Elisa and Lily are joined by gender non-conforming performance artist, writer, educator, and entertainer Alok Vaid-Menon who explains why the creation of the ‘self-other’ as a binary is fundamentally flawed: “Individualism is wrong because it constantly sees ourselves as separate from one another rather than synchronous. So many of the things that we’ve been taught are oppositional or antagonistic are not.” They reveal why coming out, for them, was really about radical honesty and the strength of feelings, why we need each other in order to know ourselves, how “friendship is where we go to workshop our lives,” and why they refuse to define people by one act of violence just as much as they refuse to be defined by gender.

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