This very special episode of Alison Answers - Mission Awake is one of both vulnerability and incredible strength. Kayla Stoecklein lost her husband, Andrew—pastor of Inland Hills Church in Chino, California—to suicide. Being that Alison lost her husband in the same tragic way, Kayla and Alison feel compelled to awaken the world to the hidden shame that comes along with suicide. The aftermath of enduring such a painful and heart-wrenching loss can be too much to bear, but through these immense losses, there are lessons and messages that need to be shared with the world.

In the wake of Kayla’s husband’s death, she embarked on a brave journey to better understand his harrowing battle with mental illness and, ultimately, to overcome the stigma of suicide. She knew she needed to become informed on the painful grip that mental illness can have on someone, and now she shares her story with the world through speaking events and her 2 amazing books, Fear Gone Wild, and Rebuilding Beautiful. Kayla and Alison’s grief and pain have been transformative in a way that they want everyone to know how to support someone in the depths of pain, and also those that are enduring grief. 

Key highlights:

• Introduction to Kayla
• Alison and Kayla’s desire to awaken the world to the hidden shame that comes along with suicide
• Bedrock Principles
• Pain is transformative
• Kayla’s tragic loss and her mission to understand mental illness
• The meaning of the title “Fear Gone Wild”
• Her husband’s start of his mental illness
• “Rebuilding Beautiful” meaning
• The power of her blogs and writing for other people
• Realizing she was part of a bigger story
• Putting away the victim card and taking out the bravery card
• Vulnerability allows us and others to take off their mask- that's the key to relationships and helping others
• How we need to hear other’s cries for help, don't make it about you
• Advice to people that may have loved ones dealing with suicidal thoughts
• As soon as an outcome happens, everything before it is illuminated
• Reaching out to others if you feel this way
• Kayla’s life after loss - why she decided to move away and start over
• How to support someone in their grief when you feel like you don’t have the right words
• Your presence is a gift for someone dealing with pain and grief
• Triumph after loss
• When you see someone in shame, help them separate the shame from themselves

Episode resources:

Fear Gone Wild by Kayla Stoecklein

Preorder Rebuilding Beautiful by Kayla Stoecklein

Connect with Kayla:

Website: kaylastoecklein.com

Instagram: @kaylasteck

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Chris Warnes is back on Alison Answers: Mission Awake, with another very important episode all about relationships, and how we can strengthen the relationships in our lives. Alison and Chris dive into the topic of dealing with someone in our life that often plays a victim, aims to make us feel guilty and at fault, and may be unaware of how to communicate more effectively. Relationships are all about communication, yet so many people don’t know how to communicate in a way that both expresses your feelings, and doesn’t trigger a defensive feeling in another person. 

Getting to the root of our feelings and actions is the real key, yet is often overlooked. Someone with an “eggshell ego” may not know how to communicate effectively, so Alison and Chris share how you can make space for that person to come to a realization of the effect of their actions. It is also our responsibility to do the work to undo our subconscious programming and learn to be in a healthy relationship. 

Tune in to hear more!

Key highlights:

• Alison’s example of a relationship with someone that is always the victim and makes you feel guilty
• Chris’ journey of healing and overcoming anger and triggers
• Boundaries within ourselves- why we need to set them
• Dealing with an eggshell ego
• Effort to change is key
• Redirect to understand the other person
• You need to understand yourself and make space for the other person
• Find the lesson and action plan to not make the mistake again
• We have been taught to always fight to be right
• We need to undo our subconscious programming
• Breaking the bot in us

Episode resources:

Book: Dominate Your Day: A high performer's guide to winning at life by Chris Warnes

Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Connect with Chris:

Website: chriswarnes.com

Instagram: @chriswarnes_og

YouTube: Chris Warnes

Podcast: The CW Clinic

Facebook: Christopher Warnes

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Today’s episode features the amazing Abbruzzese brothers, Nick and Anthony. They are members of the Arete Syndicate along with Alison, and they are exemplary examples of high-level gentlemen and healthy masculinity. Together, they own their own flooring company, Abbruzzese Floors, and they are intentional about using each of their strengths to run their business in harmony. With their goals always in mind, these two are continually focused on their goals and making improvements in the aspects of their life that mean the most to them. Finding a balance between life, family, and business, is such a significant aspect of life that so many people overlook, but Nick and Anthony strive every day to push themselves to be the best versions of themselves they can be. They are here on the podcast to share their lessons with all of you.

In this episode, Nick and Anthony share the wisdom they learned from their parents that set them on a path to working hard to start their business, and strive to not shy away from the discomfort of growing and improving through every stage of life and success. Alison asks some very important questions about the biggest challenges they have faced, and the intentional steps they are taking to overcome them. Tune in to hear more!

