Accessing Your Best Self with Devorah Vale

When we ask God to provide us with all our material needs, we have to make sure we are asking for the right reasons. Is our pursuit of money an end in itself or is it a means towards self actualization as outlined by the teachings of the Torah? When we use all of the gifts that Hashem bestows upon us and recognize the source then money becomes a blessing. However, just as easily money and its pursuit can become a curse. Judaism and the teachings of the Torah help us see clearly how to use financial prosperity for soul's spiritual journey in this world and to accomplish its unique mission. Otherwise money and the pursuit of it can take us off course and become our downfall.

When we lose control and become angry it is very difficult to calm down. Anger is not to be used as a tool to make others do what you want or let them know what you don't want! Anger is a signal to you that something is wrong. Emotion always discovers a problem. Our work is to take anger and every other negative emotion to the place of sechel, and then respond in a controlled way. Not so easy to do when physiologically you are in 'fight or flight mode as explained by Dr. Goleman in his book on Emotional Intelligence. Join me as we learn some tips to tame the angry beast within.

In this class we discuss the meaning of the 8th bracha in the Shemona Esrei prayer that deals with healing of the body and the spiritual health of the soul. The two are intertwined and many illnesses can be linked back to a dis ease emotionally and spiritually which results in bodily illness. Healing comes from above and though we are called upon to use doctors and medicines we must remember that these are only the messengers through which Hashem can perform the miracle of healing.

Who am I jealous of? Is my jealousy made more intense when my sense of self worth is in question? The Torah teaches us that Rachel wondered why Leah was blessed with many children quickly and easily while she seemed unable to have her first. She began to feel badly about herself. It must be Leah is a tzadekes and I am not worthy. Maybe Hashem is punishing me. When we go to these darker thoughts, it is counterproductive and doesn't help us move forward.

Competition and comparison naturally fuels our jealousy. When we see that person with a bigger house, a nicer car, a better marriage, more well behaved and accomplished children, we cannot help but feel envious at times. The more we recognize that no one can take from me what is coming to me...what Hashem wants me to have, the more we can work to lessen these feelings of jealousy. We are all interdependent. Your success is mine and mine is yours. So don't be jealous, right?! Easier said than done!

Hatred and Jealousy. How are they related? Rabbi Akiva's 24,000 students died in a plague and the reason the Gemarra gives is that 'they did not show proper honour and respect to one another." A less well known source teaches that these students had 'tzaras ayin' towards one another. They saw each other as a 'threat'. How can I feel special if you are also equally successful as I am in the same area or skill. "I thought I was pretty good looking, until I met you!:

What is an ayin rah? We are told to have a good eye, which means practicing to see the good and positive in everyone and everything. The ayin rah is someone who is constantly jealous of others. Jealousy manifests in 2 ways. I can be jealous of what you have and want it for myself. This is what we call Kin'ah. However, even worse than that is what we call tzarat ayin...or narrow eyes. This means, I don't necessarily want/ need what you have. I just don't want YOU TO HAVE IT!!!!

We have all felt jealous before of someone's looks, talents, possessions and success. Maybe we have also been the source of other people's jealousy. Jealousy is a very human trait and not easy to eradicate. However, the Torah gives us tools to help us work to lessen our feelings of jealousy. Join me as we explore this topic using Torah sources and modern psychology.

In this class, we look at anger as explained in Mishna 5/14 in Pirkei Avot. The Mishna describes the different types of angry temperaments that people possess. Anger can be measured in terms of 3 things. Frequency, Intensity and Duration. Are you somebody who is hard to anger and easy to appease? Well, lucky you! Some of us are easy to anger and easy to appease. Others are hard to anger but also hard to appease. Which category do you fall into? Join us as we explore this explosive topic together!

In the 7th bracha of Shemona Esrei we ask Hashem to bring us freedom...nationally and personally. Freedom in Jewish terms means being free to serve Hashem according to the dictates of the Torah. Any other kind of freedom is temporary, illusory and one will end up serving the 'state' (politics) or the Self.