Alive Not Just Breathing

Are you someone who is triggered easily by other people's comments or do you find yourself either reacting or overthinking what people think when someone has said something about you?

When we take a step back and also realise that aside from the other person usually highlighting their own insecurities by attempting to trigger you, there must also be a reason it touched a nerve, that then allows us to do the work to inspect why that is and where it comes from.

When there is zero truth in what people say about us, it won't trigger us. But when any tiny part of us feels there is an element of truth in what's been said (or our mind tells us we do) that's when we tend to react badly.

This episode touches on this and other things to take into consideration about self esteem, how we perceive ourselves (and how that affects the energy we give off to others) and how to learn to stop allowing anyone to have that power over us.

One thing we humans don't always realise is that we don't own anything. Everything we're lucky enough to have or to get in our lives are simply borrowed.

Whilst this may be a lot to get your head around, it's actually a super comforting thing to understand and will help with a positive mindset of gratitude massively in the long run.

Following on from the last episode, it's also important to realise that grief can be a part of change too. Grief is not just about the death of people but also about the death of who we once were or the people we used to have in our lives that are no longer the same or no longer healthy for us.

A big part of positive and healthy change is still accepting that there will be grief for what you once knew, had or were. It's a difficult thing but knowing, accepting and understanding it can make the transition that bit smoother.

We all can fear change even though for some it's worse than others...but have you ever made positive changes only to still feel off or anxious? Why is it that exciting opportunities can still sometimes feel scary?

The mind will always fear what it can't yet see. Being unhappy and uncomfortable can still feel safe if it's what we know. But the truth is we'll never feel the magic in that place even if we do feel safe.

Learning to sit with these feelings and overcome them is the key. We are not our minds, despite how easy it is to think we are. There's so much more for us beyond what the mind can see and fears. At the end of the day, in order to reach our potential we will always just have to hold on tight through the initial steps being a bumpy ride.

There's no official episode this week due to the fact I very much work to my own schedule and in a flow state rather than forcing anything, plus I've been working through more things myself the past couple of weeks so am allowing myself time to do so.

As there has been times this podcast has gone dormant before I thought I'd post an update just to let people know there is still much more to come, and where I'm at...but we all need time to work on ourselves and take a break too.

We're all in this together and are always all doing the work together (well, those that choose to anyway) don't let the so called gurus that claim to have it all figured out convince you differently!

Today's episode ended up being more talk about healthy or unhealthy relationships and the issues which sometimes lead us to falling into the same behaviour patterns.

I touch on why we can easy find certain relationships or people 'passionate' or 'boring' and be attracted to drama and turbulence subconsciously, even though it's what we don't consciously want.

Other bits include the problem with being a 'nice guy' (or girl) and needy energy, the real damage you cause yourself when keep trying to fix people and accepting less than you want and deserve, the ridiculousness of playing games, 'Treat them mean to keep them keen' overly 'Alpha Male' energy and more...

Note to self for future content, don't do it on an empty stomach 😂

A quick extra add-on to the episodes on emotional issues in relationships and becoming unavailable due to trust issues...

A lot of times we talk about not being able to trust someone or being scared to, yet really it's more about learning to trust ourselves and not only recognise that we DID get warning signs about the people we shouldn't have trusted, but we also chose to ignore them.

When you trust yourself to pay attention to gut feelings and things that seem off, and actually act on them by investigating and exploring further rather than either ignoring the feelings or automatically assuming the worst without checking if you're right first...then you put yourself in the position to be empowered in yourself AND in relationships.

Don't cut yourself off through fear, learn to love yourself and that includes your intuition which we all have too. Learn to question and most of all learn to COMMUNICATE healthily with people in all areas. We miss so much through fear, anxiety, assumptions or ignorance to what we picked up on for a reason.

Following on from the chat about emotionally unavailable people, I thought back to past realisations about subconsciously looking to fix people and the validation/self worth boost that provides.

Do you look to 'fix' others or keep finding yourself attracting people that appear to need 'fixing' or are you someone that tends to look to be 'fixed' by someone else?

Neither are healthy. Eventually all roads lead to realising that we can only work on ourselves and understanding the difference between healthy support versus being totally reliant on someone else and giving away your power to them.

I also touch on how Empaths commonly find themselves in these situations and why, and how it's not always in relationships that we can see ourselves or be seen as the 'fixer' etc.

Today I'm talking about attracting emotionally unavailable people.

Do you attract people like this continually? Do you know or wonder why? Are you emotionally unavailable yourself? Do you know why that is? Do you intend to work on it?

I also discuss how and why this happens often for Empaths and touch briefly on things like the difference between healthy loneliness and neediness, staying authentic and going with the flow naturally in meeting people amongst other bits which will most likely become full episodes in future.

This episode is more of a discussion plus being open and vulnerable about difficult circumstances rather than advice. Feel free to contribute in the comments.

Where did the podcast go and why is it back?!

Today I'm touching on what happened and what things led to me shelving the old podcast before I ultimately decided to bring it back under the same name but with a slightly different vibe.

Parts discussed include neurodiversity, labels, avoiding the perfectionism trap and just doing things, the aim and style of the podcast and how it's evolved in the time away and more...

Bonus points for picking up on how many times I say "you know" 😂