Esencia

7. When Repair Isn’t Mutual: Loving Without Losing Yourself


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Welcome to Season 2 of Come With Me — a podcast devoted to the portals that initiate us into deeper love, wilder truth, and unapologetic embodiment.

In this opening episode, I share a deeply personal story of rupture with the woman who raised me — my Samoan grandmother — and the emotional reckoning that followed when repair wasn’t possible. This isn’t just a story about family; it’s a reflection on what happens when love remains… but safety, attunement, and accountability do not.

We explore:

  • The truth about repair (and why it’s rarely mutual)

  • How ancestral trauma shapes our nervous systems and intimacy patterns

  • The emotional progression from resentment to contempt

  • What it means to return to yourself when others can’t meet you

  • The difference between performative and embodied repair

  • And the radical self-leadership required to break generational cycles

    This episode is for those who’ve over-given, over-explained, and still felt unseen. For those navigating the grief of love without safety. For those ready to stop waiting for someone else to change… and start choosing themselves.

    You heal forward by healing back.

    And that healing begins in your body.

    Let’s stay connected:

    Instagram: @catrinaarmendariz
    Website: www.catrinaarmendariz.com
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    EsenciaBy Catrina Armendariz

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