Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we cover 21 issues in one episode; Secret Wars is a toy commercial; Jim Shooter’s X-Men are not the X-Men to which we are accustomed; Doctor Doom makes a surprisingly benevolent god; Secret Wars II is neither secret nor a war; The Beyonder learns to poop; and Boom-Boom is the best thing to come out of Secret Wars.

X-Plained:

Secret Wars

The not-particularly-secret origin of Secret Wars

Binary morality

Battleworld

The Wrecking Crew

Klaw

The Beyonder

Molecule Man

Doki-Doki Universe

Titania and Volcana

Zsaji

Secret Wars II

The Passion of Jim Shooter

Stewart Cadwall

What people do

Tie-ins

Pooping

What it means to be Spider-Man

Boom-Boom (Tabitha Smith)

The time a bunch of superheroes saved the universe by killing a baby

NEXT WEEK: Legion, with Si Spurrier!

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Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!