Conflict is an inevitable part of committed relationships, marriages, partnerships, or even in our relationships with family and friends. Yet many of us avoid it. We don’t know how to properly open ourselves to conflict, let alone handle it properly. But conflict, when managed constructively, can be a source of growth and connection between all disagreeing parties involved. We need to understand and cultivate the tools we can use to transform conflict into a constructive experience.

 

Today, I discuss what makes conflict healthy, how to foster it, and how we can benefit from it. I describe how parents can better manage conflict with their teenagers as well as the role of intent in resolving disagreements. I share communication tools you can use to get through disagreements and arguments. I also explain why we shouldn’t aim to win an argument and instead aim to gain insight into ourselves and understand our partners.

 

“The goal of healthy conflict is to get understanding for your relationship to grow, for more intimacy, for more closeness.” - Pripo Teplitsky

 

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

• The need for good communication skills to alleviate conflict in relationships
• Why we shouldn’t aim to win an argument with our partners
• How emotional availability can help us move through conflict
• The primary goal of conflict
• How to transform relationship conflicts into something constructive
• The role of mindfulness and intention in resolving relationship conflicts
• How to better manage conflict between parents and teenagers
• My wife’s conflict with her mother and how she let go of the power struggle
• Why it’s wise to choose our battles
• How my wife and I resolved a conflict and how we benefitted from it
• How conflict resolution can make people closer to each other
• What makes conflicts between couples unhealthy?
• The causes of aggression and violence during conflict and their physiological effects
• The “four horsemen of the apocalypse” in a relationship
• How collaboration and compromise can turn a conflict situation around
• The importance of understanding each others’ triggers

 

Related Content:

• The Art of Listening
• Stonewalling: the Silent Treat That Blocks Communication
• Generosity: Contemplating How We Show Up in Our Relationships
• Emotional Availability in Relationships

 

Let’s Talk About It!

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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk