The hags are at a crossroads when it comes to brewing tea. To see a three-inch text, be touched by it, then be swept in the current of life. A read receipts reveal. Four serums, but who was the hero? Jacqueline drafts an auto-reply. Kate sees herself in the face of coin. Beetlejuice on a vision board? For lack of a better word…yeah. Don’t get your neck adjusted. The rise of subtle before and afters. To order out of pocket and have something waiting downstairs. The results of the dermaplaning have equalized. Drinking Cortados since long before it became…Trenley. Kate has a new favorite skin tint spf serum she saves the reveal for the premium feed.

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Produced and Edited by: Annie Bernstein

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Music by: Naomi McPherson

Construction paper, doilies, hearts drawn with varying depths of cleavage. Empty restaurants on Wednesday evenings. The Grove at closing time. A life in the arts rejects the calendar in favor of Valentine’s dinner on the 15th. The High School self misrepresented. Thespians, athletes, badges, and cut grass. Dating advice cannot save you, but have your fun hunting it down. Boom.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp

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Agamemnon cries in the margins of The Odyssey. Honored to fear nature, the glacier melts in a time-lapse. Alka-Seltzer’s effervescence. Still waiting on Koia to send pallets. Would you rather a rickety bridge or a narrow beam across a deep ravine?

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Produced and Edited by: Annie Bernstein

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NOTE: This episode was recorded before the devastating fires in Los Angeles began. Looking for a way to directly support those affected by the LA fires? Visit this link.

A huge clock in every room changes everything. Virgin as an adjective, not waiting for seed. Reading is the only thing—it’s all that’s left—and it’s sitting there, waiting. Is there any value in a human producing sense? Dreams are more real than reality. A delivery robot named Esau delivers Elmo to a chimp. Jacqueline frees Kate to book the flight a day out. 

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NOTE: This episode was recorded before the devastating fires in Los Angeles began. Looking for a way to directly support those affected by the LA fires? Visit this link. 

Sitting with a friend with a book and a finger. Kate and Jacqueline approach all books with the spirit of divination and discover the new Tarot. Only receive color analyses at the Hollywood Farmer’s Market. Eyes crossed toward the third eye, arranging words like furniture. Dropped into a bathtub in 1987—their hands prune—soaking in Hagline poetry. 

List of words:

-Double, mother, receiver, impression, wish, future, symbols, reflection, attainment, limitation, surprise

-Sometimes, pertaining, company, lengthwise, through, related to, first, furniture, supposed, everywhere, tomorrow, transmit

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/HAGS and get on your way to being your best self.

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Produced and Edited by: Annie Bernstein

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NOTE: This episode was recorded before the devastating fires in Los Angeles began. Looking for a way to directly support those affected by the LA fires? Visit this link. 

When Rocket Money fails to flag eight years of Masterclass. A healer suggests quitting caffeine. Maybe it was decaf the whole time? It’s not your hip; it’s your back. Recalling a flannel robe that needn’t be plaid. Little, magical budgets. Mirepoix cooked over a blender's engine. The good ones are called dump recipes. Throwing money at the jaw.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/HAGS and get on your way to being your best self. 

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Decision making is violent. You have to murder the other options. Consequences do not inspire us, but passion, urgency, interest, challenge and novelty do. Jacqueline brings along a novel planner she’s testing and Kate goes rabid for it. To make peace with finite time…again?  Marlton romance and the discovery of the Bowery’s history. Some clay figures purged then carried back from the trash. Looking at other people’s journal entries on reddit. Check out the Hag Shop for several referenced items.

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Clucking in the Hen House. It’s New Year’s Eve, a loaded time for many, if you forget there are endless ways to throw away your life without throwing away your life. Exit the the prison of potential. To only keep the listener company, wouldn’t this be enough.

p.s. eager to go to costco with lavaliers

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Jacqueline and Kate are remote and eager to make their homes an environment where Christmas can thrive — but how? Clutter abounds. Coffee and chocolate is needed. The joy of the holiday persists, despite its intrinsic darkness.

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The Christmas episode.

🎄CLICK TO SHOP THE XMAS HAG SHOP! Yes, it's here. Built during this week's episode, this store is a Santa sack of wonders bursting at the seams. ✨ Hit refresh regularly—items are being added as fast as the hosts can remember things they like.🛍️Shop now. 

🎭 HAGS ASSEMBLE! Follow this show now, rate, and review—share your love for Berlant and Novak's podcasting through the years and your excitement for the new show ✨. Help launch the free feed! 🎧 Since all reviews were lost to the old RSS feed, Premium subscribers, we need your follows, ratings, and raves here too.

🎭 PREMIUM: Don't sleep on Premium subscriptions where all episodes are currently live, and you get bonus episodes, video, and more.

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Produced and Edited by: Annie Bernstein

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Music by: Naomi McPherson