It’s almost eerie what you can act yourself into. Jacqueline is sourcing Christmas for comfort and Kate is experimenting with corkage fees. An update on the cruel barista drives Kate and Jacqueline to revisit role-play, as eavesdroppers weigh in. A 4pm ‘Matcha & Myss’ is considered and the healing archetype of Larry David is called upon. Avoidance drives Kate to act out purchasing a pie, as a heart is carved into the ankle. Another ghost at another hotel — energy hygiene now. Scientology style.

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What am I bringing back out of the trash? Jacqueline frees Kate from ADHD paralysis, as countless hacks are shared. A hamper in every room! Running down the clock and days spent in parking lots. A leaning tower of pants and folding within reason. Revisiting Kate’s ‘bad phone’ — or ‘correspondence’ — system. DIY desk-making has always been huge for Jacqueline. Chugging water with a hand up in the air: morning module!

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While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

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This week, we’re taking free feeders behind the paywall, and over to Paris. Jacqueline and Kate found themselves in the city of love at the same time, last spring… and it was incredible. This episode was heard first by our Premium Subscribers, as part of the monthly bonus recordings Kate and Jacqueline record for them. If you want to get monthly bonus episodes along with other perks, head over to http://berlantnovak.supercast.com to become a subscriber.

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While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

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In this special recording from the Berlant & Novak vault, Kate suffers chimney sweep-induced TMJ flare. What to do when the line goes dead and the mailbox is full? It’s a dirty job. A jaw dislodged and the practice of refunding, examined. Free soot-foot photos, a corner cobweb, and a rage that shakes. Cleaner Gary didn’t lie: soot is the most difficult thing to get out. Jacqueline’s view on bad reviews is unveiled. The Hags are called to listen, not act… let our community not spread more soot, but instead seek to sweep it.

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at [email protected]

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

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Is it a three or four-broom hotel? Memories of Kate’s first Ritz and the dread of lobby coffee. Hags are always welcome at Jacqueline's Copper Inn. Is that a BJ stain on the performance velvet couch? A tough Ludlow and what to do when the cleaner walks in on you naked. Kate makes a call to the front desk after a disturbing night in Bend, Oregon… He’s God fearin’. 

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at [email protected]

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

The ads team greatly appreciates you flagging these ads so they can identify advertisers who are gaming the system.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Mister Cabbage, it’s me. Jacqueline’s honest answer elicits laughter from a school psychologist & an attic tutor rewards Kate with candy. Childhood photos and the formative experience of shopping with a peer. Student council and film club. Framing a child? When Jacqueline was a candle maker and Kate went to The Price Is Right. The 13-year-old period fear that still lingers, and the life phases reviewed. 

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at [email protected]

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

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Let’s start with the goal, right? Eclipse season looms large, as Kate and Jacqueline meet eyes under the studio lights. A search for meaning around some light symptoms inspires a Novak analysis. Caroline Myss graces Hag ears as Jacqueline bemoans Kate not submitting to this recommendation earlier. The ego wants to call even when there is no question. Male healers are remembered for their unorthodox tools and middling results. When the phone dies, birds are singing. Amid the reckoning of generic Wellbutrin, a new ADD method is born. Deviated septum nose job culture and a boyfriend in medical school — act now or die!

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at [email protected]

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

The ads team greatly appreciates you flagging these ads so they can identify advertisers who are gaming the system.

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It’s never personal, except for when it is. In studio this week, where Jacqueline’s headache is quelled with Kate’s purse pills. At hag homes, small rooms get big beds. Kate’s ass is on a pillow and her legs are against the wall. Hags must beware a tight neck. When the barista harbors a personal grudge and top hats stay hidden. Complementary schismogenesis means the martini tastes better if it was made just for you? Read a book, earn a book.

Edited and mixed by Allie Graham

Music by Naomi McPherson

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at [email protected]

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

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Glory when someone submits to your recommendation. Jacqueline and Kate revisit the hardest acting challenge: surprise. The Hags’ second ever guest breaks in unexpectedly much like a tiger into a church, and childhood memories of vomit re-examined. Jacqueline was cabinet maker before she was ever a standup comedian. And Uncle Fester meant more than you know to Kate. Sometimes the art is too good and other times civic rage drives one to use big words poorly. In other news, Kate is starting pre-med and Jacqueline’s becoming a trial lawyer. It's always and therefore never too late. 

Edited and mixed by Allie Graham

Music by Naomi McPherson

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at [email protected]

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

The ads team greatly appreciates you flagging these ads so they can identify advertisers who are gaming the system.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Kate and Jacqueline analyze what made a man on Twitter say such a nasty thing. The hags reflect on the indecency of Pop Crave and the courage it takes to feel ugly next to beautiful women. Jacqueline recounts interactions with trolls and Kate considers starting a Serial-esque podcast to get closure. Some of these men have dogs — daughters, even. Ultimately, this is the abstraction of violence — but the Hags wonder whether Daniel was just fulfilling his sacred contract to Kate. The walking brain is different and if you post about Tom Cruise he will see it.

Edited and mixed by Allie Graham

Music by Naomi McPherson

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If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at [email protected]

While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.

The ads team greatly appreciates you flagging these ads so they can identify advertisers who are gaming the system.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.