Accessing Your Best Self with Devorah Vale

Patience can be an antidote to anger but just how does this work? The Alter of Kelm teaches that by imagining the painful situation beforehand and knowing what and who triggers us, we can expect and welcome the pain and thereby circumvent our angry response before it even happens. By breathing into it and not tightening or resisting the inevitable, we can remain unmoved by that which normally 'drives us crazy'! The power of visualization can not be underestimated!

Is it a coincidence that the pandemic's beginnings and Purim coincide? Perhaps there are some parallels between the two and lessons from the Megilla that apply to the times we are living in. Revealing that which is Hidden, unmasking God and Ourselves is the key to Redemption and why the holiday of Purim will continue even after Mashiach arrives.

13 is a lucky number!! In this bracha, we ask Hashem to bless the righteous people among our nation and those of other nations as well. We ask that in His Mercy, He arouse His compassion and see each one of us as striving to be like them. The Torah scholars, those who take leadership roles in the community and those who join the Jewish people as sincere converts are listed as those, who love and fear God with all their being, By praising and honoring these elevated people and by clinging to them it is as if we cling to God Himself.

The Alter of Kelm teaches that the antidote to anger is patience. The impatient person is not honest, he explains, because he overpays for the frustrating experience by reliving it over and over again. We cannot control how much pain we will have in life but we can control how much we suffer. Join us as we learn how to increase our ability to create boundaries and limit our ratzon.

Golda Meir famously said, "I can forgive our enemies for killing us but I will never be able to forgive them for making us into killers!" In this prayer, we ask God to eradicate sins and not the sinners. We would prefer that evildoers do tshuva and live. This Jewish view reveals how compassionate we must be even to those who would harm us, never giving up hope that they see the folly of their ways. and choose goodness and peace.

Each person is composed of the 4 elements according to Rav Chaim Vital, a kabbalist from the 16th century who lived in Tzfat. Each of us is dominant in either fire, earth, wind or water and in order to be balanced, one has to draw on other elements and incorporate them successfully. Fire needs to be contained to be constructive and needs water and earth to help those with a dominant fiery nature to find the right balance.

In this bracha we discuss the Torah's repeated admonition that "bribery blinds the eyes of the wise". Whether judging others or ourselves, we have to be very careful that our own biases and rational lies don't sway us and blind us to the issue at hand. God is the True Judge because He has no bias but judges with true compassion and righteousness. He protects honest and righteous judges who wish to do the same.

Should we pack our bags? Is it time for the Geulah, the return of the Jewish people from the 4 corners of the earth to their ancestral homeland? This bracha teaches that a prerequisite to the actualization of this great miracle is unity! The Jewish people need to be G'd's people, choosing freely and willingly to follow the teachings of His Torah. And only then will the entire world benefit from the Jewish people living in the land of Israel and spreading the wisdom of Torah to all its 4 corners.

Learning what to do when we experience strong emotions like anxiety, sadness and anger is a gift we give ourselves and others around us. Self regulation allows us to control our emotions. What is anger hiding? Susan Heitler, an expert on conflict resolution teaches us how to understand anger more deeply.