A Table at the Tan-O: Conversations About the World of General Hospital

We're making progress, America, World, Portugal. Only Keisha is drinking tonight. But Gia is still waxing poetic about apples, so maybe progress isn't the right word. Both G and K think Lucky has the potential to be a very compelling character, but only if he can convince us he's older than Aiden. And that will be nearly impossible. Because Aiden looks like he's in his forties. Gia is feeling conflicted abut the pummeling Drew received. Keisha is not. Both agree Dante is awesome. And Cody is actually turning out to be quite a pleasant man, so good for him!

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America. World. Portugal. Gia and Keisha are not themselves. Or too much themselves. Or just too much. And tonight, thanks to another round of drinks (sure, blame it on the drinks), they are way too much. Gia talks about apples for ten minutes, for crying out loud. No one in Port Charles was eating an apple! And Keisha didn't seem to mind. If they don't police each other, this thing is going to drift into absurdity (yeah, yeah). But before they stopped trying, G and K did have nice things to say about Diane, Elizabeth, and Jason (when he was pounding Drew). So nice to see Drew get a good pounding. So nice. 

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So perhaps to mirror the recurring sloppiness of General Hospital, Gia and Keisha have decided to enjoy an adult beverage with tonight's discussion. And things unravel a bit. Not like Willow and Michael's marriage, but still not pretty. And how about that Willow? Naughty. And for what? That guy? Michael, mobilize Tracy and Cody to take that guy down! Meanwhile, Diane and Alexis may be throwing back a few like Gia and Keisha if they're not careful. And what's the deal with Anna and Jason? Maybe they should pop the cork on something and have a little fun.

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Oh dear. Willow, you seem to have a Drew in your pants. And Drew. Shame. On. You. Pretty soon the children will have to raise themselves at the Quartermaine compound. Their parents don't even seem to know what a nursery is for. And meanwhile the grieving continues. Sonny is doing his best to be a murderous mobster with a beautiful and tender side. Dante is adrift. Kristina and Molly, still kind of annoying. And P.S. Please, less Holly.

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General Hospital continues to impress! Gia and Keisha are all weepy and fragile, and it's harder to say mean things about Drew (harder, but not impossible) when wiping away tears. But he still sucks. Kudos to the kids for holding their own in every scene, and to Laura, Carly, and Alexis for flexing those mom muscles. Less impressive: Holly, Kristina, and Molly. Can these characters be saved? Let's hope!

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Wow. So maybe Gia and Keisha owe the writers an apology. Some great moments this week! Alexis and Jason made Sam's death feel like the loss it was. Gia and Keisha were so ragged from the sadness that they perhaps overshared. Meanwhile, over at the Quartermaine mansion, Drew was showing everyone exactly why he wouldn't be missed (and why wasn't he at the hospital?). Cody is the voice of truth we've all been waiting for, so he can't leave now. And Michael and Sasha or Cody and Willow are starting to look like a better idea than Willow and Michael. Also great this week: Tracy and Ned, Nina and Willow, Mac and Cody, Maxie and Cody, James and Cody. G and K have really come around on Cody!

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Heather is free! And she's the only one feeling that exclamation point. Not even Ace could bear to give her a proper hello. Will she become Sedona's problem? Could Port Charles be that lucky? Probably not. Maybe Steven could take Holly to Sedona instead? That would still equal one problem solved. And how much longer will Sam be around? Just long enough for everyone to believe she's going to be fine? Poor Dante. Poor Alexis. Poor Danny and Scout. Poor Laura and Rocco, who will understand the pain Sam's family is in. Not so poor Molly and Kristina, who have been reduced to characters who only acknowledge their own pain. And poor Sasha and Cody, who had a real shot at a soap opera rarity, a drama-free relationship. So close.

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Gia and Keisha are making an early appearance this midweek because Keisha is unavailable on Thursday, so welcome to Hospital Hump Day with Gia and Keisha! Also, Keisha has had some gin, so Gia is carrying this episode. But she only mentions Star Trek and Planet of the Apes once, which is a sign of personal growth. Both Gia and Keisha continue to find Portia unpleasant. Even when she's making a good point, and she does make a good point about Trina's safety perhaps not being considered as seriously as if she were a white woman. But somehow Portia always comes across as controlling more than compassionate. Meanwhile, both Curtis and Dex have decided talking tough is what the Heather situation calls for. So that's comforting. On the bright side, Gia and Keisha liked Ava's blouse. And Trina's dress. Also great to see the young adults again.

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Gia and Keisha are a little cranky. Could be age. Or awful storylines (mostly the Sasha Scorpio development). Probably both. And maybe also the age of the characters involved in the awful storylines. But there were some nice moments, beginning with the ageless Elizabeth and Lucky. And the appropriately aging Laura and Kevin. And the appealing to people of all ages Violet. Who wore down even Gia and Keisha. Of course, to offset the nice moments, Drew had to make an appearance. Probably killed him to see a tiny woman behaving like an actual hero. Violence is never the answer, but it would be wonderful to see Jason give that guy a knuckle sandwich one of these days. And now we wait. For Sasha's paternity test results and Lulu's surgery. Hopefully Sasha will be able to continue to date Cody, and not in a gross way. Fingers crossed!

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So it's mid-week housekeeping time on General Hospital, and Gia and Keisha are not impressed. Sam apparently was too busy diving for a gun and missed the memo that Lulu's situation was critical? Better late than never? And Holly just remembered she had a daughter with Robert? Yeesh. Gia and Keisha may be proof that Neuriva can't work miracles, but they would appreciate it of the GH writers gave them a little credit. Try harder, please. If not for them, then for the fine actors who deserve better.

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