Absurd Arguments

Greetings fellow alumni of the school of Absurd Arguments! For those of you in college (or considering it), this episode will be a real treat. Matthew and Nathan are both experts in the college experience and have decided to share their wisdom with the masses. It's tough deciding what classes you should take, how you should decorate your dormroom, or even which kind of insufferable roommate you should be. Fortunately, our hosts cover all of this and more in their handy-dandy guide for college students. If you don't feel confident in your direction in life after listening to this episode, then there is no hope for you at all. That's the Absurd Arguments guarantee!* 

*This guarantee has no standing value, and any of their college advice should not be heeded at all. Seriously. Talk to a guidance counselor or something. Not these two bozos.

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Welcome to Season Two of Absurd Arguments! New year, new Matthew and Nathan (not really). As you can tell from the title, this season will feature more fart jokes than ever before! They'll be sharing the loudest, grossest, and stinkiest flatulent humor you've ever heard. In fact—
Wait. 
Oh. 
I just got a report. Apparently this episode is NOT about human gas. It's about gas stations and the shenanigans that go on there. Surely Matthew and Nathan will argue seriously and make zero gross references at all, right? Nah, we know whatever they discuss will be absurd! It is Absurd Arguments after all! We hope you enjoy this episode.

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Dear Nathan and Matthew,

I represent a global organization called T H E AGENCY. Your podcast, Absurd Arguments, has been listened to by many of our members, and we would like to show you our gratitude. We have noticed that you did not make any episodes this summer. Is everything okay? Did you really disband the podcast?

We are sending our best agent to get Nathan out of Podcast Bootcamp, but a team will need to be assembled. I will send further instructions. You do not need to provide us with your location. We already know.

Thank you for your future cooperation.

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If you enjoy our show, please leave a rating or review and tell all your friends and family about us! See you next time!

Ah, nothing is better than taking time to spend in nature. Hiking up trails, swimming in creeks, and sleeping under the stars are all almost as fun as listening to Matthew and Nathan argue about absurd things. After one year and 26 episodes, the two have decided it's time for a short break. 

But first, let's go camping! Our fearless hosts ditch the recording studio to spend time in nature and go camping. Truly it is the final frontier for them! Nathan brings back the much loved segment "Which is Worse?" Then the two argue about some common camping subjects, like best food to eat or which pests annoy them the most. 

Those of us part of the Absurd Arguments team (okay, I mean, it's just Nathan and Matthew) are so grateful for you listening to our podcast. Join us for "Season 2" when we come back in August. Have a fun summer!

Emotional separation music is Filaments by Scott Buckley

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Okay, so I've been to Gerudo Town. Check. Now, just to learn more about Zeld-Oh! I'm sorry! Just working through my checklist of things I need to do in that new Zelda game. Huh, guess I should be writing a description for our new episode. Ummm, what was it about again? That's right! It was about Zelda...but without mentioning that game. Gosh, what did we talk about? We talked about Land, Sea, and Sky (all things you can find in Zelda) and came up with fun superlatives for them! Like what if they were people or something and it was graduation for them! Ha! And then Matthew gave me a pop quiz about Zelda...oh. I guess we did talk about the game. Well, it's not like it's all I can think about or anything! Maybe we should have argued about that. Okay I think that's a long enough description, back to the checklist! So Zelda was last seen picking her nose and flicking the booger on a Korok...

Fantasy song is Traveler - Alexander Nakarada

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Moms. We all have at least one. And if you don't have a mom, there's plenty of examples in movies and tv shows for you to adopt your own. Perhaps you're a robot who wishes to understand the concept of motherhood. If so, you're in luck! Nathan and Matthew (who are not, or ever will be, mothers) are experts on what to do for your mom on Mother's Day. After listening to this episode, dear robot, you will know the best (or worst) places to take your mom and the best gifts to give her for the American holiday Mother's Day. We hope you can tell the difference! It's a mother-rific episode of Absurd Arguments!

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Rivalries. We all have witnessed them. Perhaps we have even formed some of our own. In fact, you're reading one right now: Nathan's intense rivalry against description writing. His laziness and procrastination is no match for the intense guilt and pressure Matthew puts on him to come up with a title and description. This week they lean into their own rivalry by talking about the greatest rivalries in the world. For example, Nathan's desire to talk about classic crime movies no one cares about vs. Matthew's need to tell everyone of his love for pirates. Which of these two rivals will argue about their rival best? Find out in this exciting episode of Absurd Arguments!

Note to self: do not write anything about potato-gate. The people are not ready.

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No, dear listeners, it's not the podcast's birthday today (it's still just a baby), but one of our hosts, Nathan, has a birthday a week after this podcast releases. To help celebrate his successful ascent up the mountain of aging, our hosts decided to argue about birthdays! But first, Nathan tests Matthew on birthday traditions around the world. Then they discuss some of the best birthday mainstays: candles, gifts, surprise parties, and parties where no one shows up at all! Matthew even has a fun game lined up too! You'll just have to listen and find out what it is on this spectacular episode of Absurd Arguments!

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Nathan's To-Do List:
* Wake up violently from a peaceful sleep.
* Check all my closets, cabinets, and drawers for any leprechauns that may have snuck in during the night.
* Have lunch with Matthew.
* Tell Matthew I'm sorry for the hundredth time for procrastinating on writing the podcast episode description.
* Write the podcast episode description (low priority: do tomorrow).
* Play Axe-Throwing fetch with my dog Ollie.
* Go to hospital (Ollie throws those axes too hard. I really need to be better at fetching them for him).
* Plan a prank for April Fools Day.
* Ponder the void and drift to sleep.

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What a lucky episode of Absurd Arguments this is! St. Patrick's Day is here, and Matthew and Nathan are ready to discuss all things green and Irish. The absurdity that will be argued over today covers all your favorite St. Paddy's topics, like the necessity of wearing green for the day and the ethics of dying an entire river green for the holiday (looking at you Chicago). But before all that Nathan plays a new game with Matthew where he challenges him to correctly pronounce a slew of Irish names (all listed below for you to play along at home). Settle in for one of our most mischievous episodes yet!

List of Irish names mentioned in this episode:
Aoife, Blathnaid, Caitriona, Caoimhe, Cillian, Dearbhla, Domhnall, Eoghan, Fionnuala, Naoise, Padraig, Saoirse, Siobhan

Also, Ollie has been sent to professional dog training after his refusal to learn proper table manners. We will give you updates about him when Nathan hears from the trainers.

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If you enjoy our show, please leave a rating or review and tell all your friends and family about us! See you next time!