The five stages of listening are ignoring, pretend listening, selective listening, attentive listening, and empathetic listening. Most of us are stuck in the first three levels. Some of us might reach level 4 from time to time. Active listening is another aspect that gives people the distinct sense that they are being heard and seen. It ideally consists of comprehending, retaining, responding, and restating. The goal is to go deeper and have people talk as much as possible. Silence is also a useful tool for this goal.

Validation, on the other hand, is the act of showing respect and acknowledgment to people’s intentions and emotions. It can be as easy as nodding your head, but it accomplishes the greater purpose of making people feel emotionally heard and fulfilled. At the most basic level, it consists of identifying people’s emotions and then justifying them. You first act as a detective to understand what you are dealing with and then make people feel that they are completely rational in feeling their emotions. Emotions are never quite rational, but they are always real.

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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Visit the podcast on Captivate.fm at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ImprovePeopleSkills