Attachment and care are two different things, and mistaking one for the other can lead to chronic disappointment. When you have expectations about what someone should do, or how they should treat you to show you they care, your happiness is dependent on a fantasy. Are you afraid that if you don’t get what you want, your world will end? Focusing on what your partner does wrong and/or hoping you’ll feel better when they finally “get their act together” is not living in reality. And it’s not really considering their feelings; it’s more about how they can relieve your pain or create a momentary high that you THINK is love.

Being wrapped up in expectations and putting conditions around other people's actions makes it hard to live a fulfilling life. In this week’s episode I’ll talk about slowing down so you can pay attention to what’s happening in the present moment. This will take you out of fantasy land where you believe it’s someone else’s responsibility to earn your love. The solution is not finding the “right” person who will always do what you want and make you feel good. When you treat yourself how you want to be treated and let go of expectations, you create space for a loving, caring relationship that goes both ways.

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)

You can look like you care when you don’t see yourself clearly… but do you feel like you care? To love another you really should love yourself.