A Thousand Tiny Steps

I am going full force with the MollyB Foundation. I want to take it to a higher level and am brainstorming ways to do so. I will also be releasing my book soon which is about Molly. I'm interested to see the types of conversations it elicits and I'm grateful that I am able to continue to build a community of grievers.

Key Takeaways:

[2:06] Molly's involvement with RB Productions

[5:04] Transitioning the MollyB Foundation to something bigger

[6:38] What being a 5OC3 means

[7:27] Making a more manageable schedule

[9:37] The people that helped write and edit my book

[10:59] I'm angry I never got to see Molly grow up

[13:07] What the book is about and the meaning it holds

[18:15] People respond to child loss in different ways

[19:48] I don't have to agree with someone's lifestyle to love them

[23:17] I love when people talk about Molly

[24:34] John, the filmmakers death

[26:46] I need ideas for the MollyB Foundation

[29:51] The next couple of episodes

Resources:

• RB Productions

• Get Better Girl

• Carolina

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

Addiction is a cycle that has consumed my life at times. I am now in the process of realizing how many choices in my life it has impacted. It still feels like a slippery slope with drugs and alcohol, but I am finally realizing why I am making these choices and I am in the process of healing.

Key Takeaways:

[2:30] How drugs work in the body

[6:15] I loved alcohol because it took away my anxiety

[8:18] Thinking about getting back into the sober lifestyle

[9:34] Skylar's beautiful post on addiction

[14:52] Stereotypes of drug addiction

[17:10] My use of cocaine

[19:10] Sexual abuse and alcohol as a quick comfort

[22:30] How addiction has impacted my life

[25:42] Getting off pills was one of the most difficult things

[28:13] Feeling like I'm on a slippery slope with alcohol

[29:00] Narcissistic people are constantly in my life

[31:13] I chose people that don't really want my help

[34:00] Addiction is a cycle that's hard to break

[35:31] I wouldn't have started these relationships if I had known

[37:28] Where I'm going next

Resources:

• 75 Hard Challenge

• Get Better Girl

• Carolina

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

I am taking numerous foods out of my diet to figure out how my body works. As I do that, the month of June is taking on a new meaning for me: track camp and the MollyB Foundation. I am working hard to grow the foundation and for it to have a legacy long after I am gone.

Key Takeaways:

[3:15] Doing the 75 Hard Challenge

[5:38] Doing a plethora of tests to figure out how my body works

[9:42] How I'm doing with these health changes

[11:40] Being overwhelmed by my schedule

[13:44] MollyB scholarships and keeping her memory alive

[15:45] Track camp was difficult with parents yelling at me

[17:15] People saying terrible things online

[19:17] Where being self centered is leading our government

[21:23] The month of June's meaning has changed for me

[23:26] Realizing I have a ton of narcissistic people in my family

[25:18] I want the MollyB Foundation to be a legacy

Resources:

• 75 Hard Challenge

• Get Better Girl

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

My first guest, Libby, came on to talk about her mental health, eating disorder, and being an athlete. Libby chats about the struggles of transitioning into college, recovering from her eating disorder, and learning to value her accomplishments.

Key Takeaways:

[1:39] Why Libby started her podcast

[5:15] Why I love podcasting

[5:57] Podcasting has helped her realize we all share similar struggles

[7:00] College was a tough transition

[7:59] Eating disorders being prevalent in women's athletics

[9:13] The start of Libby's eating disorder

[12:20] Partying and binge drinking

[14:03] Body standards in sports

[15:03] Why she got into track, quitting, and starting again

[19:22] Imposter syndrome and downplaying accomplishments

[24:36] Being taught not to talk about your success

[29:28] Looking back on old journal entries

[32:07] The education system changed because of COVID

[34:28] The workload in college was a tough adjustment

[39:44] Using a podcast to tell your story

[42:05] Finding gratitude in your day

[45:49] Post graduate frenzy and different paths to take

Resources:

• Ok Yup podcast

• Libby's Instagram

• Libby's website

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

On the 4th of July, I think about my memories with Molly and what kind of future I'll help create for Jack. I have been doing deep work with my anger, self sabotage, and this idea that I need an escape plan. Putting all my eggs in one basket makes me nervous and makes me feel like I need a plan B. I am learning to navigate these emotions and attempt to pull my life together.

