Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we welcome back Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims; comics writers are basically supervillains; Cyclops is not here to have fun; Spider-Man flirts with objectivism; Murderworld is probably not financially sustainable; you should totally cosplay the Proletarian; Arcade may or may not secretly be the Archie Andrews of Earth-616; and Doctor Doom remains absolutely delightful.

X-Plained

Captain Britain

Arcade

Francisco Scaramanga

The vastly inferior Arcade of Earth-1610

Uncanny X-Men #123-124, 146-147, 197

Chris’s first X-Men

A really sweet truck

Spider-Man’s brief flirtation with objectivism

What the X-Men do on their night off

Hella nipples

Murderworld

Miss Locke

Mr. Chambers

Marvel comics in the Marvel Universe

A large number of elaborate deathtraps

Soviet Nick Fury

The Proletarian

Hostage-wrapping

Phil and Tobe

One way to celebrate your birthday

Avengers Arena

Miss Coriander

The best non-X Arcade stories

The end of Axis Sixis

Arcade at the Arcade

NEXT WEEK: Cloak and Dagger!

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Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!