A Table at the Tan-O: Conversations About the World of General Hospital

It's Thursday night. Gia has had a beer, and Keisha has eaten eight chocolates. Adjust your expectations accordingly. They manage to stay on topic, more or less, giving a hearty round of applause to Elizabeth and Aiden for a thoughtful and inspirational scene. Robert, on the other hand, gets an emphatic thumbs down for taking Diane for granted right up until the moment he expects her to present him with a medal for wrestling out of his underwear for her. Run, Diane. Run. And there's no more entertaining drunk than Ava. Look out, Nina. Also, was the whole Pikeman thing a nothing burger (that was for you, Gia)? Points to Carly for showing everyone how to hit a moving target.

Happy Holidays, beloved listeners. 

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Gia is all fired up today! Possibly because she's binging Felicity and she has some concerns. Or maybe it's the Crestor. Regardless, she's full of energy (there's even some scatting). Keisha? Well, she's mostly (completely) consumed with worry that Leo will suffer if he's forced to do more scenes with that aggressively verbal, camera hog Violet. Don't let her get in your head, Leo! And both Gia and Keisha are wondering what's next for Esme. Don't let her get in your head, Esme! Plus, what is Carly going to do about this new guy who was only pretending to like her burgers? 

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Diane. For crying out loud. If you're going to settle, at least settle for someone who isn't always throwing your relationship with Sonny in your face (and would probably dislocate his shoulder if he tried to throw anything else). Dante. Doubting Anna? Does this mean we have to doubt Anna? Donna. Well, you're adorable, and you're hitting your lines like a star. Just be cool and follow Leo's example. Less is more, Donna. That's how you keep yourself in Metro Court dinners. 

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Will Anna and Valentin ever share a laugh or a bottle of wine again? Gia and Keisha fear they will not. Good to see Anna standing her ground, though. Disappointing to see Valentin's memory is as unreliable as Gia and Keisha's. Sad. Now, back at the Q's, Lois and Olivia are bringing the fun, Leo's got the sass, and Tracy has presents! Brook Lynn and Chase are off sharing the love (Violet. Please. Stop.). Seriously Finn, make her room a little less prison chic, and maybe she'll spend more time there. And G and K are kind of hoping to see Curtis grow even more as a character before he is miraculously healed. Or maybe he won't be? 

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America. World. Gia and Keisha actually do a pretty good job of staying on topic today. Marshall. Christmas trees. Curtis. Christmas trees. Finn. Christmas trees. Elizabeth. Christmas trees. Well, you get the picture. Fortunately, no actual trees were harmed during the filming of today's episode. And there was some nice snuggling between Spencer and Ace before Esme took off with the little fellow. And let's not forget Kristina and Blaze. Which was a bit more controversial than Gia and Keisha expected. They were shocked and disappointed by the outrage some viewers expressed. Alas, due to technical difficulties, they didn't get to ramble on for quite as long as usual. Consider it an early holiday gift. P.S. Please bring back Liesl before Scotty does something he'll regret.

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Friday and Monday in Port Charles were big on twosomes. Ava and Nina celebrated the return of the Polaroid picture (and, sadly, the departure of Austin). Ned and Lois talked numbers (mostly division). Carly served up a pretty ordinary burger to a guy who seemed too fancy to eat even a fancy burger. Joss and Carly tried to have an interesting conversation about Adam, but Drew had to insert himself and treat Carly to a much less interesting conversation mostly about himself (on the plus side, if he's leaving town Scout can ignore his plans for her). Also not interesting (yet), is Molly's quest to become a mother, which now looks possible thanks to Kristina. TJ no longer seems to hate Kristina, so that's good (right?). But Blaze really likes Kristina, so how will she feel about her having a baby with TJ (and Molly)? And Chase and Brook Lynn are engaged! Are we feeling the exclamation point? Sort of? Of course, we like them and hope they will be very happy.

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Gia and Keisha love to laugh. But they also like to educate. But not as much as they love to laugh! Anyway, between thoughtful discussions about parenting (big surprise, Drew is an awful parent) and poor decisions (Michael and Nina have designed the perfect prison, and it is called Michael and Nina), Gia once again reminds us of the value (and fun) of a colonoscopy. And Keisha provides some interesting facts about tapeworms (hint: raw meat is not your friend). So something for everyone!

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It's still Thanksgiving in Port Charles! One person who isn't thankful? Diane. One person who is pretending to be thankful but is actually not so discreetly coming unglued? Nina. One person we're thankful for and thankful we'll be seeing more of him because he brings a certain je ne sais quoi (only in Russian) to the proceedings? Yuri. We're also thankful for pizza. And Roger Howarth. We wish you nothing but the best, Roger. 

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Happy Thanksgiving from Gia and Keisha! Thank you for listening! And thank you, General Hospital, for giving us a new episode! And Leo! Now, is Charlotte scary scary, or just scary? And Cyrus. Just as creepy scrubbing a floor on his hands and knees as he is popping in on his sister. Laura sure does have her hands full. No wonder she didn't host a big family Thanksgiving dinner. Even Kevin couldn't handle all that crazy.

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No, no, no. Not Austin! Take Drew! And Wiley! Oh woe. Difficult to get excited about anything now. Spencer might be growing up? Good news but not exciting. Diane is representing Finn? Ditto. Jordan will continue to be the deputy mayor? Great. Nina gets to hold onto the Metro Court for now? Whatever. Oh, this is hard. At least bring back Liesl, give us more Terry and Yuri, and consider throwing Drew off a parapet. Please.

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