In which Banshee should eat the rich; the real Monet is way more of a jerk than the fake one; the Marvel Universe is the world inside your brain-case; Maggott joins and quits Generation X at almost the speed of Sunfire; Dracula gives Chamber the D; and if Jay and Miles die in this episode, they die in real life.

X-PLAINED:

Dracula as a universal standard

Earth-441

Generation X #48-49

The missed potential of 13,000-year-old teenager Gaia

The Jay Faerber run of Generation X

Emma and Banshee’s forgotten X-friendship

That time that Moira ripped off Banshee’s skin and wore it like a Halloween costume (again)

Cordelia Frost, Emma’s younger sister

Adrienne Frost, Emma’s older sister

Interpersonal arguments by way of Asgardian combat scenarios

Jubilee, fox; versus M, scorpion

Alaska, moping capital of the Marvel Universe

Clever scene transitions

Constantine Francis Slaughter IV and his mustache

Puberty as body horror

Husk’s breakup haircut

Slug emulation

Generation X / Dracula Annual 1998

The Council of Cross-Time Draculas

Chamber’s goofy face

Vampire fonts

Jubilee’s bunny slippers

Charlie Brown in Snow Valley

Count von Count (again)

Monsters as class metaphor

What would happen if Synch synced with Legion

Who would pronounce Cable like Britta Perry pronounces bagel

NEXT EPISODE: Victor Von Doom X-Plains the X-Men.

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