Some people think the best place to solve relationship issues is in bed. It feels intimate—a way to connect—but afterwards, are you really any closer? And do you ever find yourself picking fights with the goal of getting to make-up sex because it temporarily relieves your fear of abandonment? When sex is used as a way to manipulate others into sticking around, it’s not a path to emotional intimacy; it’s an obstacle. It’s a way to get lost in intensity so you can avoid your real feelings.

Sex can give you a sense of control, relieve your fear of rejection or temporarily make you believe your relationship is healthy. But it doesn’t last, and it isn’t real. When sex is used as a tool, emotional suffering goes right along with it. In this week’s podcast we’ll look at honesty as the solution. It’s an opportunity to ask yourself why you fight, distance or separate from your partner to create the need for make-up sex… and what you get from it. When you allow yourself to be open and honest with your feelings instead of jumping in the sack, you’ll start to experience what TRUE intimacy is.

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)

Awareness of your pattern will cut the cheap sex through emotionally risky action in favor of real connection.