level in the development of their intelligence. (Cohen, G. D. (2005). The mature mind: The positive power of the aging brain. Basic Books.)

David Solie, in Unlocking the Communication Code of Seniors, states that developmental stages in life are characterized by sets of oppositional tasks that need to be completed so the individual can move on to the next stage. These tasks are the drivers of personality growth, the internal engine that propels a person forward. These stages and their tasks are well documented in children and teenagers. Their identification and impact on the development in old age has only recently been understood. When we fail to recognize the need to maintain control and identify legacy, Solie states, "Good advice may be rejected in favor of illogical or shortsighted choices because from a developmental perspective the need for control is greater than the need for medical, financial, or social correctness."

To schedule a free initial consultation, click here to find a time in our calendar!

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2022 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

In this episode, Michelle interviews Licensed Nursing Home Administrator, and Nursing Home Specialist with 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors, Emily Rogue, about how to choose a short-term skilled nursing rehabilitation facility.

Choosing a short-term skilled nursing rehabilitation facility can be daunting. Most people don't know how to find the right facility for their needs. It is important to choose a good rehab because your outcome is absolutely affected based on the quality of the therapy and care. How can we choose a facility that is going to help us achieve the best results? Emily offers us an overview.

Three key takeaways from this episode:

1. A skilled nursing rehabilitation facility and a nursing home are the same thing. Most facilities offer both long-term care and short-term rehab.
2. When choosing a short-term rehab facility, use the nursing home compare website to research performance data and outcome statistics to find reputable facilities.
3. Be prepared. If you need an unplanned rehab stay, it can be very difficult to start doing this research at that time. It is smart to have a plan just in case.

Links mentioned in the show:

Nursing Home Compare Website: https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/

Details for Livanta: Toll Free: (866) 815-5440

To schedule a free initial consultation with Emily Rogue, LNHA, click here to find a time in her calendar!

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2022 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

In this episode, Michelle interviews expert guest Jan Latorre-Stiller, the Executive Director of Cambridge Neighbors, a member of the Village to Village Network.

Cambridge Neighbors (CN) is a membership-driven organization helping adults living in Arlington, Belmont, Cambridge, Somerville, and Watertown Massachusetts stay in the homes and neighborhoods they love.

Three key takeaways from this episode:

1. Joining a Village in your area can offer you the support you need to stay in your home longer.
2. Services can include grocery shopping volunteers, volunteer tech support services, small household repairs, opportunities for connection and social engagement, and connections to well-vetted vendors.
3. At some point, people may need to explore assisted living or nursing facility options for when they need more support than a Village can provide.

Village to Village Network https://vtvnetwork.org/

Beacon Hill Village https://www.beaconhillvillage.org/

Cambridge Neighbors https://cambridgeneighbors.org/

Jan Latorre-Stiller, Executive Director Cambridge Neighbors, 545 Concord Avenue, Suite 104. Cambridge, MA 02138

For a free initial phone call with a Senior Care Consultant at 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors, click here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2022 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

What is adult family mediation? Join us on this episode where we welcome guest Halee Burg, an Affiliate Mediator with Elder Decisions®, a division of Agreement Resources, LLC.

Sometimes families get stuck. We can't agree and we don't know how to move forward. Adult family or elder mediation is an effective method of making difficult family decisions. Mediators are highly skilled, neutral, conflict resolution experts who do not provide advice or "take sides" but, instead, facilitate purposeful and directed conversations in which family members are encouraged to express their interests and concerns.

Three key takeaways from this episode:

First, mediation is one of the least adversarial methods to resolve disputes. It is a method of facilitated negotiation. There are other options, including arbitration and litigation, that leave the ultimate decision up to a third party.

Second, the process may not be a quick one. It is a future-orientated, problem-solving process. While this method is designed to be short-term, it doesn't necessarily mean a resolution will come quickly.

Third, mediation is not the same as therapy, but it can feel therapeutic. The goal of mediation is to come to a resolution with solutions and actionable plans for moving forward but the process itself often feels helpful and productive.

Agreement Resources, LLC - Adult Family and Elder Mediation

About Halee Burg:

A former practicing attorney who now focuses solely on mediation, to give back and help ensure broader access to mediation, Halee participates in community and court mediations through a number of greater Boston community mediation programs.

As an active member of the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation, the Academy of Professional Family Mediators, the National Association of Divorce Professionals, and the New England Association for Conflict Resolution, Halee continually expands her knowledge of the field, regularly participates in dialogues with colleagues about best practices and approaches, and develops relationships with professionals in related fields whose expertise helps support clients as they work to make informed decisions.

A graduate of the University of Rochester (BA, Psychology, summa cum laude) and the Boalt Hall School of Law at the University of California, Berkeley (J.D), Halee discovered she also enjoyed being on the other side of instruction, and regularly teaches adult education classes regarding divorce in Massachusetts.

When not helping people become unstuck, Halee keeps busy pursuing her other passions – photographing beautiful landscapes, getting lost in a good novel, traveling, cooking, golfing, or spending special time with friends and family.

If you have questions about this topic or other issues related to being in the sandwich generation, please email us at [email protected].

To schedule a free initial phone call with a Senior Care Consultant at 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors, click here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2022 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

Are you caring for a loved one at home and need some support but your loved one won't let anyone else provide their care? What can you do when only you will do? Join us this episode as we discuss some strategies for getting a loved one to accept outside support.

Three key takeaways from this episode:

First, get to the bottom of why only you will do. There may be many reasons why your loved one is resistant to outside care providers, some of which may be a tribute to how well you are caring for them. Is it pride? Financial concerns? Fear of change? Get to the heart of their hesitation and work towards overcoming those specific barriers.

Secondly, make a plan to "wade into the water." Starting off slowly and allowing a caregiver to take over just a few tasks and then increasing once a rapport is developed, has proven tremendously successful.

Finally, finding a good caregiver match (and a back-up or two) can make all the difference. If your loved one refuses outside support, it is possible you may have just not found the right caregiver. This isn't always easy, and circumstances are always changing which is one of the reasons why working with a trusted agency can be very helpful.

For a free initial phone call with a Senior Care Consultant at 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors, click here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2022 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

Have you promised your loved one you will never put them in a nursing home? People make promises like this all the time, that they have every intention to keep but may not be able to deliver upon. Keeping a loved one at home with in-home care is much more possible when you have a plan in place for if/when it may not work.

Aging in place at home requires some strategy and a plan for if it fails. You can promise you will do your best to keep your loved one at home as long as possible or you can ensure they are as comfortable as possible, but it's a bad idea to make specific promises. Join sandwiched adult daughters, Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers, along with Nursing Home Specialist, Emily Rogue, and Senior Care Consultant Kristine Callahan, on this episode where they discuss what to consider if you want to keep a loved one at home successfully.

Three key takeaways from this episode:

First, don't make promises you can't keep. If you have done your research and know that the financial resources are there to support in home care around the clock, and the home itself can support aging in place, then you can state with more certainty that the chances are very good they will be able to stay at home. Still any number of unforeseen things can occur which might make home not able to work.

Next, create your village. The job of keeping a loved one safe at home with home care can seem a bit like being the conductor of an orchestra. You need to make sure everything is happening at the time that it should and everyone is playing their part. Having dependable people and good systems in place makes a significant difference.

Third, just retain the knowledge that staying at home can be complex. Helping a loved one age in place at home usually requires as much planning as coordinating a transition into a care setting does. Many people assume that just because they never want to leave their home means that they will be able to manage to stay there - somehow. Planning for the contingencies, however, is the best way to ensure success.

For a free initial phone call with a Senior Care Consultant at 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors, click here.

Here is a link to the National Council on Aging to find resources in your area: https://www.ncoa.org/

Here is a link to find an Elder Law Attorney in your area: https://www.naela.org/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2022 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers

Choosing a nursing home is not something people want to do. It is a need-driven decision and a daunting one at that. Join Nursing Home Specialist, Emily Rogue, LNHA, and Senior Care Consultant, Michelle Woodbrey on this episode where they discuss what to do and what not to do when choosing a nursing home.

Avoiding nursing home care is among the most commonly expressed wishes of older Americans. After all, nursing homes are clinical settings, just a step below a hospital.

How should you go about choosing a nursing home for long-term care? In this episode, Emily clarifies what a nursing home is and how it differs from other care options. She explains what we can expect from a nursing home when a loved one goes to live there.

(*Emily discusses payer sources for nursing homes and we want to make sure listeners know that Long-Term Care Insurance is acceptable and is considered a private pay form of payment for nursing homes.)

We hope to empower people with information and knowledge to prevent going to a nursing home whenever possible. But knowing how to choose a nursing home, based on care performance, can make a huge difference not just in your satisfaction with the care but with your peace of mind as well.

The Nursing Home Compare Website www.nursinghomecompare.com through medicare.gov is a comprehensive database of information that should be utilized to analyze how well each facility is staffed and performing care responsibilities.

Emily Rogue, LNHA, offers virtual care consultation services for families looking for guidance in finding reputable nursing homes anywhere in the United States. If you are interested in learning if the 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors' Nursing Home Advisory Service would be helpful for you, you can schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation by clicking this link.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

More information at https://2sisters-sla.com/

© 2022 Michelle Woodbrey and Alyson Powers