- PUBLISHED 12:18 AM

I was thinking to myself how I need a two week vacation, but not just any vacation.

Specifically, I'd like to be on a private island...this way I'm free to be completely uninhibited lol. What do I mean? 

I mean I'd like to be lazy for once, because I never am. I'd like to be naked as often as possible - free to skinny dip and lay out on the beach. I'd like to drink wine whenever the mood hits me, and I'd like to blow somethin' in the air everyday. 

I'd like to read books uninterrupted, and actually have the time to finish one in a day or two. I'd like to write-write-write! To create art as freely as possible; to feel the deepest parts of myself, because I'd have the time and no distractions. I mean I don't mind the right kinda distractions though lol. I'd like to connect fully with nature; to fall asleep and wake up to it's earthly soundtracks. I'd like to make love on the beach 'cause I never have - while listening to the intensity of the crashing waves, and reveling at how it matches the intensity of my orgasms. 

To be free, connected, and one with Mother Earth. This-is-my-two-week-island-fantasy.

- PUBLISHED 10:53 PM

You ever deal with petty people? People that love to play mental mind games? People that love to play on others emotions JUST to get a rise out of them?

Of course you've dealt with people like this! It's almost a given. But what do you call these people?

Narcissistic? Imbalanced? Missin' a few screws? 

You probably label them a lil bit of everything, because all the labels can go hand-in-hand. But how do you DEAL with folks like this?

When you can't get through to a person any other way - do it through song/art! And even then they still may not get it, but at least you tried.

The melody is not mine but was inspired by a popular artist.

Peace & Blessings,

~Shanda

- PUBLISHED 5:03 PM

I received a download and needed to talk about it.  I'm getting pretty good with recognizing what they are and when it happens now.

In order to help you understand where I'm coming from with regards to how it feels to attain "new eyes", I tried painting a picture visually by using the example of a flower and even a beverage.  How there are those that see a flower, and there are those that "see" the flower. There are those that drink a beverage, and there are those that "taste" a beverage. There are those that hear a song, and there are those that "feel" the song. 

Our perceptions of things are so different and I think it's dope, that literally two people can see something two different ways. 

Downloads make you see things differently, it like breaks everything down into fragments; think about the dismantling of a puzzle so you can see each individual piece in detailed form, and then bringing the pieces all back together as a means of making sense of what was broken down. You'll never see it the old way again - only the new way, hence "new eyes".  Depth is pure dopeness and rare. 

I'm just taking it all in. I'm grateful. I hope you "feel" what I'm saying in this recording.

xoxoxo ~Shanda

- PUBLISHED 7:42 AM

Originally, I posted this on February 5, 2020, and after a couple of days I deleted it. 

Again, I started doubting myself and thinking that my self-expression was "to much." But then I thought to myself what is "to much" and for whom is it to much? Why do I even care? This is me.  This came straight from my head and heart in a matter of seconds, all from a beautiful melody that played while I was on hold with a business. 

Music and words have always came together very easily for me; with music I literally feel it pulsating through my body. A good example of a song that I feel through my body is, 'My Last Chance' by Marvin Gaye or "Before We Begin" by Broadcast (UPDATE 7/1/2021; NEW SONGS WHICH PULSATE THROUGH MY BODY PRINCE 'INSATIABLE' AND BARRY WHITE'S 'GIRL IT'S TRUE, YES I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU' & 'I'VE GOT SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE'). When I hear these particular songs something just takes over me and I feel tingles everywhere. I can't even help it lol. 

So when I hear melodies that "take over me", usually words follow shortly thereafter.  I wonder what I am LOL! I don't even know what to call myself. I guess all I can call myself is artist, because that one word sums up anything that has to do with creation and artistic expression. I'm enjoying myself though and becoming more empowered everyday. I'm grateful to have pulled my energy back from places that no longer serve me, because if I didn't how would I have known that all of this was hiding beneath the surface? 

I forgot it was there all this time. I'm so thankful I remembered. 

xoxoxo Shanda

So what do you do when you're on hold with a business, and the hold music/melody is pure dopeness?

Well you write of course! But not just any writing. It has to flow freely from ya dome - no restrictions. 

This is what happened to me. My head space filled with words so fast that I had no choice but to grab pen and paper to write.

I'm so glad I did. I absolutely love what poured out of me.  I hope you do too.

xoxoxo Shanda

- PUBLISHED 5:35 PM

I'm very well prepped on what a bully is, and how they can bully bluntly or passive-aggressively. 

Sometimes I wonder why folks even waste their time. I guess it makes them feel better about themselves. Whatever floats their boat I guess! I'm just glad that I don't allow it to get to me the way I use to, now it just rolls off like water on a ducks back. 

Why?

Well, because I've reawakened my soul, I know my worth and I respect myself. So the cheap shots that people decide to take end up ricocheting right back at them. And I still smile. You should keep smiling too, especially when you know you've done nothing to a person. Sometimes, folks are so caught up in themselves that they can't see past themselves, so illusions become a comfortable platform for them to reside. 

Bullying a bully IS necessary sometimes, but for the most part it doesn't deserve your time or energy. As my FOREVER FLOTUS always says, "When they go low, you go HIGH!"

xoxoxo ~Shanda

- PUBLISHED 4:55 PM

This episode came about yesterday, due to an issue that attempted to evoke fear in me - but I killed it quickly. 

Once I deaded it, I instantly realized how there's truly nothing to fear but fear itself. We can block ourselves by simply thinking the wrong things. We can even drive ourselves crazy (insane) thinking about things that may not even deserve our time and energy. 

If we can simply acknowledge the feelings that arise within us immediately, then we're better able to steer our emotions so that they don't cause  mental turbulence.  

FEAR can cause mental turbulence, especially if we dwell in it long enough for it to do real damage. FEAR is a concept, and one we don't have to subscribe to if we don't want too. That's how irrelevant it is; when we subscribe to it - then we give it relevance. I had to learn this the hard way.

xoxoxo ~Shanda

- PUBLISHED 4:02 PM

This episode piggy backs off of the "MENTAL TORPEDO" episode, where I talk about the mental whirling that can occur in the mind due to too many thoughts filtering in.

However, this particular episode speaks of how mental torpedo's can occur due to negative experiences derived from toxic situations. I tried to break it down the best way I knew how, or the best way in which it has happened to me. I've recognized that mental illness can come from consistent toxic thoughts, which can physically harm you. 

A lot of folks really don't have any idea how fragile the mind can be, and how one's thoughts can leave you spiraling out of control IF-YOU-DON'T-CONTROL-IT. 

This is why I speak so much on mastering your mental, because it's the ONLY way that you'll be able to move forward in life. I hope this can help someone.

xoxoxo ~Shanda

- PUBLISHED 3:30 PM

Have you ever felt a mental torpedo?

That's my new name for it anyway lol, because I've recently recognized how my brain can feel like a cyclone at times. Of course due to the many thoughts that travel through my mind. I stopped to acknowledge a whirling feeling in my head long enough to examine it, and realized it was due to too many thoughts filtering in. 

I decided to share this moment with you in case you've ever experienced a "mental torpedo", and didn't realize that's what it is. 

Sometimes, all it takes is for us to stop and process why our bodies are reacting in a way that's "off balance", in order to gain control over the situation.  When it happened to me it completely threw me off guard which is why I wanted to document it. Like I said, these recordings help me a lot and I can only hope it does the same for you.

xoxoxo ~Shanda

- PUBLISHED 4:43 AM

My thoughts in the wee hours of the morning as I couldn't sleep, so I woke up and documented how I was feeling.

You know, I think it's pretty cool that my kids will have these recordings to listen too when they're old enough to understand. If nothing else it'll probably answer a lot of questions they'll have in life. I'm grateful that I can leave these for them as a way of guiding them throughout life, even when I'm no longer on this earth. 

Truthfully, I don't even know if what I'm doing is considered a "podcast", because I'm use to a podcast having more than one person. 

But I decided to use this platform in a way that suited my style. I know I'll have guests in the near future and am already gearing up for that, but I do find solace in being able to express myself this way. If I didn't record it then it'd just be me talking/thinking to myself lol. I truly hope that it helps you as much as it helps me. 

xoxoxo ~Shanda