A Table at the Tan-O: Conversations About the World of General Hospital

The good news: Gia watched every episode this week. The bad news: she and Keisha plan to keep this podcast going until they die. The best news: Curtis is becoming quite a lovely man. The worst news--Marshall is scatting again! And in other news, Terry, Portia, Finn, and Elizabeth have had their personalities removed, but luckily Anna, Sonny, and Ava are still interesting. The jury is still out on Austin. Sasha and Cody could go either way. It would be great if Molly and TJ could be interesting. Oh, and Joss, Dex, and Adam--very interesting.

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If anyone out there gets a discount on Prevagen or Neuriva, Gia and Keisha could use a bottle of each stat! This probably isn't news. Just trying to set expectations. They did remember a few things. Olivia and Ned rolling around in the sand as if they'd just enjoyed a refreshing swim. Anna and Valentin using every available face muscle in the hospital stairwell, plus a few arm muscles (Anna). Charlotte doing some first class hospital bed acting. Spencer being so Spencer. Trina showing some real strength (and sass). Which brings us to today's episode. And this is where it gets awkward. Well, at least there wasn't a lot of wiener talk.

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Forget about the Metro Court pool--you can swim year round at Lake Quartermaine! But hiring a lifeguard wouldn't be a bad idea. Lots of interesting duos this week. From Lois lighting a fire under Eddie, which led to the magical water ballet starring Eddie and Olivia, to Sonny supporting gal pal Anna and helping Ava see the truth about Austin. Curtis worked out all kinds of things with his new friend Devon. Valentin and Nina continued to keep secrets. Sam and Dante might uncover those secrets. Stella and Felicia bonded. And Drew was forced to spend time with his daughter, which must have been hell for him.  

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It's Monday, and the word of the day is....dick? Well, we're not off to a classy start, but, let's face it, Port Charles does have some dicks. The dick of the day might be Valentin? As if he didn't know Anna might be packing?! Although, to be fair, she rarely manages to pull the trigger or hit her target. Still, Valentin kept the truth from Anna, and that sort of behavior is never rewarded on a soap opera. Of course, Laura also knew the Charlotte secret and said nothing. But she's Laura, and Laura is awesome. Also, Drew is loose again, which brings us back to the word of the day.

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Gia and Keisha are back. With a lot of ground to cover. But first, a heartfelt wish that Matthew Perry and Tyler Christopher are resting peacefully now. 

Back in Port Charles, Michael can't seem to decide if he's Jekyll or Hyde. Either way, he loses. Cyrus, on the other hand, is all Hyde. And Charlotte? It's not looking good. But Leo! Leo is all sweetness and light and brings out the best in everyone.  And Scotty is always good for a laugh. A shame about his pen. Much more to come next week. 

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Portia, Portia, Portia. Trina is old enough to make her own decisions but Curtis isn't? Nina, Nina, Nina. Dollar Store picture frames? Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. Stealing Scotty's pen? Laura, Laura, Laura. You're awesome. Never change.

Thinking of Lewiston, Maine. 

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How do you solve a problem like Diane, uh, and Robert? Well, send Robert packing? What's the point of creating a strong character if she doesn't get to stay strong? All Diane is getting for her troubles is a lesson in how weak a man can be. On the other hand, Dante is a delight. Thoughtful. Respectful. Watch and learn, Robert. And what happened to Anna? Sure she almost got shot, her house burned down, and her hotel room was ransacked, but still. Where's the sass? Pretty sure it will come back when she finds out what a dink Valentin is. She and Diane need to shake these boys loose. Yeesh.

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Thank you, Carly, for pulling the plug on what was already a weird and and troubling honeymoon(?). Shame on you, Nina. So hungry. Now if only Carly could do the same for Curtis and Portia. Shame on you, Portia. So....much like Nina? But in a refreshing change of pace, Laura, Felicia, Joss, Alexis, and even Tracy, for crying out loud, are not emotional vampires. They're out there getting it done. If Sonny needs any help taking care of this Cyrus fellow, he might want to consider calling these ladies.  

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Michael is all puffed up and fancy now. Because he knows. And now he has to decide who to tell first. How about Wiley? Then send him back to the island for a little quality time with his grandparents. Of course, Cyrus is loose in Port Charles now, and that is one creepy wrench thrown into a lot of plans. Maybe all of the plans. Sasha has the right idea. Let her go, Cody. You idiot. Hey, maybe she could head over to Nixon Falls and rebuild the Tan-O! Do it, Sasha. Do it for Gia and Keisha. 

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So Sonny owns a very tiny island where everything is made of styrofoam or resin. That's his knock off shoe money at work. Will he and Nina tie the knot? Or will Nina be strangled by a possessed necklace? Will Wiley stumble over her corpse and choke on a wedding ring? What's this flight home going to look like? Kevin and Laura got home just in time because Port Charles is going to need a couple of cool heads. Not just to sort out Charlotte. The whole Quartermaine household is a mess. Cyrus might be a free man soon. Ava is climbing the walls. Is there anyone in Port Charles who couldn't use a little time on the couch?

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