Kate’s been out dancing the night away again and Jacqueline got THE facial. An inexplicable pimple’s origin. Motor Mouth in the Chair, Celsius in the Mouth. Was it… the umbilical all along? The hags don’t claim to be the experts. Low-level zinging is occurring. Wedding confusion is cleared up and eating before bed finally addressed. Whose water bottle is truly larger? Matcha Americano Style, Propolis, Deep Chocolate, and people as trophies.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Solemn Affair

Wellness is a trillion-dollar industry full of scams and snake oil salesmen but comedians and best friends Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak just can’t get enough. Join them as they try products and practices, consult healers and experts, and ask the ultimate question: is it truly wellness they’re after or just the thrill of the chase?

Comedy

Alternative Health

Health

Health & Fitness

Sorry, what’s your name? Grinning in a movie theatre bathroom stall, and weeping in the car watching NASA Live. Fascination at the ‘close friends’ of the ultra-famous. Is it Baudrillard or Baudelaire? Applauding celestial bodies and researching kettles. Toothless and tea-less, we need the real moon again. A scratched pan for which no one is to blame and suspicion over a missing spatula. Kate is neglecting the neck and chopping tiny. Texting the Healer’s wife, Jacqueline’s eyebrows are fully f*cking lifted. It’s called stepping into the reality of your life!
Sincerely Begging For: Goop Kitchen, Graza
Brands Mentioned: Lyma, Great Jones, Caraway
Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Moon in Your House

Presented with a porous board and sepsis for everyone we've ever met. Suffer not one exception. What is it about 4:10pm on a Friday? A return to herbs and bank culture. The unitard is not sweaty, it’s completely soaked. The dream of Hag Serum and the chore of good TV. Planes are where you do what cannot be done on earth. Upsetting evidence against good habits when the walk doesn’t take. Jacqueline massages her face, Kate sees the sunset and draws the blinds. Getting Max-ed and manicured the Russian way. Confusion at kids buying PDFs. Philosophically good, aesthetically great. The God you don’t believe in... I don’t believe in that God either. It’s time to integrate the shadow. That’s exactly the vibe!
Earnestly Begging For: Hurom, Almond Cow
Brands Mentioned: Purity Vodka, Catbird, KitchenAid, Caraway, Erewhon
Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Evil Poog

A low dose of adderall and the unexamined life… I’m listening! Kate is asked to explain what POOG is, while Jacqueline’s zealousness is often mistaken for sarcasm. The cord is not the problem, but the annuals aren’t what they used to be. No flashlight in the eye, nor in the ear. Who’d want a girl like that to get sick? Water for wellness and the perfect protein. The presence of Eggo Waffles and Raisin Bran, when the family doesn’t integrate the gifted lifestyle change. Jacqueline dreams of a room for celery and Kate never forgets God. Revelling in the honeymoon phase of new products, and contemplating the tenability of daily juicing. It’s always a woman.  
Brands mentioned: Perfect Amino, Magic Mind, HigherDOSE, Charlotte Tilbury, Caraway, Pendulum 
Begging for: NIRA Pro Anti-Aging Laser, Hurom, OneSkin, Aesop Sublime Replenishing Night Masque & Blue Chamomile Facial Hydrating Masque, and a reup of Dr. Diamond and LYMA serum and cream See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Just a Life

Attacking the face with hydrafacials and the velvety sleep that can only come from action thrillers. Jacqueline naps like a soldier and Kate waits for two açai bowls that never come. The wide flavor of banana is recalled, while a gentle beat causes confusion. Sitting side-by-side at Jar... something is different about the lychee-tini. How did the nose not hit the door? Practicing astral projection and preparing for a work meeting while on a work call. When’s the last time you had cherry garcia? ‘We have to leave in 30 minutes’ = ‘We don’t have to leave now’. No one has to be worried for Kate Berlant. Meat Festival is on the third Saturday of every month. 
Brands mentioned: HigherDose, Charlotte Tilbury, OGEE, Lyma, Siete, Soom, Magic Mind
Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stewing Separately

Lying in repose and sailing through the air. Preparing for the bleed and the implications of resetting a room. Are oysters just vessels for vinegar? Woman's Stomach Swells, Chris is sent out for Diet Coke. Pump it out, or get it out! The JAR menu is studied ahead of a monumental dinner. All according to plan... Kate is an Academy Awards Attendee and Jacqueline is calling Banana Republic. Lifting weights while watching the Bachelor, and dreams that held paradigms that could not follow through to conscious life. Shoes for who you are, shoes for who you want to be... I can’t live like this! The POOG water bottle is large and of high quality—don’t doubt our merch. 
Brands mentioned: Magic Mind, Fatty15. Hatch, Lyma, Banana Republic & Marion Parke
 
Edited by Adam Wand; Produced by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Solemn Affair

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