A 30 year old woman in a relationship with a man 12 years older now REALLY wants kids, but has some old demons to confront first...

I have a great love for listening to your call in shows with other listeners. I have recently thought of bringing to your attention some insight into my current life as I have many of the life experiences you like to discuss. I also struggle greatly with some childhood despair that I often speak through with my boyfriend and can now successfully understand and analyze thanks to the show. Listening to others who have gone through touches of similar experiences does greatly help.

I have become an extremely successful business owner in the last 5 years at the age of 30. I graduated high school early at the age for 16 at the near top of my class. I had been accepted into many top colleges but the fear off the immense student debt was unsettling as at that time my family was very poor. I am at this time in my life very thankful that I did not go into debt for go to college as my self created business has taken off. If it weren’t for government taxation I would be very rich - even so what is left still leaves me very financially comfortable.

I just turned 30 in March and have been in a loving relationship with my best friend for 8 years. We are 12 years apart and have been together since I turned 22 years old - he was only my 2nd relationship . The age difference for me was never an issue as my maturing was always way above my actual age. I look back and think that 22 and 34 at the time may have been a major age gap and unsettling to most but I am still thankful I made that decision. We got along from the moment we met. We are both attractive - i'm sure that did play a part. Our relationship hasn’t suffered many issues or fights (other than while I helped him kick his nicotine addiction but it was short) and we never doubted we would be together for the long haul -however we never discussed marriage and up to this point I don’t know that I minded.

That's when 30 hit - and I never believed much of this “wall” that woman hit until the day of my 30th birthday, or at least I didn’t think I would hit it. Some off this may stem from the people I am surrounded by being at minimum 10 years older than me I still felt and always feel very young. I have every physical item a person could desire ; Nice cars, fun outdoor toys, gold, diamonds , and credit cards with high limits (paid off) but I am still not happy. It seems the more I purchase the less happy I become.

I realize now that i'm quickly coming distressed over not being married, and not having children. This wasn’t even something up to this point that I felt I needed. My boyfriend also does not have children and neither of us have been married up too this point. When we discuss marriage I realize I am getting frustrated while he just claims that it will happen soon. When we talk children he consistently refers to his age and the fear of dying before his children are old enough too handle it. This at 42 is obviously a pretty non-factor however he has a fear of death on a daily basis.

I know that this would make for a very informative call in for young woman who like myself feel that success Is all in our financial or business outcomes. The only thing that would be an issue is due to the nature of my business I would have to do a call around 9-6 eastern time as most of my work is done in the evening. Even if it cannot be done it is some insight into some of the things you often speak of. Not that you need the validation but the wall is real for women, even though I still look 22 I feel 50 and I feel I have failed this life and we know there are not second chances.

I hope you find time to read this. Thank you for all you do - it has been helpful in my life.

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