Key Takeaways:

[2:02] My feelings on the 4th of July have changed

[3:46] Reconciling with the good and bad in my life

[4:51] Being victim shamed

[6:11] My desire to keep things the same

[7:43] The MollyB Foundation becoming certified

[9:12] Helping kids pay for dance classes

[11:06] My go to emotion is anger

[13:09] Continually self sabotaging my own efforts

[16:21] The physical sensations of anxiety

[18:06] Constantly needing an escape plan

[25:13] If I self sabotage and it blows up, I can excuse my failures

[27:31] Getting off my phone and lying in silence

[28:31] The things that trigger me

[32:08] I'm having a turning point

[34:44] Learning to tell a good story

[35:58] I feel very judged in my hometown

[39:03] The 4th of July will be different for Jack

[42:05] Pulling my life together

Resources:

• Coaching with Carolina

• Content Compass

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

When I think of community I think of how it's evolved over time and wanting to fit in. My religious, financial, sports community and more have all been redefined even in the past decade. These social issues make me ponder how to be the best mother I can for Jack while redefining what these issues mean to me.

Key Takeaways:

[3:03] How money played a role in my upbringing

[7:39] My family structure growing up

[10:39] Family, DNA, and how it defines us

[14:51] Defying the odds all my life

[19:11] Religion is very divisive right now

[22:25] Debating true feminism

[25:14] Sexism in medicine and Molly's death

[27:37] Sexism in sports and Title 9

[37:13] Learning to listen and take a step back

[39:53] Gender and the LGBT movement

[41:31] Wanting to be the best mother I can be

[43:29] What's next for the podcast

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

Working at VLACS, an online middle and high school has been amazing. It has given me flexibility and I've been able to connect with students in a way I never could have in public school. But I am hopeful as I start my new journey launching a book and seeing where creating content around grief will take me.

Look at 95

Key Takeaways:

[1:30] Leaving my teaching job

[2:33] Finding what's important in life

[4:35] Losing my teaching job in Concord was crushing

[7:02] Starting to teach at VLACS

[9:43] Being great at having strong relationships with students

[10:27] Getting behind on paperwork

[12:06] Not meeting anybody in person can be difficult

[13:39] Taking a break from VLACS

[15:15] VLACS was about creating relationships first

[18:30] They taught the difference between empathy and sympathy

[20:37] Working at VLACS again, but with younger students

[24:23] Leaving VLACS will allow me to grow in other areas

[25:41] Molly's little white desk

[28:10] Where my career has taken me

[28:54] Rethinking the way I view teaching

[29:18] Thank you VLACS

Resources:

• VLACS

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation

I started track camp a few decades ago and it's still going strong. I get to show kids the joy of track and field while still having regular summer camp fun. Track camp has been such a pillar of our community and it now allows me to help grow the MollyB Foundation. Sign your kids up for track camp in the resources section.

Key Takeaways:

[1:49] The beginnings of track camp

[4:08] I wanted to get young kids interested in track

[5:52] What Barb's track camp looks like

[8:47] 2011 and how track camp changed

[10:05] Gracie being a counselor

[11:13] Finding your passion in life

[13:13] Camp is the one piece of old Barb

[13:46] Camp supporting me through Molly's death

[15:44] How camp is funded

[16:23] Offering two sessions of camp this year

[17:56] Creating a sense of community

[19:23] Track camp allows me to be in my element

Resources:

• Barb's Track Camp

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The Molly B Foundation

As I hit the 8 year mark of Molly being gone, I think upon her legacy and what I'm doing with the MollyB Foundation to honor her. I have fundraised, supported the arts, and given scholarships to children in her honor. All of this work has helped me as I have gone on the healing journey of writing my book and dealing with nasty comments online.

Key Takeaways:

[2:53] 8 years since Molly died

[5:09] Social media bringing up old memories

[7:01] Thinking I had more time left with Molly

[8:15] What the MollyB Foundation offers

[9:26] Having a wonderful conversation about Molly

[10:59] Fundraising for the MollyB Foundation

[13:25] It's tiring that people forget Molly

[14:15] Awards that the MollyB Foundation gives out

[14:58] Jack starting dance classes

[18:29] The nasty comments about my IVF journey online

[25:12] The process of writing my book

[28:16] What I envision for Jack when he's older

[29:38] My life has changed, but still stayed the same

Resources:

• Deliver Me From Nowhere

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The Molly B Foundation

As Memorial Day is upon us, it made me think back to the CrossFit workouts I've done in honor of people that have died. That's what I love about CrossFit. It is not just a workout, it's about community and supporting one another. In this episode, I look back on the heroes in my life and contemplate what commemorating someone really does.

Key Takeaways:

[2:00] Struggling in the month of May and a turning point

[4:04] Books I'm reading

[8:17] The importance of Memorial Day and CrossFit

[10:25] The hero workout, Murf

[13:38] The article I wrote for Memorial Day

[17:49] Finding community to help me through trauma

[18:39] Finding the meaning in life

[21:14] The workout that was made in Molly's honor

[23:26] Pondering what fighting for freedom really is

[24:13] The heroes in my life and commemorating my child

[26:01] What is your community?

Resources:

• Soul Boom

• Deliver Me From Nowhere

• The article I wrote on Murf

• The article I wrote on Blake

Connect with Barb:

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The Molly B Foundation