What happens when two millennials get stuck in a horror movie? Spoiler: we’re not making it to the sequel.

In this week’s episode of Adulthood Pending, Zaga and Nick roast horror tropes, iconic killers, and the dumb ways millennials would actually try to survive. From arguing in the group chat while Jason lurks outside, to grabbing pumpkin spice lattes and Nerf bats as “weapons,” this episode proves adulthood is scarier than any haunted house.

We cover:

• Who dies first when millennials are in a slasher
• Dumb “weapons” we’d actually grab (flashlights, Nerf bats, pumpkin spice)
• Horror clichés flipped for our generation
• Jason, Michael Myers, Ghostface, Pennywise, and Chucky vs. millennials
• Why Sallie Mae is the real Jigsaw
• 
  

If you love shows like The Basement Yard or Tiny Meat Gang, and you want spooky-season laughs with a millennial twist, you’ll vibe with this one.

👉 Comment below: Which horror villain do YOU think you’d actually survive?

0:00 – Cold Open & Horror Setup  

15:00 – Millennials in Horror Tropes  

28:00 – Dumb “Weapons” We’d Actually Use  

40:00 – Horror Clichés Flipped for Our Generation  

53:00 – Jason, Michael Myers, and Ghostface vs Millennials  

1:06:00 – Pennywise, Saw Traps, and Real-Life Fears  

1:15:00 – Real Monsters: Sallie Mae, IRS, Landlords  

1:25:00 – Creepy Dolls, Vampires & Would We Survive?  

1:42:00 – Closing Thoughts & Spooky Season Wrap-Up  

🎙 Listen to the podcast on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw

📲 Follow us:

🔗 All our links: https://linktr.ee/ADULTHOODPENDING

📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@AdulthoodPending

📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/Adulthood.pending

🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw

💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/rbVHTNeFbH

👕 Rep your millennial chaos:

Because you’re too old for regrets and too young for orthopedic shoes.

👉 Grab the official Adulthood Pending gear here:

https://adulthoodpending.myspreadshop.com

🎵 Music Credit:

“LVL UP” — Luke Bodine, Luke Oxendale, Tosh Peterson & Adamm Mitchell

© Sleep Deprived Records / DistroKid

Used with permission.

Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5pEs6Q1dzo

All rights reserved.

“I’m an adult (and life’s still a nightmare)” — CHILIØ

Recorded & Produced by Quinn Cyrankiewicz, Lyrics by Chris Wirth

Used with permission.

Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osnYRTXimkw

All rights reserved.

#ComedyPodcast #MillennialPodcast #HorrorMovies #SpookySeason #AdulthoodPending

It’s not officially fall until Spirit Halloween moves into an abandoned Sears. 🎃 For Episode 21 of Adulthood Pending, Nick and Zaga dive headfirst into spooky season — roasting costumes, overpriced animatronics, and the chaos of millennial Halloween traditions.This week we cover:Why Spirit Halloween is basically the squatter of retailOur dumbest childhood costumes (plastic masks, itchy Power Rangers, DIY fails)The epidemic of sexy costumes in the 2000s$80 adult costumes you wear once and instantly regretTrick-or-treat economics (king-size Snickers vs. toothbrush houses)How millennials celebrate Halloween now (pumpkin spice, haunted hayrides, and being broke)Adulthood might still be pending, but Spirit Halloween is forever. 👻🎙 Listen to the podcast on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw📲 Follow us:🔗 All our links: https://linktr.ee/ADULTHOODPENDING📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@AdulthoodPending📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/Adulthood.pending🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/rbVHTNeFbH👕 Rep your millennial chaos:Because you’re too old for regrets and too young for orthopedic shoes.👉 Grab the official Adulthood Pending gear here:https://adulthoodpending.myspreadshop.com🎵 Music Credit:“LVL UP” — Luke Bodine, Luke Oxendale, Tosh Peterson & Adamm Mitchell© Sleep Deprived Records / DistroKidUsed with permission.Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5pEs6Q1dzoAll rights reserved.“I’m an adult (and life’s still a nightmare)” — CHILIØRecorded & Produced by Quinn Cyrankiewicz, Lyrics by Chris WirthUsed with permission.Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osnYRTXimkwAll rights reserved.

What if aliens landed today and judged humanity… based only on millennial culture? 👽 From Tamagotchis and Lunchables to 4 Loko and MySpace, we’re breaking down the artifacts, habits, and chaos that would either save Earth or get us instantly vaporized.

This is our 20th episode of Adulthood Pending, so you already know it’s going off the rails. Nick and Zaga ask the real questions:

• Would aliens crown Pitbull “Mr. Worldwide” as Earth’s leader?

