A Thousand Tiny Steps

My senior year was filled with academics - and a little cocaine. As crazy as I partied in college, I also took advantage of my full scholarship to BU and got a masters degree in a year. I grew as a person and became much more of an adult, even when I struggled with my on again, off again relationship with David.

Key Takeaways:

[1:46] Turning point of adulthood the summer after sophomore year

[3:11] Being introduced to cocaine

[7:29] Starting my junior year in 1983 with a new running coach

[10:57] Getting injured, receiving surgery, and not being able to run

[16:01] Spending most of my time studying and getting ahead

[17:13] Becoming very close to David's family

[22:03] My senior year, struggling with David, and focusing on academics

[24:43] Partying a ton, getting a masters, and graduating

[26:29] Breaking up with David and getting back together with him

[27:29] Getting my tonsils taken out

[29:08] Finally feeling better and running my best times

[31:20] The happy and the sad are intertwined in my life

[32:31] Having no plans after graduating

[33:50] Being awarded a full scholarship is still surreal

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The Molly B Foundation

My sophomore year was a fantastic year for me. I finally started staying at BU on the weekends and I had found a group of friends. I broke up with Jay and began a healthy relationship with David which has had a substantial impact on my life. To top it off, I became the first female Division 1 All American for BU. I felt on top of the world.

Key Takeaways:

[0:57] Reflecting on my actions and goals

[6:32] Connecting to BU, making friends, and staying for the weekends

[11:36] Struggling a bit at track meets with Jay training me

[13:48] Living in an apartment and being surrounded by all my friends

[16:19] Gaining better time management skills with my classes

[17:32] Ending my relationship with Jay, but he didn't want to

[19:12] Drinking socially, not to get drunk

[20:26] Becoming the first Division 1 female All American at BU

[24:00] Feeling like I had arrived and found my place

[25:38] Meeting David, my first serious and healthy relationship

[29:01] Going down to the Cape in the summer of 1983

[30:11] Becoming great friends with Sally who is an amazing athlete

[33:19] Feeling like I mattered, but getting scared when things were good

Resources:

• Summarization of Atomic Habits
• Atomic Habits

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The Molly B Foundation

The first semester of my freshman year of college was a difficult transition. It was an odd time in between being a teenager and an adult who had to handle things themselves. Learning time management skills, dealing with a coach that pushed me too hard, getting injured, and competing with my teammates made for a whirlwind. By the end of it I was ready to leave, but going home is what helped me realize I had to stay.

Key Takeaways:

[6:38] Feeling weird having so much freedom going from 17 to 18

[8:03] Fun I had in the summer of 1981

[9:23] My first semester of college was terrible

[10:11] Training camp at BU

[12:51] Title 9, the impact it had on sports, and my team at BU

[15:33] We all struggled with things like eating disorders, alcoholism, etc

[16:49] Having to buy things for myself as an adult and growing up

[18:09] Struggling with time management

[20:21] Coach at BU pitted us against one another and broke us down

[23:32] Being amazed at the freedom of adulthood and a co-ed dorm

[25:39] The pressure on the women's team, the discrimination, and injuries

[27:46] Noticing how many runners had eating disorders

[30:58] My injury put a lot of pressure on me and my athletic scholarship

[33:24] Going home for Christmas break and not having a bedroom anymore

[34:19] Realizing I need to go back to BU and my relationship with Jay was strained

[35:26] It's okay if you don't enjoy college at first, it's a tough transition

[37:16] Life is a chronic existence of coexisting emotions

[38:50] New England weather and remembering to breathe

Resources:

• Karen Kenney
• Ok Yup podcast

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

The first semester of my senior year was horrible. I dealt with a subpar cross country coach, argued with my friends, lost several races, my drinking got worse, and I had an abortion. I went into a depression and it was only the second half of my senior year that I was able to crawl out of it, find positives in the situation, and get a full scholarship to Boston University.

