I originally wanted to do an episode on my perfect season of the bachelor/the bachelorette yet but I think I need to meditate on that for a bit but as I was thinking about that I was thinking about how the best reality show would be college aged and even college kids but how thats never going to happen because most college kids are worried about their reputations anyways the first show I came up with was

Rivals I think about American values and how important football teams are to people here and how cool a show could be like if the couple went to rival schools and that dynamic I don’t know maybe they’d meet at a bowl game or spring break I thought a spring break house reality show would be amazing also

Then I was thinking about the Sex Lives of college girls and how its going to inspire college themed shows and how it really hones in on the first year of school and stepping out of your comfort zone personally I did a summer program before my first year which really opened me to college life and it was intertwined with orientation week

I feel like “disoriented” could be a show about college orientation and it could go many angles many different ways I could see it going American vandal pretty little liars with a crime being committed or someone like dying at college orientation and seeing how that plays out like a who done it type thing or it could be similar like there’s one event but each episode is from a different orientation group even though they all become entangled when they meet

I don’t know I feel like it could be really cool! Ive been really anticipating euphorias second season so lets think of some high school aged shows

I would love an HBO rendition of high school musical the musical series I think it would be amazing something very aesthetically pleasing generation type beat with each person fully fleshed out the musical in question would be more culturally adept if that makes sense like up to date modern less little kid more stoners inner relationships with in the drama department a teacher with a weird quirk that could be problematic potentially leading to imprisonment it could be called role call or something I think it would be good!

I know there is a show called the inbetweeners but how cool would it be if there was a show in high school about the people that border the main popularity like the people in the same classes with the popular kids the same extracurriculars but they aren’t on the in they are constantly trying to write their way into their lives (similar to dan in gossip girl) and the show focusses on the inbetweeners instead of the popular kids you have teachers trying to make them realize the popular kids don’t matter and you have the unpopular kids who view them as superior when all they feel is weird it sounds kind of boring but there’s something there awkward type beat

Reality show of people called escaping capitalism people trying to live off the grid find alternative jobs that allow them to have more free time to create and live I think it could be filmed like survivor or escaping amish super dramatic I think I would be into it

To catch a predator racist, colorist, fatphobic style I think it would expose a lot of toxic behaviors and make people realize what specifically women with these features feel when approaching people in a sexual light

My thoughts on the Okbaby Break-up | Misogyny and Teen Parents on Youtube

I think in the first episode of this podcast I discussed my obsession with family bloggers as a teenager I think it stemmed from my childhood issues and I wanted to know the tea about taking care of kids because I was a babysitter and childcare assistant

The first family I really watched after shaytards was ok baby and I want to say that as an adult I think all of these families are so fucked up and I don’t watch family channels at all anymore because I think the whole premise is completely fucked up

But I do retain a lot of useless information so I was really taken back by the comments on okbabys break up video

This is all speculation

Their relationship was so toxic and in my opinion Oscar created a lot of chaos for Kyras life

He would get over vlogging and editing and it would be tossed over to her even though she had her own business, her own channel and also took a lot of care of the kids

Oscar would get really into his hobbies and put the kids off onto babysitters instead of taking care of them

He was just overall careless constantly getting injured injuring the kids because of his negligence and causing a lot of emotional distress to kyra

I think back to when kyra accidentally had that instagram live of them fighting and how their relationship has been toxic from the start or also how I heard a clip about how the two didn’t even enjoy spending time with each other? It was just really odd

I feel like since they were teen parents they never really had time to grow up and realize what they actually wanted in a relationship or partner

I think back to when they moved to Utah and robert and winter moved in with them or when kyla lived with them for a few years they never wanted to be alone I think this could also Be because they moved to Utah and there really wasnt anyone else there for them to be around but then I stop and think how much of all of that was solely for content?

It also seems like Oscar has some skewed viewpoints in my life it seemed like he forced a lot of things on Levi at younger ages maybe to create independence but also so they could spend more time together he’s very overbearing in a sense in the way that he treated Kyras emotional issues and anxiety like when he would force her to step out of her comfort zone and things like that I feel like that could become taxing on a person

The comments were like poor Oscar kyra is so over the realtionship but wouldn’t you be over it too?

Hes kind of a man child and I think kyra has her faults too but she was just more mature in comparison and it seemed like she actually cared about having a career she started the channel had her solo channel created a brand like I feel like she made a lot of motherly sacrifices when Oscar was just kind of figuring his self out with no real responsibilities

Like the traditional gender roles were switched but he didn’t really do his

I think this shows that their audience is mostly children because he’s not an amazing parent in my eyes he is just physically present like the bar is so low he treated her like shit they were never really compatible on that level they both had different desires

And the comment that irks me the most is the vasectomy comment because even I know that he didn’t want anymore babies she didn’t “force” him to get a vasectomy she wanted to have more kids its not healthy for her to do but I think she knew that if the relationship ended she would want to pursue them in the future I think its wack that people are saying that and there is a lot of misogyny in this situation and how people are viewing it

#teamkyra

spite succeeding and selfishness

I am an awful person

Everything I do is with spite in mind

Ive always believed that almost everyone I have ever met, talked to, had a relationship with hated me or doesn’t properly see who I am so when they wrong me and I have a chance to escape that relationship or hold they may have on me everything I do after is in spite

And its toxic but its fuel

I don’t wish those who wronged me any harm or a lack of success I actually wish the opposite but I always have this feeling of wanting to level up and somehow show them that what they thought about me was wrong and that I can achieve anything I set my mind to

I just feel like there is something in my spite fueled motivation that is inherently negative and wrong that makes me an awful person

Its like kill them with kindness but also exhibit psychotic behaviors I blame capitalism because what I mean by succeeding is so corporate ladder, like the success part is stupid and doesn’t matter

Capitalism when I catch you….. fuck you!!!!!!

narcissism

I get so scared that I am a narcissist because I have no one else around me and I find myself constantly worrying about myself and comparing myself to others or putting myself in their situation it just seems so selfish and narrow minded I really hope I can change and make sure I am just not a narcissist lol

being a kid is no one listening to you

I realized while at home that being a kid is no one listening to you your parents imagine you as a child or teenager and constantly see themselves as smarter than you and that you are somehow still their accessory

When constructive criticism is given from a child to a parent it’s immediately disregarded

There are many things my parents didn’t teach me growing up that I see them doing to my brother as well and when I try to fix those behaviors I don’t know how to make it seen as not overbearing, not rude, and how I can try to explain that their lack of negligence negatively impacted me

Its not an attack on my parents everyone has flaws but they have so much they are preoccupied with but they were careless as parents and it allowed me to lack an understanding of a multitude of things

But im not a kid anymore and I think these criticisms are life changing….

I want a space I can truly customize

Like a trailer or a tiny home where I can just create and paint the walls and change light fixtures and just do what I want to do I don’t want to flip something so I can sell it I want like a she shed growing up I loved to make things super quickly paint and but them on the wall like I covered my walls at 13 with one direction posters and at 16 with paintings getting back into painting and trying to find hobbies has been so amazing for me I look forward to the weekends

My mom got me a candle maker for Christmas and I think its the best gift ive ever received its not about the money she spent on it its that she knew I would enjoy it I always tell people I love to make candles but I had never really made one I just took my old candles burned them down and layered the scents and colors into new candles which was fun but this tool will really enhance my candle making and I am so excited

Capitalism really breaks us and makes us feel like having hobbies that don’t create income is a waste of time but what else is time for if not to waste it?

Hobbies are so important doing things because you like to do them

When you add that money piece things become less fun

Who ever said capitalism was fun

Ive even able to work from and will for the rest of the month and I am taking advantage with it for my new job because I work 45 minutes away

Every day ive worked from home around 2 I get so unmotivated