• Is McDonald’s Sprite secretly a weapon of mass destruction?

• And why do millennials keep embarrassing ourselves in front of the galaxy?

Grab your tinfoil hat and a Capri Sun, because adulthood is still pending… and the mothership is here. 🚀

🎙 Listen to the podcast on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw📲 Follow us:🔗 All our links: https://linktr.ee/ADULTHOODPENDING📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@AdulthoodPending📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/Adulthood.pending🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/rbVHTNeFbH👕 Rep your millennial chaos:Because you’re too old for regrets and too young for orthopedic shoes.👉 Grab the official Adulthood Pending gear here:https://adulthoodpending.myspreadshop.com🎵 Music Credit:“LVL UP” — Luke Bodine, Luke Oxendale, Tosh Peterson & Adamm Mitchell© Sleep Deprived Records / DistroKidUsed with permission.Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5pEs6Q1dzoAll rights reserved.“I’m an adult (and life’s still a nightmare)” — CHILIØRecorded & Produced by Quinn Cyrankiewicz, Lyrics by Chris WirthUsed with permission.Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osnYRTXimkwAll rights reserved.

This week, Zaga & Nick host the very first meeting of Pet Parents Anonymous — the millennial support group for people who can’t keep succulents alive but still throw birthday parties for their dogs. 🐾🌱We’re talking:🐶 The chaos of being a “pet parent” vs. a “plant parent”💀 Our biggest pet/plant fails (RIP overfed fish & overwatered succulents)🚩 “Is This Love or Obsession?” game — FaceTiming your dog on vacation, pet acupuncture, naming plants after celebrities🤣 Audience-style confessions (“Hi, I’m Jamie, and I killed a cactus in 3 days…”)🔥 Hot takes: Fake plants or real plants? Succulents = scam? Cats = quiet quitters?It’s chaotic, it’s hilarious, and it’s painfully relatable for every millennial who’s ever bought a $60 dog sweater or cried over a dying fiddle leaf fig.💬 Audience Question: What’s your funniest pet or plant fail? Drop it in the comments or text us at 914-407-4058 — your story might make it into Part 2!🎙 Listen to the podcast on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw📲 Follow us:🔗 All our links: https://linktr.ee/ADULTHOODPENDING📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@AdulthoodPending📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/Adulthood.pending🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/rbVHTNeFbH👕 Rep your millennial chaos:Because you’re too old for regrets and too young for orthopedic shoes.👉 Grab the official Adulthood Pending gear here:https://adulthoodpending.myspreadshop.com🎵 Music Credit:“LVL UP” — Luke Bodine, Luke Oxendale, Tosh Peterson & Adamm Mitchell© Sleep Deprived Records / DistroKidUsed with permission.Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5pEs6Q1dzoAll rights reserved.“I’m an adult (and life’s still a nightmare)” — CHILIØRecorded & Produced by Quinn Cyrankiewicz, Lyrics by Chris WirthUsed with permission.Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osnYRTXimkwAll rights reserved.

This week, Zaga & Nick look back at every so-called “once-in-a-lifetime” event millennials have lived through — from Y2K panic to 9/11, from the 2008 Recession to COVID, and now the AI boom.

We’ve been told we’re living in “unprecedented times” our whole lives… but at this point, unprecedented feels like the precedent.

We’re talking:
💻 Y2K panic and kid-logic apocalypse fears
📉 Surviving the 2008 recession as broke 20-somethings
🌀 The Mayan apocalypse & the meme era
😷 Pandemic chaos, Zoom life, toilet paper wars
🤖 AI “changing everything” (again)

And to wrap it up: we play More or Less Unprecedented to crown the dumbest “Most Unprecedented Event of All Time.”

💬 Audience Question: What’s the most ridiculous “unprecedented” thing you remember living through? Drop it in the comments — we might read it in the next episode!

🎙 Listen to the podcast on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw

📲 Follow us:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@AdulthoodPending
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adulthood.pending

💬 Join our Discord:
https://discord.gg/rbVHTNeFbH

“LVL UP” — Luke Bodine, Luke Oxendale, Tosh Peterson & Adamm Mitchell
© Sleep Deprived Records / DistroKid
Used with permission.
Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5pEs6Q1dzo
All rights reserved.

“I’m an adult (and life’s still a nightmare)” — CHILIØ
Recorded & Produced by Quinn Cyrankiewicz, Lyrics by Chris Wirth
Used with permission.
Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osnYRTXimkw
All rights reserved.

#MillennialPodcast #ComedyPodcast #UnprecedentedTimes

🎵 Music Credit:

This week, Zaga & Nick take you on a chaotic, hilarious trip back to the 90s and 2000s — when life was simpler, our biggest problem was keeping our Tamagotchis alive, and downloading one song took 45 minutes.

We’re talking:

🎧 Forgotten tech & internet struggles

💬 AIM away message flexing

💥 Weird trends that came and went faster than Von Dutch hats

🌀 Random childhood obsessions we took way too seriously

If you grew up in the millennial era, you’ll be laughing, cringing, and saying, “OMG I remember that!” the whole time.

💬 Audience Question: What’s one random obsession you had as a kid that you totally forgot about until now? Comment below — we might read yours in the next episode!

🎙 Listen to the podcast on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw

📲 Follow us:

🔗 All our links: https://linktr.ee/ADULTHOODPENDING

📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@AdulthoodPending

📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/Adulthood.pending

💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/rbVHTNeFbH

👕 Rep your millennial chaos:

Because you’re too old for regrets and too young for orthopedic shoes.

👉 Grab the official Adulthood Pending gear here:

https://adulthoodpending.myspreadshop.com

🎵 Music Credit:

“LVL UP” — Luke Bodine, Luke Oxendale, Tosh Peterson & Adamm Mitchell

© Sleep Deprived Records / DistroKid

Used with permission.

Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5pEs6Q1dzo

All rights reserved.

“I’m an adult (and life’s still a nightmare)” — CHILIØ

Recorded & Produced by Quinn Cyrankiewicz, Lyrics by Chris Wirth

Used with permission.

Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osnYRTXimkw

All rights reserved.

Why do we all follow unspoken rules of adulthood that make zero sense?
This week, Zaga and Nick break down the dumbest, most pointless “adult rules” we’ve all been pretending are real — from pointless social etiquette to fake work habits we only do to “look busy.”

We’re exposing the weird behaviors we inherited from our parents, the bizarre expectations we enforce on ourselves, and the completely made-up rules that somehow became a part of everyday millennial life.

If you’ve ever:

• Followed a “rule” just to avoid looking immature

• Pretended to know what you’re doing in front of other adults

• Kept a habit you can’t explain

  
  

…you’re not alone — you’re just like us. And we’re all faking it together.

💬 YOUR TURN:
What’s one unspoken adult rule you follow for no reason? Drop it in the comments — your answer might end up in next week’s episode.

🔗 All our links: https://linktr.ee/ADULTHOODPENDING
📱 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@AdulthoodPending
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/Adulthood.pending
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6M2NGbzarhLytxjoi3GucK?si=ADNyYlK6Tf2F4aBUX9Odpw
💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/rbVHTNeFbH

🎵 Music Credit:
“LVL UP” — Luke Bodine, Luke Oxendale, Tosh Peterson & Adamm Mitchell
© Sleep Deprived Records / DistroKid
Used with permission.
Link to track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5pEs6Q1dzo
All rights reserved.

👴🏼 “You Know You’re in Your 30s When…”
(aka: I Pulled a Muscle Sitting Down)

Remember when your body didn’t audibly creak and you could party without checking if your HSA covered recovery time? This episode is for every millennial who now grunts when they stand up too fast.

Zaga and Nick are diving into the hilarious, painful, and painfully hilarious signs that you’ve officially crossed into your 30s. From weird medical bills to sleeping injuries, it’s the episode that says: “We’re not old, we’re just... vintage.”

🎯 If you’ve ever:
✔️ Groaned when picking something up
✔️ Had a favorite grocery store
✔️ Said “I can’t drink like I used to” unironically
—you're one of us now.

🎧 In This Episode:
🛏️ The things that now count as a “wild night” (hint: it's laundry)
💊 When every drawer in your house is a junk drawer or a med kit
📉 When social plans require recovery time
📺 Nostalgic ads from our youth that promised we’d be cooler than this
📱 TikTok fads that make us feel ancient

💥 Bonus:
Nick breaks down. Zaga forgets what he was talking about mid-sentence. It’s giving peak millennial.

👇 Comment below:
What’s YOUR “Oh God, I’m 30” moment?

👕 Rep your millennial chaos:Because you’re too old for regrets and too young for orthopedic shoes.

👉 Grab the official Adulthood Pending gear here:

https://adulthoodpending.myspreadshop.com

💬 Join the chaos IRL(ish):Discord’s open.

And yes, you can lurk without guilt:

https://discord.gg/guMbYn3jjp

📢 New episodes every week. Subscribe or we’ll send you an Evite to a party you can’t attend because your back hurts.

#MillennialLife #AdulthoodPending #FunnyPodcast #30sProblems #RelatablePodcast #ComedyPodcast #YouKnowYoureInYour30s #NickCrashedAgain #AgingMillennials

🎥 They Taught Us the Recorder—Not Taxes(aka: The Millennial Curriculum Was a Joke)

Remember when school taught us how to square dance, label mitochondria, and make dioramas… but not how to budget, file taxes, or break a lease? Same.

In this episode, Zaga and Nick take attendance for the absolute dumbest things we were taught growing up—and the life skills we really needed instead. From cursive trauma to fake college courses that sound too real (yes, “Tree Climbing” was legit), we’re breaking down the millennial school system one useless fact at a time.

If you ever:

✔️ Used a TI-83 to draw stick figures instead of graphing

✔️ Thought you’d need to recite all 50 state capitals in a job interview

✔️ Still don’t understand W-4s but can sew a pillow like a bossThis one’s for you.

🎒 In This Episode:

📚 Useless Lessons 101 – Why we know how to build popsicle stick bridges but not how to rent an apartment

💸 What We Should’ve Learned – Emotional regulation, budgeting, and other things that actually matter

🧠 Real or Fake College Class? – Take our pop quiz and see if you can guess which classes are legit

🎲 Draft Game – What would be in your Millennial School Survival Pack?

🎤 Bonus Bits:

“We got graded for coloring inside the lines… and now we’re too anxious to call our landlord.”

“Turns out mitochondria knowledge doesn’t help you refinance your car.”

💬 Drop a Comment:

📢 What’s something school taught you that’s been completely useless in adulthood?

🧠 What subject do you wish they’d taught?👀 Which ridiculous class from our quiz do you lowkey wish was real?

👕 Rep the Chaos:We made merch for people who peaked in Home Ec.

👉 Shop now at adulthoodpending.myspreadshop.com

👯‍♂️ Join our Discord – The only class you actually want to be in:

👉 https://discord.gg/guMbYn3jjp

🔔 Subscribe for more weekly millennial nonsense—nostalgia, burnout, and the stuff they really should’ve put on the syllabus.

#AdulthoodPending #FunnyPodcast #MillennialStruggles #TheyTaughtUsTheRecorder #AdultingFails #RelatablePodcast #MillennialHumor #WhyAmIStillLikeThis #PodcastClip #MillennialSchoolFail

👕 Adulthood Pending
“Millennial Survival Mode: Why Were We Like This?”

Remember when dinner was week-old Domino’s and your bed was just…vibes and a futon? When a Four Loko and 2 hours of sleep somehow powered you through a double shift? Yeah. We used to live like that. And we were proud of it.

This week, Zaga and Nick strap on their nostalgia goggles (and adult braces of emotional clarity) to relive the utter disaster that was our 20s — and ask the real question:
Could we survive that life now… or would we tap out IMMEDIATELY?

If you’ve ever:
✔️ Used Febreze instead of doing laundry
✔️ Thought a $3 taco and an energy drink was a meal
✔️ Claimed “minimalism” while living with zero furniture
—this episode is for you, king.

🎧 In This Episode:
🔥 Drafting the Ultimate Broke Guy Survival Pack
🤡 “Would You Survive or Tap Out?” (Spoiler: Therapy might be needed)
😬 Then or Still? Game — where past chaos meets present mess
🛒 Remembering why Target is the final boss of your bank account
🧻 Plus: Rico Yoga, crusty pans, and the myth of a functional adult routine

Fun Fact:
If you had one towel, a cracked phone, and a Bluetooth speaker—you were a millennial millionaire.

👇 Sound off in the comments:
🏆 What’s one thing you did in your 20s that felt normal… but was secretly a cry for help?
🎒 What’s the dumbest item in your Broke Guy Starter Pack?
😎 Could you survive the Four Loko Shift?

👕 Rep your millennial chaos:
Because you’re too old for regrets and too young for orthopedic shoes.
👉 Grab the official Adulthood Pending gear here:
https://adulthoodpending.myspreadshop.com

💬 Join the chaos IRL(ish):
Discord’s open. And yes, you can lurk without guilt:
https://discord.gg/E7Ny6nPb

📅 New episodes every week on nostalgia, burnout, and millennial survival instincts.
Because we’re all just trying to remember if we paid rent.

#AdulthoodPending #MillennialSurvival #FunnyPodcast #BrokeGuyStarterPack #ThenOrStill #ComedyPodcast #MillennialLife #FourLokoEra #AdultingFail #PodcastHumor #ZagaAndNick