Key Takeaways:

[3:13] Making a name for myself in the running community

[4:16] Processing my relationship with science guy

[5:02] Falling in love with Jay and hour age difference

[7:40] Getting a new cross country coach who wasn't great

[8:59] Getting nervous around a future olympian and losing to her

[11:19] Agreeing to tie with Marty in a race and breaking that

[11:23] Being upset with my running because I wasn't first

[14:30] Trying out for the musical and falling in love with theater

[17:05] Being terrified and getting an abortion

[22:55] Feeling like I had lost everything and being depressed

[25:21] Using theater to process my emotions

[26:59] Working towards 5 minutes in a mile and meeting that goal

[28:39] My drinking getting worse and vomiting at a dance

[31:08] Losing confidence in my running and getting pneumonia

[32:52] Not listening to my coach on the track

[35:04] Applying to colleges and getting a full scholarship to BU

[37:17] My senior year was horrid, but light was at the end of the tunnel

[40:01] Marty going to BU with me and my running getting better

[41:12] Going to California for running

[42:36] My relationship with Jay had such good times

[43:51] Feeling connected to my body in a positive way

Resources:

• The Body Keeps the Score

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

I went Into junior year a different person: I wasn't with science guy anymore, I had a table at lunch, and my running improved. Along with the good there was such chaos though. My drinking problems began and I got into unsafe relationships with older men. In this episode, I explore my feelings recovering from trauma and finding my people.

Key Takeaways:

[2:52] I went into junior year a very different person

[3:54] Women had less rights in the 70s and 80s

[5:25] Trying to process being sexually assaulted

[6:58] Feeling grown up and improving my running time

[8:21] Having a table to sit with at lunch because of track

[8:55] The fearsome five group of runners

[11:23] Running 35 miles a week

[13:14] Being in relationships with people significantly older than me

[15:45] Trying cross country, alienating people, and quitting

[18:22] Meeting Marty, my future college roommate

[21:02] Streaking in a hotel and getting caught by the cops

[23:46] Science guy was with several others when he was with me

[24:36] Feeling like I belonged in junior year and gaining confidence

[27:04] Learning about anorexia and how it impacts runners

[29:06] My problem with drinking began

[31:41] Getting drunk at a dance, smacking into a wall, and getting confronted

[33:49] How my running time improved throughout high school

[35:54] Realizing science guy wasn't in love with me and my parents finding out

[38:33] Seeing Molly in younger me

[39:40] People are more vocal about child abuse now

Resources:

• The Silence of Great Distance
• Stitches

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

My sophomore year was full of ups and downs. I went into the year not knowing where to sit at lunch, and unsure of myself. I ended up going to Germany, quitting gymnastics, joining the cheer team, and becoming a track star. As all these amazing things happened, I spent more time with my teacher, science guy, which quickly became something more.

Key Takeaways:

[8:30] Going to gymnastics camp again and feeling harassed

[11:03] Gymnastics camp giving me a social life

[12:36] My eventful first day of 10th grade as a cheerleader

[13:58] Mr. Smith made such an impact on my life

[17:07] Going to science guy's class and being humiliated

[19:34] Enjoying cheerleading, dances, getting drunk and in trouble

[24:35] Quitting gymnastics and struggling with my asthma

[26:25] Keeping myself insanely busy and trying to find a new social group

[28:39] Starting to spend time with science guy in his apartment

[30:28] I struggle with boundaries and where lines can blur with teachers

[34:01] Making excuses to spend more and more time with science guy

[36:30] Going out for track because of science guy, but struggling with asthma

[41:24] Feeling like I fit in, becoming a track star, and getting popular

[45:57] Having sex for the first time at 15 and the trauma repeating in my life

[50:53] I recreated the abuse and trauma from when I was younger

Resources:

• The Silence of Great Distance
• The Body Keeps the Score

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

Junior high school was a trying time for me between admitting I was being sexually abused to my mom to finding out who my biological father was. Through all the chaos and craziness I was trying to find my way and a group of friends to fit in with. It was not an easy endeavor and so I kept as busy as I could and tried not to be home. In this episode, I explore my early teen years and how it shaped me today.

