Labeling someone as a narcissist (or dysfunctional or whatever) often comes from a place of pain and lack. They hurt you, so you want to feel superior, but blaming them for the way they are and the way they treat you doesn’t boost your self-worth. It may temporarily feel good, but that puts you in the position of victim, and victimhood is powerless.

In this week’s podcast we’ll look at how to let go of the idea that they’re a monster and you’re their victim. “Diagnosing” them gives you a sense of control, but you do yourself a disservice when you look for fault in others instead of taking responsibility for the decisions you make. It can feel crappy to admit you CHOSE this person, but it’s also empowering because that means you can make a different choice. You can make small, loving choices toward you.