A Better Love with Dr. Greg Matos

Join Dr. Greg for a recorded live show of A Better Love with Dr. Greg on TikTok! The show aired last night at 8 pm PST. 

It's brought to you by viewers and listeners like you, who have donated to support our mission. Thank you to our advocates: Mariana, Jennifer Dix-Geddie, Melanie Pastores, Elizabeth Henson / Sustaining Supporters: Natasha Haricombe, Brielle Maxwell.

If you want to join these amazing folks and make a donation to this 501c3 media company, go to Patreon.com/abetterloveproject after the show. Gifts like roses during the show help sustain our project. Muito Obrigado para tudo.

Let’s talk about the skills necessary to navigate narcissism. 

In all things on this show, we talk about first attending to ourselves. So I’ll ask you, if you’re listening to this right now and have been told by one or more people, that you’re egocentric, self-absorbed, defensive, and maybe even contemptuous, I’ve got an amazing skill that will help you reach your fullest potential.

It’s called accepting influence and adoring your partner like yourself, loving them as you would want to be loved. This might sound scary, but especially if you’re a heterosexual man, your well-being and relationship satisfaction will actually increase when you are more accepting of your partner’s influence.

This may seem impossible if you or someone out there has a more rigid version of this in terms of a personality disorder. 

1 in 200 people, 75% of men can display narcissistic traits/relational patterns that ride to the level of a disorder, meaning it’s negatively impacting several spheres of their life including social relationships.

That’s. .5% of the population. Instead, I want to talk about two topics: self-esteem and emotional connection. 

So what about the other 99.5% of people in relationships who aren’t narcissists but lack the skills to truly emotionally connect, to truly adore our partner, to be open to their feedback, to their needs and desires, and see these desires as valid as our own.

Incorporating a simple ritual of emotional connection where everyone gets heard and validated routinely, is a great way to practice seeking understanding and validating. The SRC is one example of this.

More on the episode: answering live questions from the show! 

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Welcome back to A Better Love, I'm your host, Dr. Greg, today we're diving into step-parent relationships across families with children and just the beginning of the conversation about integrating family systems and doing the best you can.

If you're new to the podcast, I'm Dr. Greg, a board-certified couple and family psychologist, and the full-time content creator @abetterloveproject. Today's episode is sponsored by one of our founding sponsors, Molly. Thank you to Molly for your generosity and for this episode.

Let’s first name the players on stage, the possibilities are endless but may begin with two biological parents and one or two step-parents oh, we're in the words of one of our other donors mentioned, a bonus mom or dad.  I appreciate that sentiment. And then the child or children across these 2-4 adults.

From the vantage point of biological parents introducing new people into the family system, I’d suggest being deliberate, supportive, and nurturing healthy relationships across the system. That can begin with when you first introduce a new woman or man to your kids, deciding for yourself, the pace that happens, the meaning you build around this new emotional connection for your kids, and their involvement with normal daily activities that are involved in parenting for serious relationships.

From the perspective of communication between biological parents and a new step-mom or step-dad, aspirationally we’d love for there to be great communication and support there, particularly if your children are younger. The new person can be seen as a force multiplier, another member of the greater team supporting your kid’s growth.

And from the vantage point of a child, it’s important to see all the adults playing nicely with one another in the sandbox. Where else do our children learn what is possible in adult relationships, if not by watching us live our life? Their developing minds crave consistency, emotional support, a sense of safety, and belongingness, all these things can be nurtured in a new version of the family system with step-parents.

I understand that it’s difficult to make this a reality in our lives. Many families struggle with disagreements around parenting, antagonism between the three primary players, and negative impacts on children’s mental health abound. Let’s talk about three specific tips you can try to start off on the right foot as new adults are joining the family system:

1. Be patient with yourself and your family, creating a new family system that is healthy is more like a marathon, a long-term investment. 
2. Maintain communication with your partner about adjustment challenges, validate and support each other through any growing pains.
3. Parent together, this is an ongoing experiment and dialogue about parenting norms, house rules, etc. that we hope is relatively consistent amongst all adults involved.

If you’re a step-parent who is experiencing ongoing conflict-related to family system adjustment challenges, consider reaching out to a local family therapist or psychologist who can help the entire system do a better job.

We’ll continue to talk about parenting and family systems as we develop our web series later this year. If you have specific relationship science you’d like to help share with the world, I hope you’ll consider joining our current 26 donors as a sponsor of the show.

Go to patreon.com/abetterloveproject to donate $20/month or more and help sustain our full-time content creation at A Better Love Project, Inc. We’re a 501c3 nonprofit media company in California, run by a combat veteran, and committed to 4 years of producing high-quality video content to help millions of families across America.

I’m Dr. Greg, until next time, love each other fiercely.   

New background music added from:
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Join Dr. Greg and Dr. Kate Balestrieri to talk about online dating safety and catfishing, what you should consider before meeting IRL.

It's a privilege to have Dr. Kate to speak with on this topic, she's a psychologist and certified sex therapist who is reaching millions of people with awesome sex education and support for their relationships.

If "catfishing" is a new term for you, go check out MTV’s Catfish at 8 pm Wednesdays. A catfish is someone who steals someone else’s online photos and impersonates them to develop romantic relationships with people online, on TikTok, other social media, dating apps, and dating sites.

To connect with Dr. Kate, visit her on TikTok and elsewhere @drkatebalestrieri.

If you want to support our nonprofit mission to share science-based relationship advice for free, please consider becoming a member: https://www.patreon.com/abetterloveproject. Your tax-deductible donation will help us launch the production of a new web series on sexual development for parents and teens.

Today's episode was brought to you by our first sponsor, Kendra Johnson. Thank you.

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Join Dr. Greg for a sneak peek into the extra 5-10 minutes you'll get when you support the show with a $10/mo donation. To learn more, visit https://www.patreon.com/abetterloveproject.

On this one-time sneak peek episode:
1. A listener's love story about an 8-month storm in a 43-year love.
2. The % of bids that masters effectively respond to.
3. Ways you can keep this mission moving forward.

To each and every one of you who has downloaded this podcast once, I appreciate every moment of time you shared with me. For our supporters, here are stats about the growing reach of our show so you can get as excited about A Better Love Project as I am : ) 

Our podcast is 8-months old and our 70 episodes have been downloaded 4,180 times in the following places:

Top Listener Countries:
US, Canada, UK, Portugal

Top Listener States:
California
Wisconsin
Florida
Michigan
Missouri
Indiana
New York
Texas

Please share this podcast with someone you love to support our mission : )

Dr. Greg

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Join Dr. Greg for this short conversation about disorganized attachment style, what most often leads to its development and general recommendations for couples navigating high conflict in their life right now.

On the episode:
1. What is disorganized attachment style?
2. What environmental factors contribute to its development?
3. What you might consider doing.

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If you enjoy our show, please consider donating to sponsor it. I'm a full-time content creator at a nonprofit that's funded by your charity. Those who donate become members with exclusive benefits, including bonus podcasts, live workshops, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/abetterloveproject.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your generosity. ❤️

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Ladies and gentlemen, I want to start with my sincerest gratitude for your ears and attention. each of you who listens to this podcast has made an investment and themselves, their relationships, their friendships, and family.

And you are not only in California but all across this country and around the world. Wisconsin, Florida, Michigan, Canada, the UK, and Portugal. Our fastest-growing audience on YouTube is from India, followed by Indonesia, Vietnam, and the Philippines.

I want you to know that I see you and from the bottom of my heart, appreciate your support.

I'll be headed to LA for the next 4 months and look forward to meeting fellow creators in the City of Angels. My goal is to hire freelance videographers to help produce our two web series soon and hope to meet awesome people. If you’re in the LA area and you’re a creator excited by our mission, DM me on TikTok or Instagram, let’s chat.

Friday, I sit down with superstar Sex Therapist Dr. Kate Balestrieri of Modern Intimacy in LA/Miami. We’re talking about online dating safety and what you need to know to avoid all things catfishing. 

Just yesterday, we premiered our conversation with Dr. Kate King on massage in long-term relationships and its importance in our older years. Make sure to listen to that episode and watch show clips on YouTube @abetterloveproject.

