A Jaded Gay

Previously, we discussed the complicated relationship gay men have with alcohol, which is shaped by diverse factors such as social acceptance, coping with discrimination, and navigating the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and substance use.

In this episode, writer and lawyer Tate Barkley joins us to talk about his new book, Sunday Dinners, Moonshine and Men, detailing a Southern boy’s story of coming to terms with his sexuality while surviving in a good ole boys’ world.

Additional Resources:

• 56. LGBTQ+ Alcoholism
• Shop Sunday Dinners, Moonshine and Men (Amazon)
• Shop Sunday Dinners, Moonshine and Men (Bookshop.org)
• Learn More About Tate

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Previously, we talked about how many gay men have grappled with the fear of rejection, which can result in struggling with intimacy, attachment, and emotional availability. This can often be interconnected with trust issues, as past experiences of feeling abandoned or rejected can lead to difficulties in fully trusting others in future relationships.

In this episode, we’re taking a look at what trust issues are, their profound impact on gay men, and how we can foster authentic connections and rebuild trust in both ourselves and others.

Additional Resources:

• 47. Say Goodbye to Abandonment Issues
• Trust Issues Definition (Urban Dictionary)
• Signs of Trust Issues
• Trust Issues: Why Is It So Hard for Some People to Trust?
• 15. Understanding Attachment Styles
• Trust Issues
• How to Cope When Trusting Is a Challenge
• The State of Personal Trust
• Understanding the Trust-Control Nexus
• 13 Signs of Trust Issues & How to Get Over Them
• 42. Are You Emotionally Unavailable‪?‬
• Why You May Have Trust Issues and How to Overcome Them
• How to Fix Trust Issues in a Relationship
• How to Deal With Trust Issues
• Why is it so Difficult for Some Gay Men to Find a Partner?

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The stereotype of brunch being gay has emerged as a playful nod to the LGBTQ+ community's affinity for this leisurely meal. But, upon deeper examination, the history of brunch has always been a bit controversial, breaking away from conventional standards.

In this episode, we're discussing the history of brunch and why it’s become a cherished tradition within queer culture, serving as a safe space for self-expression, connection, and a delicious way to challenge societal norms.

Additional Resources:

• Brunch (Merriam-Webster)
• Brunch (Urban Dictionary)
• The History of Brunch
• Why Gay Men Love to Brunch
• Is Brunch "Gay"? Twitter Debates
• Brunch Has Always Been Queer
• The Extraordinary Rise of Drag Brunch: A Dining Delight or a Betrayal of Queer History?
• 63. The Stonewall Riots
• 49. Let's Shatter the LGBTQ+ Wage Gap
• A Brief (and Depressing) History of LGBT Workers’ Rights
• UPDATED Report: Drag Events Faced More than 160 Protests and Significant Threats Since Early 2022
• Anti-Drag Legislation Is Sweeping the Nation: Here's Where Each State Stands on Drag Bans
• Petition: Don't Mess with Drag
• Why Gay Brunch Matters

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Previously, we discussed the complicated relationship gay men have with alcohol, which is shaped by diverse factors such as social acceptance, coping with discrimination, and navigating the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and substance use.

In this episode, writer, director, and filmmaker Adam Fitzgerald joins us to talk about his new book, Recovering from Recovery, which explores his journey away from rhetoric and advice he experienced in Alcoholics Anonymous, which seemed to judge and stigmatize his sexuality.

Additional Resources:

• 56. LGBTQ+ Alcoholism
• Buy Recovering from Recovery
• Adam Fitzgerald (Instagram)
• Adam Fitzgerald (TikTok)
• Adam Fitzgerald (Twitter)

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Grief is frequently associated with the LGBTQ+ experience, from fearing rejection to dealing with hate and living in constant terror of being in danger. While any form of grief is both a universal and personal experience necessary to cope with loss, the complexities of queer grief can lead to isolation, mental health challenges, and the suppression of one's authentic self.

In this episode, we’re delving into the intersection of disenfranchised grief and queer grief, its unique impact on LGBTQ+ people, and how undergoing a second adolescence can serve as a transformative path towards healing, self-discovery, and reclaiming authentic identities in the face of loss and societal challenges.

Additional Resources:

• Grief - American Psychological Association
• Grief - Cleveland Clinic
• What is Grief?
• The Five Stages of Grief
• Honoring Queer Grief
• Why Queer People Need to Talk About Disenfranchised Grief
• Disenfranchised Grief in Queer Companionship and Chosen Family
• LGBT Identification in U.S. Ticks Up to 7.1%
• The Grief in Queer Healing
• The Second Adolescence of LGBTQ+ Adulthood

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We’ve all experienced grief, that tender ache that lingers in our hearts following a loss. While the experience of coping with loss is crucial to our emotional well-being, it is also complex since it creates an intricate landscape where sorrow, resilience, and the transformative power of healing coexist.

In this episode, we’re exploring the multifaceted nature of grief, its symptoms, and the various stages of grief to help us better understand the coping mechanisms needed to truly honor our loss, embrace healing, and find joy amidst the pain.

Additional Resources:

• Grief - American Psychological Association
• Grief - Cleveland Clinic
• What is Grief?
• The Five Stages of Grief

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For decades, the phrase “That’s So Gay” has been tossed around carelessly to refer to things that are bad or undesirable. While many consider it a simple playground put down, it is actually a microaggression that perpetuates stereotypes and fosters a culture of exclusion.

In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of the phrase “That’s So Gay,” its harmful implications, and how we can encourage others to reflect on their language choices to promote a more inclusive and accepting society.

Additional Resources:

• 23. Let's Talk About the F Word
• The History of the Word "Gay"
• That's So Gay (Urban Dictionary)
• Think Before You Speak Campaign
• Why is it OK to Say "That's So Gay?"
• "That's So Gay" is Just So Wrong
• The 2021 National School Climate Survey (Executive Summary)
• The 2021 National School Climate Survey (Full Report)
• HRC Foundation’s Welcoming Schools
• What Do You Say to “That’s So Gay” and Other Anti-LGBTQ Comments?
• What Do You Say to ‘That’s So Gay’ & Other Anti-LGBTQ+ Comments? (Resources)

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In the early stages of dating, it’s normal to feel butterflies and maybe even experience infatuation. But the intoxicating allure of infatuation can grip our hearts and minds, which may result in overwhelming emotions and blurring the line between reality and fantasy.

In this episode, we’re unraveling the distinction between infatuation and love by examining the characteristics and pitfalls of infatuation that set it apart from genuine, lasting affection.

Additional Resources:

• 42. Are You Emotionally Unavailable?
• Infatuation (Merriam-Webster)
• Infatuation (Cambridge Dictionary)
• Infatuation Versus Love: How Different Are They?
• 6 Causes of Infatuation
• Infatuation vs. Love: How To Tell If You're Just Infatuated
• What is the Real Difference Between Love and Infatuation?
• What's the Difference Between Love and Infatuation?
• How to Overcome an Infatuation
• Emotionally Unavailable: What It Means, Signs, & What to Do About It

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Recently, conservatives have used the unrestricted exercise of religious freedom and freedom of speech to promote discriminatory beliefs and harmful ideologies that perpetuate prejudice and undermine the rights and dignity of LGBTQ+ people. On Friday, June 30, 2023, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the First Amendment entitles some business owners to refuse same-sex wedding work, which is a staggering blow to LGBTQ+ equality.

In this episode, we’re discussing the Supreme Court’s recent decision regarding 303 Creative LLC v. Elenis and the possible ramifications this conservative ruling may have on the ongoing fight for LGBTQ+ equality.

Additional Resources:

• 303 Creative LLC v. Elenis
• 303 Creative LLC v. Elenis (American Bar Association)
• Alliance Defending Freedom
• Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission
• 46. Obergefell v. Hodges and the Ongoing Fight for Marriage Equality
• Supreme Court Says 1st Amendment Entitles Web Designer to Refuse Same-Sex Wedding Work
• Samuel Alito 'Joked' About Black Kids Wearing KKK Robes During Oral Arguments
• Do Most Americans Oppose Supreme Court LGBTQ Ruling? It Depends on the Poll.
• Gallup LGBTQ+ Rights Poll
• Freedom of Speech and LGBT Rights: Americans’ Views of Issues in Supreme Court Case
• Data for Progress Poll
• Legitimacy of ‘Customer’ in Supreme Court Gay Rights Case Raises Ethical and Legal Flags
• The Mysterious Case of the Fake Gay Marriage Website, the Real Straight Man, and the Supreme Court
• The Man Named in the Supreme Court’s Gay Rights Ruling Says He Didn’t Request a Wedding Website
• The 19th Explains: Why the Respect for Marriage Act Doesn’t Codify Same-Sex Marriage Rights
• Congress: Pass the Equality Act

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While most gay dating apps aim to connect LGBTQ+ people with their community, it can still be challenging to make genuine connections which can lead to feelings of loneliness and rejection. The reality is most gay dating apps are outdated with limited features, lacking inclusivity, and they haven’t adapted to evolving user needs and preferences–until now.

In this episode, Michael Kaye, Director of Brand Marketing & Communications at Archer, joins us to discuss a new, innovative dating app, which offers a unique and inclusive space for queer men to connect, explore their identities, and build meaningful relationships.

Additional Resources:

• Sign up for Archer!
• Archer (Instagram)
• Archer (TikTok)
• Michael Kaye (Instagram)

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