After a two-week vacation, the Vallottons are back with an insightful episode on what to do in marriage emergencies. In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies, they dive deep into what truly constitutes an "emergency" in a marriage relationship. Whether it's the utterance of "I'm done" from one or both partners, the toxic presence of the Four Horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling), or severe issues like infidelity and addiction, they explore the signs and solutions. If you're feeling the weight of unresolved conflicts, avoiding emotional and physical connection, or dealing with major mistrust, this episode is for you.

Key Points:

1. Identifying an Emergency:
   • One or both partners saying, “I’m done.”
   • Presence of the Four Horsemen: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
   • Unresolved conflicts leading to bitterness and hopelessness.
   • Avoiding emotional and physical connection.
   • Infidelity and addiction.
   • Major mistrust.
2. Steps to Take During a Relationship Emergency:
   • Don't Try to Solve It Alone:
     • Reach out to a counselor.
     • Seek support from friends.
     • Trust someone more than yourself.
   • Developing a Real Plan:
     • Emergencies require real plans and a willingness to adhere to them.
     • Avoid making plans without accountability. Who’s on your team?
     • Ensure your plans are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound), not fluid or subjective.
   • Establishing Boundaries:
     • Understand what boundaries look like in marriage and how they are not “controlling.”
     • Discuss when separation might be appropriate and helpful.
   • Communicating with Your Kids:
     • What to tell your kids and when to share it.
3. Common Mistakes Couples Make:
   • Trying to fix a marriage when they’re really burned out.
   • Unwillingness to take ownership of their part.
   • Reluctance to try again after previous efforts have failed.

Takeaways:

• Understanding what constitutes a relationship emergency is crucial for timely intervention.
• Seeking external help and creating accountable, structured plans are vital steps.
• Setting and respecting boundaries can prevent further damage and facilitate healing.
• Communicating appropriately with children can mitigate their emotional burden.
• Avoiding common pitfalls can pave the way for more effective solutions and renewed efforts in saving the relationship.

Tune in to gain insights and practical advice on navigating these challenging times in your relationship. Don't miss out on expert guidance and supportive strategies to help you through your relationship emergenci

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