Key Takeaways:

[8:30] 7th grade in junior high school was a transitional year

[10:16] Doing activities outside of school and struggling with asthma

[11:03] Recognizing I was suffering from abuse and telling my mom

[17:46] Going into 8th grade, not eating, and filling my schedule

[19:09] My parents getting a divorce

[22:13] Going to gymnastics camp and meeting such supportive friends

[25:26] I kept myself busy with cheerleading so I didn't have to be home

[27:20] Finding out Tom was my biological father

[29:28] Being told to sit still and be quiet all my life

[30:08] Trying to be popular, look a certain way, and socioeconomics of Concord

[33:07] Being friends with people from different social groups

[33:58] Molly was a floater like me

[35:59] Becoming more confident through sports

[38:05] Constantly feeling behind my friends

[41:38] Giving your children space and not controlling them

[42:54] I learned that I could feel both joy and tragedy at the same time

[45:34] Social life has changed

Resources:

• Summer of my German Soldier
• The Body Keeps the Score

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

I've made it one year as a podcaster! This is such an accomplishment for me and I'm excited to see the progress I've made. I can't wait to bring you along as I continue to write blog posts, podcast episodes, and expand into building my brand.

Key Takeaways:

[4:41] Where I started with the podcast

[8:22] Where I'm going next with the podcast

[12:16] Being told I'm playing the victim

[15:20] I love getting feedback from my listeners

[17:17] The negative comments I've gotten since having Jack

[23:36] Working to finalize the MollyB Foundation

[25:56] Season 3 and dealing with trauma

[29:04] Season 4, parenting, and the struggles

[32:15] Getting momentum going with the podcast and blog

[34:29] Thinking about the future of my business

[35:59] CrossFit is my community that keeps me going

[39:35] I don't want to repeat my life and moving forward

[42:33] Meeting more entrepreneurs and learning about business

[44:37] My goals and where I'm headed

Resources:

• Hate article written about me
• The Body Keeps the Score
• Shenanigans Podcast
• Jace Apollo Creative
• Judy B Web Studio

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

The lines are often blurred to me on what's okay to share and what's not. When a student came to me sharing that they were in a relationship with a teacher, I shared my own story of how I was in a relationship with my teacher, "science guy" when I was a young teenager. This choice proved to have a ripple effect - for better and for worse. As I had to share my story in front of a school board, I contemplate my feelings around our relationship and the narrative of sexual assault victims.

Key Takeaways:

[3:34] Going to Washington D.C. and meeting Kenny

[4:48] Being a health teacher and being criticized in lessons

[9:40] A student came to me and said her friend was in a relationship with a teacher

[11:54] The friend in a relationship with a teacher came to me a week later

[12:59] Getting in trouble with Chris Rath for telling my story of sexual assault

[17:05] The lines blurred of what's okay to share with students

[19:59] Other teachers were let go

[21:09] Being forced to tell my story of sexual assault at a school board meeting

[23:59] Being harassed for telling my story and getting a restraining order

[26:48] Feeling powerless as "science guy" quickly got another job

[30:40] Feeling like a sacrificial lamb for the district and not realizing my options

[34:08] Victims of sexual assault are guilty before proven innocent

[38:05] Teaching consent and debating on where the lines blur

[47:01] Being left with mixed feelings on the incident with "science guy"

[49:13] My next season and plans for having guests on the podcast

Resources:

• Chessy Prout's book on assault at St. Pauls
• Shenanigans Podcast

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

Connecting with siblings I didn't live with, creating a track camp, and going through a 15 year period where I worked to redefine myself was a lot. In the 90s I spent a ton of time connecting with my siblings that I never really got to know and I cherish those relationships. In the 2000s, I achieved some of my proudest professional moments including starting a track camp. In this episode, I dive into how these big moments changed me as a person.

Key Takeaways:

[5:57] Thinking about the "what if's" in my life

[8:22] Creating relationships with my siblings later in life

[13:52] This series of events with my family shaped me

[16:41] 25 years of Princeton Camp helped shape me into a leader

[22:19] I started Barb's Track Camp to provide opportunities to kids

[26:32] Track Camp has changed over time, but I'm so proud of what I created

[31:31] Creating a great track and field / cross country program at Concord High

[34:43] I'm great at event planning and I'm so happy to give back to my community

[38:10] I spent 15 years redefining myself

Resources:

• Shenanigans Podcast
• Homeless to Harvard
• Barb's Track Camp

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation