Can we let go of the need to win arguments without losing a part of who we are?

As Founder of Interfaith America Eboo Patel explains, there’s something romantic about a fist-in the-air approach, so much so that we often become caught up in the roles we play and the persona we adopt for ourselves. This can cause us to be perceived in ways we never intended; we can become misinterpreted, and even more disconnected to our true selves and intentions. How easy is it to ride our anger and our outrage, to chase the adrenaline of ego, the desire to be correct? Of course, it feels good to win, to “catch” your opponent, but why does it matter? Is succeeding in a debate truly more impactful than fueling a comprehensive discussion? When we move beyond the need to be right and let go of the desire to dominate, we can make room for something far more powerful: genuine curiosity. Letting go of the allure of competitive discourse - where there are winners and losers - allows us to create more meaningful conversations where both sides can learn and grow. This is The Dilemma with Irshad Manji, a series from Big Think created in partnership with Moral Courage College.

About Irshad Manji: Irshad Manji is an award-winning educator, author, and advocate for moral courage and diversity of thought. As the founder of Moral Courage College, she equips people to engage in honest conversations across lines of difference.

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