Kristina has problems. Lots and lots of problems. Next level problems. And Lucky knows. Poor Lucky. Unlucky Lucky. Fingers crossed Elizabeth is okay. And maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing if Rik made it too. Will one of them wake up with a brand new personality? That's always fun. Maybe Elizabeth could wake up thinking she's Ava. Two Avas! And Rik could wake up thinking he's Sonny. Two Sonnys! Hey, it's a soap opera. Let's get soapy!

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Ava had Sonny right where she wanted him, but probably lucky for her he didn't die. Although, as far as Kristina is concerned, Ava's guilty anyway. Of everything. Kristina is guilty of being entirely unpleasant. So is Lulu. On the other hand, Curtis is hanging with Tracy and Stella! The tea party we didn't know we needed! And Barney pays a visit to Sonny and Jason. Oh wait--that's Brick in a big, purple suit! How is no one teasing him? Then Sonny says he wants to go to Toronto?! Jason is surrounded by clowns!

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Potentially interesting development--Portia and Nina joining forces. Fingers crossed they can bring down that smug bastard Drew before he somehow makes Willow even more vapid. Although it would be great if Willow could see Drew for what he really is and extract herself from those huge hands. And Carly certainly is getting yelled at a lot for someone who almost died. But can anyone change her mind? One couple both Gia and Keisha feel good about? Elizabeth and Lucky. Just two good people who really know each other. And happen to have a child who looks older than both of them. Plus, a shout out to Lucas for clicking with just about everyone. Also, Gia and Keisha talk about capsule wardrobes. Again. Something they really have no business discussing.

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Chase is in the loop! And he seems to be taking his anger out on Lulu, which works for Gia and Keisha! Brook Lynn is taking her anger out on Lois, and that works for Gia and Keisha too! Now, Brennan and Carly. Not really working. Joss and her WSB trainer? Also not working. Sonny and Laura? Sort of working as friends again, but maybe Laura should hold off on celebrating Sonny's personal growth. And will Valentin be allowed to live? Maybe he can share a cell with Nikolas? Plus, wasn't it cute watching Ava order a beer? That will never happen again. And someone get Willow some therapy!

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So Carly and Jack hit the sheets, and Gia and Keisha were more excited by the promise of cake at Trina's surprise party. Although the cake was too small. Terrible mistake! Plus, it's looking like stopping by Brennan's might have been a terrible mistake for Carly, and not just because they're short on chemistry. Valentin doesn't seem to be too broken up about poisoning the wrong person, does he? Maybe every spy just gets used to making a certain amount of mistakes. Anna seems to have made plenty and still manages to sleep at night. Meanwhile, back at the Quartermaine mansion, Brook Lynn has decided to tell Chase the truth about her baby. Will this turn out to be a mistake? Let's hope not. 

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Brook Lynn vs Gloria?!! Not fair! Lois. Shame on you. For reasons that aren't entirely clear sometimes. And poor Chase, looking so forlorn in his towel. Will he and Brook Lynn survive the news that they have been living with her baby for months? And why isn't Gio practicing his violin somewhere in the background of all of this drama? Meanwhile, Charlotte is back in Lulu's life! Poor Rocco is always going to be playing second fiddle to Charlotte. And what is the deal with Willow? She could use some Neuriva. And a Drewectomy. Plus, Lucas is going to wake up with quite a hangover, maybe (probably) more. Or less.

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Brook Lynn vs Lulu--are there any winners in this battle? Some fine emoting, but still wishing we could fast forward to the part where everyone in the house is weeping. Which would make Kleenex the winner? And very exciting to see Buenos Aires! Looks a bit like Spoon Island? Plus, let's face it, the only way Anna is successfully springing Charlotte is if Valentin has already decided to hand her off. Jason should be aware of her shortcomings. Maybe he is. Of course he is. So Charlotte will be back in Port Charles! Which Charlotte will it be? Loving daughter? Diabolical robot? Either way--exciting! Now, Jordan and Isaiah--exciting? Shouldn't it be? Gia and Keisha did find the idea of spaghetti exciting, so that's something. And what does Sidwell have in store for Alexis? Why hasn't anyone sent out the memo to all of the women of Port Charles that Sidwell is bad news? Also, probably best just to decline any invitations to Spoon Island, Alexis. It's no Buenos Aires.

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Where to begin. Well, Gia is crushed that Lucas let a little blackmail get between him and Brad. And she makes a pretty good case for Brad. Keisha is worried Brad will give in to bad impulses now. It is a soap opera. Who doesn't give in to bad impulses? Lulu? She's about to give in to very bad impulses. Portia? How far will she go to save her ass? Drew? Drew is a walking bad impulse. But maybe that's because he can't find a suit that fits? And it will be interesting to see how Portia evolves now that she's thrown in with the likes of Ava and Ric. Will Curtis even recognize her as the situation with Drew unfolds? Meanwhile, Maxie is still a delight and deserves a story of her own. Possibly involving Felicia, who also deserves more quality screentime. Also, Gia and Keisha talk quite a lot about pickles, so consider yourself warned.

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Bad men (and women) are popping up all over Port Charles, and Gia is all in. Keisha would prefer slightly less evil in town, although it is good to see characters like Curtis, Portia, Sasha, and Jordan standing up and showing some fight. But what exactly are Drew and Sidwell capable of? And Selena? And what will happen to Brad when word gets out that he double-crossed Portia? Yikes.

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Gia and Keisha are finding things to complain about. Again. Very sorry! Just wishing the writers would care as much as the viewers do about little things like time and space. But if you're a fan of sweaters, General Hospital is firing on all cylinders. And Drew and Jens are neck and neck for the creepiest man in Port Charles award, so that's pleasant. But on the positive side, Lucky is awake and had some lovely scenes with Lulu, Laura, Elizabeth, and Sonny! 

Also, for anyone interested in a podcast about a General Hospital and Ricky Gervais fan who makes a series of bad decisions, Keisha has a new podcast! It's called Ricky Gervais (robot?), and can be found on YouTube, Spotify, IHeartRadio, and other platforms. And Apple Podcasts very soon. Thank you!

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