Gia and Keisha are coming to you a day early because Gia is traveling to Montana tomorrow. Good luck, Montana! Now, the custody battle. The first casualty: Sasha. Poor Sasha. That baby had better be okay, or Jason, Michael, and anyone else interested in being a father to Sasha's baby will be coming down hard on Ric and whoever spilled Sasha's beans. Meanwhile, the whole Gio situation is still being processed at a high volume. Except for Sonny, who continues to be quite relaxed about everything. Also, does Emma have the skills to get what she needs on the professor without giving herself away? Let's hope so!

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It's getting loud in Port Charles! Perhaps a rule limiting the amount of shouting per episode to, say, five minutes? No? Worth a try. Brook Lynn's voice is sounding tired. Gloria's voice could peel paint. Even Rocco is loud. And no one needs to hear Lulu's voice. Kristina, Alexis, and Lucky are sounding a bit nutty, even mental. Sonny! Who knew Sonny's voice would become the most soothing? Wouldn't it be fun if Gio moved in with Grandpa Sonny? Next stop, the courtroom. Probably more yelling. Definitely more yelling. 

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Some great daytime drama in Port Charles! Now, Lois is catching a lot of flak for the decisions she made re: Gio, but Gia and Keisha are feeling a bit of sympathy for her. Of course, Lulu deserves every bit of criticism leveled at her. She's awful. Tracy and Ned get points for loveliness. As does Emma. Back squarely in the awful department: Drew. How did he manage to find a way to become so much worse?! So much. Pocketing Lila's ring. OMG. Run, Willow, run. Also, the new Michael seems to be working out, but it is early. And Kai and Trina are a very nice couple, but is that enough? And finally, where the hell is Charlotte?

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The votes are in, and the winner of best Nurse's Ball performance is----A tie? Gia liked(!) the children at the end. She hasn't been the same since she cut down on the drinking. And Keisha liked Trina and Joss (also their dresses). So, much like the Curtis vs. Portia debate, they have agreed (grudgingly) to disagree. Also, Michael is back! Well, someone answering to the name Michael has arrived and stolen Wiley (notice no one fought him on this). Plenty of soapy goodness (Gia's words) to look forward to this week! And Lulu owes Gio a new violin, right?

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Oh boy! Lots of action at the Nurse's Ball! And not all of it embarrassing! First, Nina was great on the red carpet. A real pro. Drew. Well, Drew. Best dressed? Gia and Keisha are in agreement! On that and not much else. Well, Lulu is terrible. They still agree about that. And Gio has some real acting chops! He's not just a pretty violinist! But, oh dear, so much pain. And then there's Alexis and Kristina. Talk about a handful. And Curtis and Portia. Is Curtis too rigid? Or is Portia not rigid enough? Gia and Keisha may never agree on that one. Also, where have all of those dancing nurses been hiding?

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Gia and Keisha may never like Lulu again. And Dante is on thin ice. Thin ice! Carly and Nina, well. Those two could be spokesmodels for Sonny's vulva gym. Almost too bad that Joss broke up the fight. And maybe they just need to get Drew in the ring and give him a good, old-fashioned pummeling? Also, can someone pick up the phone and call Michael? Or just send him a text? Now, what will Curtis do about Portia? Is she out after three strikes? Should she be? Finally, how amazing did Ava look in that blouse?! At the end of the day, maybe that's all that matters.

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Some stuff going on in Port Charles! At the risk of sounding like a broken record, Lulu and Dante are awful. We hope at least Dante can recover. Rocco is exhibiting some strength of character. Always nice to see in a young man. Of course, Drew has zero character. Sonny is growing as a character. Will he leave Sidwell for Laura, Jordan, and Anna to handle? Throw Joss in the mix, and they might be okay. Although Joss is down a friend now that she has betrayed Emma. Also, Carly is coming on a little strong re: Michael and Willow, and Willow, well, she's not strong enough. Oh, and this Sugarbush Harlequin business is never going to end. Very, very sorry.

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Dante! Try harder! Ditto, Lulu! Yeesh. Rocco would be better off being raised by wolves right now. And Tracy, what's your deal? Playing both sides all over town. Behave! Now, will Jason and Sasha figure out Drew thwarted Willow's plans to see Michael? Will Jason track down baby Gio for Tracy? Will Jason and Sonny get out of the mob and, what, coach little league? That could be cute. Also, what is Drew doing with a vial of something in his pocket?

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Well, Gia and Keisha are upset with Dante. And still Lulu, but mostly Dante right now. Poor Gio. Let's hope he can recover from this. Also, how fun are Rik and Ava skulking about town, spreading joy. Is Alexis going to snap? Plus Sonny seems to be making a remarkable recovery, as is Kai. Modern medicine, right? And there is a bit more talk about horses. And also badgers. And bunnies. Sorry. 

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Emotions are running high in Port Charles! But not high enough when it comes to Willow. She calmed right down. And Nina and Portia's plan unraveled in a hurry. Drew is going to destroy Portia. Will Lulu destroy Brook Lynn? Will Tracy destroy Lois? And will Rocco recover? Lots going on! Also, Gia talks about horses. And Keisha talks about scammers.

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