An Evolving Man Podcast

Marc Azoulay is the founder of Men’s Therapy Online, a community and healing hub for men who want to get back on their feet or take their lives to the next level. With the help of his team of licensed clinicians he provides ongoing men’s groups, individual counselling, and powerful wilderness retreats to his members. He has a background in psychoanalysis, neuroscience, and Buddhism.

Key topics Marc discusses:

• I would love for you to share how you got into the work you now do?
• What is the current situation regarding modern masculinity? What is going on?
• There have been concerns over the past few years that men are struggling mentally. Could you please speak to men's mental health? 
• What are some of the best personal growth tools that you have found for mental health?
• Why Therapy Fails Men (and How to Fix It)
• The Importance of Mentorship, Community & Ritual for Men
• How Masculinity Needs to Evolve
• The importance of grief work for men
• His experiences of Buddhism
• If you are woman listening to this, what can you do to support a man you know to start to heal?

For more information: https://menstherapy.online/

#mentalhealth #mensmentalhealth #whytherapyfailsmen

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 This Friday I am going back to my old boarding school for a day to remember the survivors of child sexual abuse at the school. 

Today I wanted to share some thoughts. What am I feeling? What will be happening?

Last Friday I went to Joy Schaverien's funeral in London. I share some of my experiences. 

And finally we have two screenings and Q&A's for the documentary, Boarding On Insanity. 

First is in Sowerby Bridge, West Yorkshire 27th June 6.30pm https://www.tickettailor.com/events/soulwellnesshub1/1712713 

And the second is in Edinburgh at the Cameo Cinema on 28th June at 2pm. 

Tickets to follow. 

Here is last week's podcast talking about sexual abuse in a New Zealand boarding school: https://youtu.be/vFuQANOr5HM 

And this week's podcast: https://youtu.be/HU5yHHyXYQU #boardingschoolsyndrome 

#boardingschool #joyschaverien #boardingoninsanity 

Take care, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 PLEASE NOTE: We talk about sexual abuse in this episode which some viewers may find triggering. 

Mark Staufer is an experienced ghostwriter and copywriter with a passion for helping clients tell their stories authentically and powerfully. He specializes in preserving personal legacies, organizing complex life stories and crafting engaging narratives. He is also the writer of The Lost Boys of Dilworth, TVNZ, a prime time docu-drama, which recounts Mark's own experiences at the notorious New Zealand boarding school during the 1970s. 

1. Could you please share some of your journey. What was the catalyst to writing The Lost Boys of Dilworth?
2. Areas to talk about:

• Mum saying, “If you really hate it, I promise you can come home.”
• