Links & Resources:

- Work with Laura

- About Laura

- Subscribe to the Better Loving Substack

- Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Better Loving, Laura Ellen explores the shift from performative sexuality—shaped by validation, approval, and desirability—to mature sexual power rooted in self-connection, presence, and authenticity. Laura unpacks how performative patterns show up in subtle ways, including faking enjoyment, over-accommodating, or shaping desire around external response, and reflects on how these dynamics impact intimacy and self-worth. Through personal insight, reflection questions, and micro-practices, this episode invites listeners to relate to their sexuality as a source of inner authority and embodied confidence rather than something to prove or exchange.

Key Topics:

- Sexual maturity and inner authority

- Desire rooted in presence, not performance

- Sexual identity beyond validation

- Pleasure without agenda or outcome

- Erotic self-connection and dignity

- Authentic intimacy and mutuality

- Self-worth beyond desirability

- Non-transactional sexual relating

- Embodied confidence and relational clarity

- Healthy boundaries and conscious sexuality

Chapters & Time Stamps:

00:00 Introduction: The Power of Sexuality

00:40 Performative Sexuality vs. Mature Sexual Power

01:36 Understanding Performative Traps

08:20 Reflection Questions and Practices

11:46 Embracing Erotic Integrity

19:36 Final Thoughts and Invitation

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Links & Resources:

About Laura

Work with Laura

Subscribe to Substack

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:

Starting again isn’t triumphant for me, it’s tender, resistant, and quietly/very confronting. In this episode, I reflect on what it’s been like to return to public creation after three years of choosing privacy, growth, and a life lived largely off the internet. Responding to your AMA questions, I share why I stepped away, what I had to let go of, and how I’m learning to hold creativity, visibility, and integrity without self-abandonment. This is a conversation about shame, courage, and allowing ourselves to be seen again.

Key Topics:

- Resistance, fear, and desire when starting again

- Life beyond internet attention and external validation

- Why I stepped away — and what that time made possible

- Integrating growth through action, not just insight

- Holding both visibility and integrity as a therapist

- Reclaiming creativity without shame

- The courage it takes to be seen

Disclaimer

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Links & Resources:

Work with Laura

Subscribe to Substack

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:Cue that moment when you realise you might actually be the common denominator in your relationships. This episode dives into why we lose our power when we stay stuck in victim mentality, drama cycles, and blame, and how embracing radical self-responsibility and self-ownership can transform the way you relate to others. I explore the importance of healthy boundaries, secure attachment, and releasing anger and resentment, offering insights into how owning your 50% can unlock more empowered, authentic relationships across friends, family, money, and lovers.

Key Topics:

Victim mentality and its impact on personal power

Recognising drama cycles in relationships

Radical self-responsibility and self-ownership

Healthy relationships and secure attachment

Releasing anger and resentment

Setting and maintaining boundaries

Ending blame and reclaiming your power

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Links & Resources:

Work with Laura

Subscribe to Substack

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:

Sexual energy is more than something to discharge or “get over with.” In this episode, Laura explores sexual energy as a vital life force—one that can either deplete us or actively nourish our creativity, confidence, and capacity to take meaningful action. Drawing from embodied wisdom and reflective inquiry, this conversation invites listeners to become more conscious of how they relate to arousal, desire, and pleasure, and how that energy can be intentionally directed toward connection, self-trust, creative expression, and personal power. This episode is an invitation to relate to sexuality with greater awareness, agency, and depth.

Key Topics Covered:

Depletive sex versus nourishing sex

Sexual energy as a creative and life-enhancing force

Mindfully choosing where and how you invest your sexual energy

Sexuality beyond performance or release

Cultivating power, vitality, and embodied confidence

Using arousal as fuel for creativity, clarity, and bold action

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Links & Resources:

Work with Laura

Subscribe to Substack

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:

In this episode, we explore the question many people quietly live inside of: Should I stay, or should I go? Rather than offering a definitive answer, this conversation invites deeper self-responsibility around indecision, ambivalence, and commitment in intimate relationships. We look at how lack of clarity erodes connection, how toxic dynamics are co-created, and what it actually takes to relate from a secure, conscious place. This episode supports listeners to slow down, ask better questions, and discern whether they are choosing from fear, habit, or genuine devotion—before making life-altering relationship decisions.

Key Topics Covered:

Conscious relating and secure attachment

Indecision, ambivalence, and the cost of not choosing

Toxic relationship dynamics and shared responsibility

Devotional love, commitment, and emotional maturity

Conflict, blame, and drama cycles

Trying to change your partner vs accepting reality

Compromise vs self-abandonment

Consenting vs accommodating

Knowing when to stay, when to leave, and how to tell the difference

Breakup realities and relational discernment

Better questions to ask yourself before ending (or deepening) a relationship

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Links & Resources:

Work with Laura

Subscribe to Substack

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:

This episode explores what it really takes to move beyond performative sexuality and into a sex life—and sense of self—that feels authentic, embodied, and fulfilling. We look at how body confidence, anxious attachment, shame, and inherited sexual narratives can quietly shape how we show up in intimacy, often keeping us disconnected from our power and desire. Through honest reflection and practical insight, this conversation invites listeners to reclaim their sexuality as a place of agency, self-trust, and self-discovery—where sex works for you, not against you, and where being fully yourself is no longer negotiable.

Key Topics Covered:

Body confidence and sexual self-trust

Anxious attachment and how it shows up in intimacy

Releasing shame-based sexual conditioning

Moving out of fear and into personal power

Authentic self-expression in relationships and sex

Intentional, pleasure-led sexuality

Accessing deeper, instinctual (primal) states safely

Courage, rejection, and self-ownership

Sexual fulfillment beyond external validation

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Links & Resources:

Work with Laura

Subscribe to Substack

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:

In this episode of the Better Loving podcast, Laura Ellen is joined by Rebecca Bee Gunson for a grounded and honest conversation about the heart as a central pathway to intimacy, integrity, and embodied aliveness. Together, they explore how social conditioning, relational harm, and the misuse of sexuality can lead to emotional shutdown—and what it takes to gently restore trust, pleasure, and connection within the body. This episode speaks to the courage required to remain open-hearted, to feel and hold love without collapsing or over-functioning, and to cultivate intimacy that is rooted in respect, agency, and emotional maturity.

Key Topics Explored:

Healing the heart after relational and cultural wounding

Heart de-armouring and its role in intimacy and embodiment

The relationship between emotional openness and sexual vitality

Integrity, consent, and responsibility in intimate relationships

The courage and resilience of the feminine heart

Social and cultural factors that contribute to emotional shutdown

Developing the capacity to feel and hold love in the body

Power dynamics, manipulation, and the misuse of sexuality

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Links & Resources:

Work with Laura

Subscribe to Substack

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:In this episode of The Better Loving Podcast, I explore how self-pleasure can be a transformative practice beyond simply achieving orgasm. We dive into intentional ways to cultivate sexual energy, heal and resource your pelvis, and reclaim sovereignty over your pleasure. I discuss how nurturing your sexual energy can enhance your creativity, radiance, and overall capacity to thrive in your body, relationships, and life. This episode is for anyone curious about harnessing self-pleasure as a tool for feminine thriving, energetic vitality, and attracting sexually compatible partners, all while fostering deeper self-love and emotional connection.

Key Topics Covered:

Self-pleasure beyond orgasm: intentional practices for transformation and healing

Cultivating sexual energy as vitality and creative power

Awareness and healing of the base and sacral energies

Unpacking shame, pain, and conditioning in the pelvis

Mechanics of intentional self-pleasure and radical energetic practices

Using sexual energy to cultivate radiance, love, and connection

Strong self-pleasure as a foundation for high sexual standards

Maintaining sovereignty over your pleasure and sexual energy

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Links & Resources:

Work with Laura

Subscribe to Substack

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.

Episode Summary:In this episode, I explore the lingering effects of sexual shame and the cultural messages that have long tried to define and confine women. I share my own journey of confronting uncomfortable and painful experiences with sexuality, unpack where sexual shame comes from, how it shows up in our bodies and relationships, and ways to reclaim confidence and pleasure. This episode is for women ready to break free from cultural stigma, step into their authentic sensuality, and live more fully and fearlessly.

Key Topics Covered:

Personal experiences with sexual shame and discomfort

Origins of sexual shame in culture and history

How sexual shame manifests in the body and mind

The impact of shame on relationships and self-expression

Practical ways to release shame and reconnect with authentic sexuality

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

Buckle up, baby! In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Podcast I'm doing a Q&A answering a series of questions submitted over on my Instagram.

Topics include:

• Healing from heartache
• Opening to casual sex & dating after a long-term relationship
• Testing & self-sabotaging in relationship
• Navigating different libidos in relationships
• Why you're obsessively looking for affection when single
• Should you choose your gut instinct or the voice in your head?
• How to choose from a place of abundance rather than fear.
• Mindset shifts for dating
• Life milestones & turning 30

And so much more.

Search for The Sexual Wellness Podcast on your favourite podcasting app or click the link in my bio to listen.

Work with Laura Ellen:
Book a connection call: https://calendly.com/lauraellen/discovery
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Sensual Sex: www.laura-ellen.com/ss-mailing-list
Lingam Loving: www.laura-ellen.com/lingam-loving

YUM RETREAT:
Wānaka 17th-21st Sept.
www.laura-ellen.com/yum


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