Key highlights:

• How they started their family floor business
• The key to their harmony
• The lessons they learned from their parents
• How their quality of life has changed in 5 years
• Reverse engineering your life: have a goal and work backwards
• Alison’s advice to be the person now you want to be in 10 years
• What their wives would say about them
• Alison breaks down some common reasons couples have communication issues
• Their goals for their future and business
• How their father instilled hard work in them
• Dealing with growing pains and chaos
• Challenges they face
• What they wish they would focus on more
• Their definition of success
• The importance of pushing yourself and getting uncomfortable

Quote from the episode:

• “If you're not experiencing discomfort you're not growing”

Connect with Nick and Anthony:

Website: abbruzzesefloors.com

Nick’s Instagram: @abruze

Anthony’s Instagram: @antabruze

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Today’s guest Patrick Robertson, is the owner and founder of Momentous Building, a construction company that is built on integrity, transparency, and communication. Patrick’s ability to create this successful business comes from his own ability to realize that it was his responsibility to make decisions, take action, and let go of everything that was no longer serving him. This realization is one that so many people in this world are lacking, and continue to blame their circumstances for the outcome of their life. 

In this episode, Patrick and Alison have a deep and inspiring conversation about how we all have choices to make in our life, and we have to continually focus on the vision that we see for ourselves, not allowing any limiting beliefs to hold us back. We should also make sure that all transactions and relationships in our lives are benefiting all those involved, and that we are always doing good by others, which is the belief that Patrick’s company operates by. Tune in to hear more!

Key highlights:

• Patrick’s background growing up in the construction industry
• His moment in college that forced him to wake up and make better choices
• Alison talks about how our religion can make us fear failure, and see failure as a mistake and not a lesson
• People are choosing short term pleasure over long term happiness
• We need to make the decision to take action
• Patrick’s advice to not limit yourself
• His vision for his company 
• Forgetting the limiting beliefs
• Business shouldn't always be transactional

Quote from the episode:

• “Everything in this world serves us until it no longer does”

Connect with Patrick:

Website: https://momentousbuilding.com/

Instagram: @projectpatrick96

Facebook: Momentous Building

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

This episode is a must listen for everyone, as it is all about a very important topic that applies to us all - relationships. Whether it’s a relationship with a spouse, partner, your children, friends, family, or any one important to you, we have always heard that relationships are a two way street, but what does that mean exactly, and how do we apply that concept in our lives? In this episode of Alison Answers: Mission Awake, Alison has a very in depth conversation with Chris Warnes, all about something that is plaguing our society - toxic relationships. 

Unfortunately the majority of us have experienced some sort of trauma in our lives, and without being aware of it, we can project our trauma onto the people in our lives that mean the most to us, causing harm to that relationship. In this episode, Alison and Chris are kicking off the start of something very exciting: “Relationship truths: A New Series for Success”, and they are teaming up to break the cycle of destructive relationship patterns. This episode is part 1 of this series, and you don’t want to miss the realness, vulnerability, and psychology-based explanations of what is happening in so many relationships, and how you can start to reverse them now. Tune in!

Key highlights:

• Introducing this new series about relationships with Chris Warnes
• People are operating from unwritten rules that they got during childhood and they're ruining relationships and don't even know it
• Self awareness and emotion intelligence is rarely executed these days
• The importance of understanding our triggers
• Disempowered males are plaguing our society
• What is a masculine male 
• What is a disempowered male
• Masculine vs. feminine energy
• The problem with men being raised to not talk about feelings, which leads to no emotional intelligence and problems in relationships
• How women want to be taken care of but sometimes have a hard time trusting
• If you rage, you need to learn to put yourself in check
• What yelling is saying about you and why you need to stop
• The goal of this series is to fix the “Connected in brokenness relationships”
• Chris’ experience with relationships with others that have unhealed trauma
• How everything is a two way street and no one should be raging
• We’re all responsible for our own emotions 
• The key to a great relationship: listen and be selfless and everything will fall into place
• Be willing to be wrong and be grateful when someone corrects you

Episode resources:

Book: Dominate Your Day: A high performer's guide to winning at life by Chris Warnes

Connect with Chris:

Website: chriswarnes.com

Instagram: @chriswarnes_og

YouTube: Chris Warnes

Podcast: The CW Clinic

Facebook: Christopher Warnes

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Lauren Johnson is an athlete-turned mental performance coach and speaker. She helps elite performers develop mental toughness so they can be their best, regardless of their circumstances. Prior to opening her own consulting practice, Lauren served as the Mental Conditioning Coordinator for the New York Yankees. Her practical, straight-forward advice and performance strategies provide real results that help individuals push through the many challenges life throws at us.

In today’s episode, Lauren and Alison have a very real and heartfelt conversation about how our life circumstances shape who we are, and how we can use those instances to grow and learn instead of letting them control us and giving in to the victim mentality. We can take charge of our lives through the decisions we make, regardless of what we have gone through. It may take a while to learn to shift our mindset, but we have the power to do so. Lauren and Alison also discuss the devastating impact that suicide has on those left behind.

Key highlights:

• Accepting reality even when it is very difficult
• Choosing something else instead of tearing yourself down
• Victim mentality vs. fighter mentality
• Lauren’s background and life challenges that led her to where she is
• The devastating impact that suicide has on those left behind.
• How personal tragedies can be used to your advantage. 
• How our definition of success can shift over time
• Vulnerability is power to an extent
• How to improve your life through the decisions you make. 
• Lauren’s experience working with the yankees
•  What it means to be "mentally tough" and adaptable in our thinking.

Connect with Lauren:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenjohnsonn/#experience

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Casey Shultis is an entrepreneur that started a movement aimed at answering the question we have all heard: "What would Jesus do?” Casey was asked the meaning of this question by a friend, and from that moment, he knew he had to find the answer. Through his journey to answering this question, he realized that he was made for greatness, and wanted to spread the message that each person can be used by God, and we all have a purpose. 

In today’s episode, Casey walks us through his journey that led him to creating his business, and the lessons that he learned along the way. In order to succeed, you have to be willing to fail, and see each failure as a stepping stone to achieving something truly remarkable. It’s time to make a shift in how we see problems, and view them as opportunities for growth, so that we can all reach our potential, and help each other along the way. 

Key highlights:

• Casey’s background story that led to his business
• How Casey realized God was pursuing his heart
• How failure leads us to success- you learn from your mistakes and obstacles
• Overcoming imposter syndrome
• The importance of finding your why
• Life is fleeting all we need to make moves
• Casey’s message that he wants to get across to everyone

Quote from the episode:

“The best ability in the Kingdom is availability.”

Connect with Casey:

Website: HeWouldLoveFirst.com

Instagram: @hewouldlovefirst | @caseyshultis14

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Zachary Babcock is the host of Underdog Empowerment podcast, and is known for his ability to keep it real. He welcomes top individuals in their field onto his podcast, and he also helps entrepreneurs launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts, taking all the stress and guesswork out of it. 

In this episode, Zach sits down for an authentic conversation about going from being the underdog to the alpha. After spending a total of 5 years in prison, his priorities and outlook on life were transformed. He discovered what the important things in life are, and how to make the most of everyday. Tune in as Zach and Alison share insight on how to make the most of your life right now!

Key highlights:

• How Zach went from serving 5 years in prison to building a 6 figure business.
• The stigma that came with being incarcerated and how it created determination to become a successful entrepreneur.
• Zach's journey of exploring his trauma through untraditional ways.
• The keys to success that Zach has tapped into through resolution of his trauma
• Zach’s plans for the future
• What Zach would do if he was forced to start over
• Why you shouldn’t care about impressing others
• How Zach gets over a bad day or mood

Quote from the episode:

“I always have to remind myself that life is amazing and I have too much to be grateful for to be in a bad mood.”

Episode resources:

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

The One thing by Gary Keller

Connect with Zachary:

Podcast: Underdog Empowerment

Website: https://www.zacharybabcock.com/

Instagram: @realzachbabcock

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Disclaimer:

We do not endorse all views that are expressed in each podcast.

We recommend checking with a professional before making any physical and mental health changes. 

We need to be mindful of the fact that each and every day that we are alive and well, is a gift that is not to be thrown away. We get to choose how we show up everyday, and be deliberate in how we interact with others, and the thoughts that we allow to dictate our day. If we continue to live in a state of being automated, and just reacting to what happens to us, we are not fully living this beautiful life we have been given. 

In this episode, Alison walks you through some very practical and meaningful changes to make to your daily life in order to take charge and set intentions for how you will choose to feel and see the world each day. These changes will rewire your brain for positivity instead of overwhelm and stress.

Key highlights:

• How to take charge of the way that you show up each day
• Getting out of the cycle of “feeling bad” and living an apologetic life
• How to set intentions for the day
• How to shut out doubt, overwhelm, and negativity
• Showing up from a state of peace
• Alison’s mission for the world

Quote from the episode:

“If we decide that this is a beautiful world, then we’re going to experience beautiful things.”

Episode resources:

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Tony Whatley is the author of the best-selling book Sidehustle Millionaire,  and he coaches people in his 365 Driven Society, teaching all about how to have a successful business, while leading a well rounded life, focusing on the 4 cornerstones of health, wealth, mindset, and relationships. Tony is a motivational speaker and is incredibly generous with his time and knowledge, and shares so much incredible insight in this episode.

Tony tells us his story of leaving the corporate world to run a very successful business, and how he now teaches others how to be in control of their own reality, invest in themselves, and create the life they have dreamed of. If you are feeling stuck, you don’t want to miss Tony’s life changing concepts and advice. Tune in!

Key highlights:

• What makes a good speaking event and how Tony’s events are different than others
• Time is no longer equal to money
• If you admire qualities within others, these qualities are within you, but it is your duty to learn how to extract it from yourself
• 3 of the most life changing concepts for people that are stuck
• Why being a business owner is more certain than a corporate job

Episode Resources:

• Book: Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Book: Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill

Connect with Alison:

Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling

Website: LagerCounseling.com

YouTube: Alison Answers

Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Connect with Tony:

Instagram: @365Driven

Website: 365driven.com