And congrats to my friends who are celebrating their 26th wedding anniversary, your story is a hopeful one : )

Support our show with a tax-deductible donation to A Better Love Project or help us sustain the project by becoming a member: https://www.patreon.com/abetterloveproject.

Support the show

Join Dr. Greg and Dr. Kate King, co-host of the Noble Mind podcast and Geropsychology Concentration Director at William James College. Dr. Kate is also a licensed massage therapist and talks to us about the power of touch in romantic relationships, including non-demand touch like massage.

On the episode:
1. The importance of touch throughout our lifespan.
2. Partner Massage
3. Specific Techniques to Try

You can connect with Dr. Kate King here: https://drkateking.com

Your generosity makes this show possible. Please consider a tax-deductible donation to sustain our mission: https://donorbox.org/abetterloveproject-annual-fund. 

To make an ongoing donation, become a sustaining member and get exclusive content, workshops, and more: https://www.patreon.com/abetterloveproject.

A Better Love Project, Inc. is a tax-exempt 501c3 media organization. Your support shares science-based relationship advice and support with couples and families who need it most.

Support the show

Join Dr. Greg to discuss healthy boundaries after a physically abusive relationship and thoughts on co-parenting with a formerly abusing ex-partner.

On this episode:

1. Safety
2. Setting Boundaries
3. Seeking Mental Health Support

Bottom line: Unwanted touch of any kind is not something we want to tolerate in our relationships and homes. After a divorce, you can create a safe home environment for you and your child with these firm boundaries.

This is the last in our 3-part series on divorce for now. There are many other issues that people can face after a divorce, like:

- Depression, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress
- Estrangement, Co-parenting Conflict, and Issues with Child Support
- Periods of housing or financial instability

Your generosity makes this show possible. Please consider a tax-deductible donation to sustain our mission: https://donorbox.org/abetterloveproject-annual-fund.

To make an ongoing donation, become a sustaining member and get exclusive content, workshops, and more: https://www.patreon.com/abetterloveproject.

A Better Love Project, Inc. is a tax-exempt 501c3 media organization. Your support shares science-based relationship advice and support with couples and families who need it most.

Support the show

Join Dr. Greg and matchmaker Jade Bianca to talk about dating after divorce, dating apps, and safe sex.

Dating after divorce can be a challenge or bliss depending on how the algorithms are treating you on dating apps. In this episode, we talk about dating app strategy, choosing an app, how many apps you should use at a time, and more.

We dive into “situationships”, consent, and safe sex. You don’t want to miss this 8-minute episode whether you’re dating or just want to be able to help a friend who is.

If you want to connect with Jade, you can find her on Instagram @dating_after_div. As always, you can send your relationship questions to me @abetterloveproject, and please, subscribe to our YouTube channel today! It would support the show a ton and help more people see it : )

Your generosity makes this show possible. Please consider a tax-deductible donation to sustain our mission: https://donorbox.org/abetterloveproject-annual-fund.

To make an ongoing donation, become a sustaining member and get exclusive content, workshops, and more: https://www.patreon.com/abetterloveproject.

A Better Love Project, Inc. is a tax-exempt 501c3 media organization. Your support shares science-based relationship advice and support with couples and families who need it most.

Support the show

Dive into a 3-part series on divorce and separation with Dr. Greg, a board-certified couple and family psychologist.

On today's episode:
1. Seeking support and expert advice.
2. Acknowledging stress and managing it like a wave.
3. Defining the kind of practical connection you can maintain with your spouse (especially for co-parenting).

Send your divorce questions to Dr. Greg @abetterloveproject on TikTok/Instagram or drop a comment on this video.

Your generosity makes this show possible. Please consider a tax-deductible donation to sustain our mission: https://donorbox.org/abetterloveproject-annual-fund.

To make an ongoing donation, become a sustaining member and get exclusive content, workshops, and more: https://www.patreon.com/abetterloveproject.

A Better Love Project, Inc. is a tax-exempt 501c3 media organization. Your support shares science-based relationship advice and support with couples and families who need it most.

Support the show