A Thousand Tiny Steps

In 2011, I was working a million jobs just trying to pay the mortgage and keep busy. I was spending time with Roy where I could and a lot of our time spent together was spent dealing with court hearings. As that was going on I started CrossFit, our house almost went to auction, and Kenney got sicker and sicker. It was a whirlwind, before it would all come crashing down.

Key Takeaways:

[5:05] Working at Flips with Robin and Skye

[8:33] Keeping my life open for Roy to be in it

[11:29] Being harassed and getting a restraining order

[14:12] Spending a lot of time in court with Roy

[16:03] Struggling financially, but it slowly getting better

[17:45] Arguing with Kenney and regrets

[18:47] Arguing with Roy and then it was like it never happened

[20:59] Starting CrossFit and finding community

[24:29] My friendship with Robin could be toxic

[26:17] Our house almost went up for auction

[27:44] Kenney was getting sicker and sicker

[29:43] Having this very busy life

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The Molly B Foundation

I attract people with narcissistic tendencies like flies. All my relationships have common themes in them and follow me everywhere: my romantic relationships, my jobs, the school board. These relationships heavily impacted my life as I dealt with death and trying to adjust to losing my job.

Key Takeaways:

[2:01] My friend Tom passed away

[5:34] Feeling pulled on by both sides

[7:09] Restraining orders and Chris Rath

[9:35] People around me with narcissistic tendencies

[11:43] Death continues to devastate me

[13:18] Finishing my book and doing CrossFit

[16:29] Narcissistic tendencies in my relationship with Roy

[19:15] Chris Rath and the school board

[21:11] Trying to decide what to do with my life and Roy

[24:42] Teachers being harassed and the support they receive

[29:40] In 2011, I started a job at an online school

[30:52] My friends stopped talking to me and my kids

[33:26] Meeting Robin, getting a new job, and getting sucked in

[35:01] My life changed so drastically

Resources:

• POWER Book

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The Molly B Foundation

Losing my job was devastating and I had to pick up my life piece by piece. I worked a million jobs, spent tons of time with my daughters, and navigated a tricky relationship. I was left with many feelings when I felt like no one in my life supported me and everyone wanted me to resign. It has made me look back on this time and the regrets I have.

Key Takeaways:

[3:33] None of my coworkers supported me

[4:30] I ended up resigning to keep my insurance and pay

[5:53] Being accused of doing everything wrong as a teacher

[8:31] My lawyer was not helpful and told me to resign

[9:40] The agenda that Chris Rath had and how she shifted things

[14:50] Resigning and not fighting against it

[16:48] Chris Rath made the people around her do what she wanted

[17:35] Getting my belongings and leaving the building

[19:51] Putting my life together piece by piece

[21:58] Roy telling me he can't do our relationship anymore

[24:22] Spending a ton of time with my daughters

[26:47] Getting a restraining order

[28:18] I kept saying yes to things I shouldn't have

[30:37] Working multiple jobs, trying to stay afloat, relationship drama

[32:52] Looking back on my regrets

Resources:

• Patch Articles

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The Molly B Foundation

Between July to November of 2010 I was constantly called into meetings for misbehavior in my job and was suspended. I never went back to teaching. Constantly being harassed, freezing at all the wrong moments, and dealing with a complex relationship outside of school made it a dark time in my life. In this episode, I look back on the manipulation in my life and how it led me to never teach for the district again.

Key Takeaways:

[5:44] Going from being successful to having a stressful life

[7:10] The reality of Roy's life

[9:07] School buildings being torn down and fighting it

[11:59] Freezing, crying, and being told I could be fired

[15:33] Being told I should take the season off from coaching

[17:09] People being shocked I took off from coaching

[18:09] Trying to do perfectly everyday in fear of being fired

[20:30] Being harassed by the PE teachers and teacher aide

[23:22] Constantly getting called down for meetings

[24:53] My last day of teaching

[27:18] My thoughts looking back on the situation

[29:43] Men and women treated differently

Resources:

• Label Free

• Introducing Me

• Women in Good Company

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The Molly B Foundation

As my life financially kept getting worse, I began a relationship with Roy. Itt had amazing times, but was also filled with gaslighting and love bombing. I debated leaving my marriage, thinking about my kids, and how my life could have alternatively happened. As all this was happening, things finally blew up with my husband and it felt like my entire world was crumbling down.

Key Takeaways:

[3:41] Struggling financially and spending a lot of time working

[4:32] Trauma bonding with others

[6:06] Canceling everything to talk to Roy

[8:04] Spending more time with Roy and the terrible comments

[9:40] Social media disaster and being angry with Roy

[10:54] Starting to get wrapped up in a life with him

[12:32] Starting a romantic relationship with him

[14:29] I think Amy and Roy shared a lot with one another

[15:37] Neglecting my life to spend time with Roy

[16:59] I didn't want to leave my marriage

[19:09] Struggling to decide to end my marriage and be with Roy

[21:23] Roy preferred things a certain way and we argued

[23:36] He spent a lot of time on the phone with other women

[24:47] Trying to get a restraining order against Amy's boyfriend

[27:05] Going skiing, it being wonderful but there were red flags

[31:28] Roy not being grateful for the gift I got him

[32:54] Being yelled at and not communicating

[32:48] Our second big fight: choosing music in the car

[36:31] Visiting my biological dad in person for the last time

[37:31] Things officially blowing up with Kenny

[39:51] Testifying in court for Roy

[40:51] Complaints at school were being made

[43:25] Helping Roy talk to his children again

[45:24] Going from being on top of the world to it tumbling down

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The Molly B Foundation

As I started my sabbatical professionally things were going great. I connected with the children and created a curriculum that I was proud of. My relationship with Amy and her family was dwindling, when Roy came back into the picture and it turned my world upside down. In this episode, I go through a series of conflicting emotions and what was truly the calm before the storm.

Key Takeaways:

[3:43] What I wanted to achieve on my sabbatical

[5:48] Amy's utter devotion to her relationship over her children

[7:31] The changes I saw in Teresa

[8:37] The work I did on my sabbatical integrating mind, body, and soul

[11:06] School drop off and a deteriorating relationship with Amy

[14:55] Having less interaction with Teresa

[16:33] Pulling away from Amy and a flurry of emails

[19:13] Staying on sabbatical longer and conflicted emotions

[21:20] Having a wonderful track season and vacation

[23:39] Morgan and Teresea being moved abruptly

[24:24] Searching for Roy on Facebook and talking to him

[31:30] Being able to have a little contact with Teresa again

[32:48] Meeting Roy for a drink and discussing our lives

[36:15] Roy invited my sister for dinner which was upset about

Resources:

• Vintage Mamas

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The Molly B Foundation

The tension was starting to become overwhelming when a restraining order came into play. Amy and I both pulled away from our friendship and I had our children separated in class. The stress permeated every aspect of my life as the situation became worse and worse. In this episode, I look back on how the restraining order was used and the impact it left.

Key Takeaways:

[3:44] Amy's strong desire to cling to me

[6:25] Roy oversharing with Teresa

[10:10] Pulling back from my relationship with Amy

[12:32] Amy obtaining a restraining order and Roy finding out

[15:31] Going to court and Roy not fighting the restraining order

[18:07] Amy pulled away from me and disappeared for hours at a time

[22:54] Working with Amy and feeling left with a knot in my stomach

[24:59] Meeting Amy's new boyfriend

[26:11] Reality started to click in about the situation

[29:17] I asked for Morgan and Gracie to be in separate classrooms

[31:41] Starting my sabbatical, stressful times, and looking back

[33:54] Thinking about how my life could have been different

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The Molly B Foundation

As the situation with Amy escalated and I tried to step back, my life felt like it was a dumpster on fire. My household finances were a mess and I was constantly being pulled into 50 different directions. As I learned more about the situation, I felt more and more needed by Amy and the situation quickly started tumbling downwards.

Key Takeaways:

[4:19] Constantly being called by Amy on the phone

[9:04] Applying for my sabbatical

[10:50] Struggling with financials and the IRS

[14:29] How Gracie and Morgan played together

[17:17] Boundary crossing and alarms bells ringing

[22:11] Starting my sabbatical on health

[22:55] Gracie walked to the YMCA by herself and a panic attack

[24:27] Amy having surgery, increasing needs, and stress

[27:51] Starting to learn more about Amy's and Roy's relationship

[31:48] The situation was escalating and trying to step away

[38:41] Looking back on the experience

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The Molly B Foundation

My first 2 years of my friendship with Amy were a gift, but I didn't know how it would change the trajectory of my life. We truly did click as friends as our friendship was largely centered around motherhood. But our communication styles and how we lived our lives separated us. In this episode, I explore how a relationship changed my life and drove my other friends away.

Key Takeaways:

[2:04] Staying in abusive relationships

[5:57] My friendship with Amy was centered around our kids

[8:30] Struggling financially, but not knowing how bad it was

[10:10] It was like Amy had two different personalities

[11:40] Being called a compulsive liar

[12:42] Helping one another with birthdays and having fun

[14:53] Birthdays should be about the child, not the adult

[16:38] Differences between Amy and my religion

[18:33] Letting Amy jump over my boundaries

[20:23] Our communication styles differed

[21:20] The boat and Amy dropping off her children unannounced

[23:55] My life was rapidly changing especially in my career

[25:51] All my friendships became strained, but I was blind to it

[27:06] Amy appeared like didn't want to be with her kids and consent

[28:24] The first 2 years my friendship with Amy was a gift

[30:43] How my perception has changed all these years later

Resources:

• The Secret Life of Bees

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The Molly B Foundation

It started with a note in a backpack and ended with a bucketload of complex emotions. The summer of 2005 to the summer of 2007 was a relatively normal time, but it would end in disaster because of a new friend I made. There were red flags everywhere, but I chose to ignore them because I felt like we really clicked and we were bonded by motherhood. That boundary crossing would come back to haunt me later and would impact the next decade of my life.

Key Takeaways:

[4:41] Getting sick, having a terrible holiday, and resetting goals

[10:52] Connecting with my college friends and stories of sexual abuse

[18:05] Summer of 2005 and losing a baby

[20:31] It started with a note in a backpack and making a new friend

[22:30] Feeling like Amy was "off" but diving into a friendship

[26:28] Receiving constant phone calls and crossed boundaries

[27:36] Triangulation, enmeshed friendship, and ruined relationships

[30:43] Not knowing much about Roy and being uncomfortable

[32:37] The disastrous dinner and keeping the kids isolated

[38:14] Arguing over driving and picking up the kids

[41:18] My friendship with Amy ate into my family time

[43:49] Amy and Roy leaving on a trip and not contacting me for 3 days

[45:17] Seeing more and more red flags, but feeling insecure in the friendship

[48:21] Helping Amy get a job, but she crossed over my boundaries

[50:23] It was emotionally taxing to deal with boundary crossing

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The Molly B Foundation