Links & Resources:

Work with Laura: https://laura-ellen.com/contact

About Laura: https://laura-ellen.com/about

Subscribe to Substack: https://substack.com/@bylauraellen?

Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7CQmZy8qRGBKGAaUcBCRXw

Episode Summary:

This episode explores the often unspoken reality of pain, numbness, and pressure in women’s sexual experiences. Drawing on clinical insight and research, including findings from OMGYes that one in four women experience pain during sex, I speak to the layers of shame, bracing, and self-judgement that many women carry behind closed doors. We unpack the psychodynamics and somatics of painful sex, including overwhelm, lack of safety, medical trauma, post-birth changes, heartbreak, and disembodiment. This conversation offers practical and compassionate tools for creating sexual contexts grounded in safety, attunement, and responsive desire. Designed with female bodies in mind, this episode will also support partners who want to better understand the pace and conditions that allow pleasure to unfold organically.

Key Topics Covered:

The prevalence of pain during sex and the impact on confidence and self-worth

Shame, bracing, freezing, and fawning in intimate moments

The nervous system responses that can shape sexual experiences

Medical trauma, post-birth changes, heartbreak, and disembodiment

Responsive desire and the importance of attuned, female-centered touch

Creating safety as the foundation for genuine pleasure

Practical tools for building a sexual context that supports your body

Supporting a partner with patience, attunement, and care

Disclaimer

This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected].

© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe