"Be yourself at work"… unless that part of you is autistic, ADHD, anxious, too direct, too emotional, or needs something different.

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, April talks with Pasha Marlowe (she/they)—therapist (32+ years), coach to neurodivergent adults and couples, and author of Creating Cultures of Neuro Inclusion—about what real neuroinclusion looks like in workplaces, families, and community.

This conversation is practical and validating, especially if you don't feel safe disclosing a diagnosis (or you don't have one), but you still need support to function and avoid burnout.

• What neuroinclusion actually means (it's not just "neurodivergent-friendly"—it's collaboration between all neurotypes)
• Why leaders are losing people: it's often not "work ethic," it's lack of respect, agency, autonomy, and psychological safety
• The RESPECT Framework: a simple "user manual" approach to talk about needs/preferences without requiring diagnosis or disclosure
• How to write a one-page "how my brain & body work" guide (without turning it into a 10-page autobiography)
• The difference between being told you belong vs neuro-belonging: belonging to yourself first (even in ableist spaces)
• A powerful reframe for people-pleasers: "Disappoint others before you disappoint yourself."
• Why "fix-the-person" workplace solutions fail—and how overworking in the first 30/60/90 days can lead to exploitation and burnout
• How leaders can hold hard conversations when someone is labeled "too direct," "difficult," or "emotional" (hint: set expectations before conflict)
• Workplace red flags for fake neuroinclusion: disorder-first language, functioning labels, sloppy "neurodiverse individuals," euphemisms, and excluding mental health from the neurodivergent umbrella
• How to advocate using universal design language (e.g., "the flickering lights are disabling" / "I need captions to absorb the content") without outing yourself

If you're exhausted from masking all day, Pasha also shares how to talk to people at home about why you "crash" after work—and how to find spaces where you can actually unmask and be understood.

Pasha's book: Creating Cultures of Neuro Inclusion (paperback/Kindle/Audible) Website: PashaMarlowe.com Email: [email protected] Social: TikTok/IG @neuroqueercoach | LinkedIn/Facebook: Pasha Marlowe

If you've ever said "I know better… so why do I keep doing this?"—this episode is for you.

April sits down with Brian DesRoches, a psychotherapist with 35+ years of experience, to unpack what's actually happening when we get triggered, people-please, shut down, avoid hard conversations, or spiral into self-blame.

Brian breaks down a powerful reframe: your brain doesn't "hate change"—it has emotional immunity to change when change feels unsafe. In other words, many self-defeating patterns aren't personality flaws… they're protective emotional learnings your nervous system is still running, often from long ago.

• The difference between normal stress, anxiety, and being triggered (and why they're often lumped together)
• Why triggers are essentially threat predictions—"the feeling of what will happen"
• How behaviors like withdrawal, avoidance, people-pleasing, sarcasm, over-drinking, and perfectionism can be protective (not "brokenness")
• The neuroscience of memory reconsolidation—and why insight alone often doesn't create change
• What it means to "update" an old emotional learning at the synaptic level (vs just coping after you're activated)
• A practical starting point: do a trigger inventory, identify one pattern, notice body signals, and name the feared outcome
• Why feedback/authority situations can feel so intense for autistic people: the threat of being seen
• How to find the right support: look for experiential therapy and ask about memory reconsolidation-informed approaches

This conversation is validating, practical, and hopeful: you're not lazy, dramatic, or defective—your brain is protecting you. And yes, you can update what it learned.

Brian's website: BrianDeRoche.com (Books available on Amazon / by order at bookstores; includes a supplemental set of client stories.)

If you found this episode helpful, follow the show and share it with someone stuck in a loop of self-blame.

What if "adulting" isn't failing—it's just doing life without the tools your brain actually needs?

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, host April talks with Natalie Diggins—technologist and author of The Autistic Adults Toolbox—about practical, real-world systems that make autistic life more manageable without shame, fluff, or forced positivity.

Natalie shares why she built a "toolbox" in the first place (starting with the moment she couldn't even find a template to tell a surgeon what she needed), and how autistic adults can stop reinventing the wheel—at work, in relationships, in social situations, and during burnout.

• How to anticipate sensory overload instead of just enduring it (Natalie's simple day-by-day framework)
• The three times disclosure can make sense: helping someone, trust/intimacy, or the "thermonuclear option"
• How to plan for holidays and parties by protecting your "sensory calories" (before/during/after strategies + finding quiet spaces)
• The difference between meltdowns and tantrums, and how to explain meltdowns to a partner
• How Natalie spots burnout early with a "hurricane warning system"—plus her written down plan for recovery
• A minimalist executive-functioning setup: the "Top 3" notepad rule (when apps are too much)
• Relationship communication that works: shifting to "I want / I need" language and making needs understandable across neurotypes

If you've ever felt "too much," "too sensitive," or like you're behind in life—this conversation is a reminder: you're not broken. You need tools.

Find Natalie's book: The Autistic Adults Toolbox (online or at your local bookstore)

If you liked this episode, follow/subscribe and share it with someone who needs practical supports—not pressure.

If you're ambitious, high-performing, and secretly exhausted—this episode is for you.

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with Carol Enneking, former corporate VP in Talent and Leadership and author of The Rebalancing Act, about redefining success in a way that doesn't cost your health, relationships, or sense of self.

Carol shares what she saw inside high-performance culture: many of the most "successful" people were also the most depleted. Together we unpack why "balance" isn't a stable destination, how to rebalance in real life, and how autistic and neurodivergent adults can navigate burnout, sensory load, and masking—without sacrificing ambition.

• Why high performers often achieve more while enjoying it less
• "Balance" vs rebalancing (and why balance is basically a myth)
• Boundaries for ambitious people: when to dial it up vs dial it back
• People pleasing + perfectionism: how to loosen your grip without doing sloppy work
• Burnout signs (physical + cognitive) and why time can prevent escalation
• How to redefine success using values, legacy, and intentional choices
• A healthier relationship with failure: "failed" vs "I am a failure"
• Practical questions to stop spiraling: best case, worst case, likely outcome

• Website: carolenneking.com
• Book: The Rebalancing Act (wherever books are sold)

If you're an autistic or ADHD adult struggling with clutter, executive dysfunction, burnout, or decision fatigue, this episode of Adulting with Autism is for you. Professional Organizer and Life Organizing Strategist Takilla Combs (founder of Xtreme Audacity Organized Solutions) breaks down why organization isn't about pretty bins, Pinterest pantries, or perfect routines—it's about building sustainable systems that support how you actually live.

We talk about how clutter can be physical, mental, emotional, and operational, why high performers can look "together" at work while feeling overwhelmed at home, and how to create flexible routines that work for neurodivergent brains—without shame or perfectionism.

• Why clutter often starts as brain clutter and shows up in your environment
• The real reason "motivation" and quick productivity hacks don't stick
• Takilla's S.Y.S.T.E.M. framework: clutter costs Space, Time, Energy, Money
• How to build routines around your natural rhythms (and adjust as life changes)
• What to do when your systems fall apart due to mental health dips or a busy season
• A simple approach to paper clutter: handle what's already open first, one pile at a time

Guest: Takilla Combs — Life Organizing Strategist + Professional Organizer Website: https://extremeaudacity.com (starts with X) Podcast: The Organized Life with Takilla Renee Social: @extremeaudacity | @takillarenee

If this helped, follow Adulting with Autism, leave a review, and share this episode with someone navigating ADHD, autism, executive functioning challenges, or overwhelm.

Pressure can be motivating… or it can be a fast track to overwhelm—especially for autistic and ADHD adults.

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with Michael Dugan, corporate trainer with 20+ years experience and 20,000+ hours teaching performance under pressure, and author of Turning Snowflakes to Diamonds: Turning Pressure Into Power in an Age of AI.

Michael shares his Becoming Diamond framework and explains emotional mastery in everyday language. We explore how to distinguish growth pressure from harmful overwhelm, how to set boundaries that protect your nervous system, and practical, repeatable tools for emotional regulation.

• Pressure vs overload: what's "growth" and what's too much
• Emotional mastery (what it actually is—and what it isn't)
• The Swiss Army Knife method: Body, Breath, Brain
• The ART process: Accept, Release, Transform
• Breath and body cues for calming the nervous system
• Staying grounded in a world of AI, uncertainty, and information overload
• How attention shapes your state (and how to "bookend" your day)

• Book: Turning Snowflakes to Diamonds (Amazon / Audible)
• Online: Michael Timothy Dugan (YouTube + socials)

Money management can be extra hard when you're autistic or neurodivergent—especially if executive functioning challenges make it difficult to track expenses, remember bills, or plan long-term.

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with George Thomas, financial coach and CEO of a financial coaching company focused on making finance simple and accessible. George shares how to build a practical money system, why a budget still matters (when it's realistic), and how to reduce money anxiety by getting organized and focusing on what's leaving your account first.

We also discuss the myth that you "have to work to make money," the difference between net income and net worth, how to use automation safely, and small steps you can take this week—even if you feel behind.

• Why finance feels overwhelming (and how to make it more digestible)
• The importance of a personal "why," mission, and vision
• Net worth basics: income – expenses and where to start
• Executive functioning-friendly systems: reminders, organization, and review routines
• Automation: what's safe to automate vs what to review manually
• Handling setbacks and planning for "expected unexpected" costs
• Defining financial freedom beyond social media hype
• One change to make this week: review your expenses and find "money leaks"

https://george-thomas-s-school1.teachable.com/p/freedombuildersacademy

Freedom Builders Academy is a self-paced, instructor-led financial education program that teaches budgeting, expense management, investing fundamentals, and time/action planning. It includes guided video lessons, mini study guides, and quizzes, and typically takes 2–4 weeks to complete.

What do you do when the dream you built your identity around disappears overnight?

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, host Sia talks with Hacia Atherton—former elite equestrian, trauma survivor, and workplace culture strategist—about rebuilding after a devastating riding accident that left her with broken hips, a shattered pelvis, severe nerve damage, chronic pain, and a long recovery.

Hacia shares how Positive Psychology's PERMA framework helped her rebuild in tiny, realistic increments, how to define success day-by-day when your capacity changes, and what real support looks like (versus "support" that sounds good but misses the mark).

They also unpack psychological safety at work—what it looks like in real rooms, why silence in meetings is a red flag, and how autistic and neurodivergent adults can create pockets of safety even inside imperfect systems. Plus: how to document toxic dynamics, advocate for accommodations, and protect your nervous system when you feel trapped.

Hacia is the founder of Empowered Women in Trades and the author of Billion Dollar Blindspot, a guide to the hidden costs of toxic workplace culture and how leaders can fix it.

• Identity loss after trauma and how to rebuild without abandoning yourself
• Chronic pain, invisible struggle, and support that actually helps
• PERMA in everyday language (for teens and adults)
• Nervous system protection in toxic environments
• Psychological safety: what it feels like in a room (and what it looks like)
• Neurodivergence at work: communication, advocacy, and accommodations
• Why resilience sometimes means resting, pausing, or walking away
• Small practices for feeling seen when the world doesn't see you

• Website: https://haciahatherton.com
• Instagram: @hacia.atherton
• LinkedIn: Hacia Atherton
• Book: Billion Dollar Blindspot (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Walmart.com)

Do you feel like you have to perform to be accepted—at work, in relationships, even in your own self-talk? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, we're joined by Karin Velicka, a certified self-love and mindset coach, former professional athlete, and author of the upcoming book Dear Me Letters.

Karin shares her journey from a high-achieving finance path to coaching and emotional healing, and offers practical tools for autistic and ADHD adults who are navigating self-doubt, people-pleasing, burnout cycles, and major career transitions. We talk about why "quick fixes" rarely stick, how to build self-trust through small consistent steps, and how to make self-compassion feel real (not forced or fake).

• Signs you may need deeper inner work (overachieving, people-pleasing, weak boundaries)
• How to break limiting beliefs like "I'm not enough" and untangle generational patterns
• Why letter-writing can be more powerful than traditional journaling
• Self-love for neurodivergent adults: improving the inner dialogue without toxic positivity
• A gentle entry point to breathwork for trauma, overwhelm, or sensory discomfort (eyes open is okay)
• How autistic professionals can reduce overwork guilt with boundaries and "schedule a date with yourself"
• Career transition clarity: radical honesty, courage, and walking with fear instead of letting it stop you
• Why slow progress is real progress—and how to celebrate it

Guest: Karin Velicka Instagram: velicka.karin Website / Book updates: VelickaKarin.com (upcoming: Dear Me Letters)

If you found this episode helpful, follow Adulting with Autism, leave a review, and share it with someone searching for autism self-love, mindset coaching, people-pleasing recovery, burnout, or career transition support

What happens when you're diagnosed with ADHD at 56—after a lifetime of dyslexia, chaos, big wins, big losses, and school trauma that taught you you'd never be "enough"?

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with John O'Shea, author of NeuroSpicy, about late diagnosis, anger and shame, the nervous system cost of being punished for learning differently, and how ADHD isn't a deficit of attention—it can be an overload of thoughts "like a V8 with no brakes."

John shares how the end of his 32-year marriage pushed him into rock bottom—and why writing became a lifeline. He also explains why ADHD and dyslexia can be both a superpower and kryptonite, and what it takes to build resilience without staying trapped in failure as a "comfort blanket."

• What it feels like to get an ADHD diagnosis later in life (and why it mattered more to others than to John)
• School trauma, humiliation, and why criticism can trigger rage in ADHD/dyslexic adults
• Anger as armor: shame, rejection sensitivity, and emotional overflow
• The "fast brain" experience: overload vs "attention deficit"
• Why ADHD people can be scattered and intensely focused (hyperfocus)
• The Hawaii customs story: literacy shame, humiliation, and consequences
• Reframing neurodivergence: "we don't need fixing—we need understanding and tools"
• What the education system should change (and John's plan for an ADHD/dyslexia empowerment course)
• Imposter syndrome and "fake it till you make it" as a practical survival tool
• Tools John uses to regulate: meditation, gym, sauna, grounding, and presence practices
• Where to find the book and John's work

• Website / book: https://neurospicy.life
• Discount code: ABC25