I believe in one god,

the Noodle Almighty,

maker of marinara and meatballs,

of all pasta visible and invisible,

born of the semolina before all ages,

fettuccine to fusilli, ravioli to rigatoni,

bucatini to capellini,

begotten, not overcooked, perfectly al dente,

topped with parmesan for our salvation,

he came down from heaven,

and by the spirit of a stripper,

touched his noodly appendage to her,

thereby creating a beer volcano,

in accordance with the scriptures.

He ascended into heaven,

and is seated at the right hand of the garlic knots.

He will come again in glory,

to judge the hungry and the full,

and the unlimited breadsticks will have no end.

I believe in the Divine Carbohydrate, the lord, the giver of life,

who proceeds from tomatoes and garlic,

who has spoken through the prophets.

I believe in one holy book of tortellini.

I look forward to the resurrection of the rotini,

and the life of the almighty acini de pepe to come.

Amen.

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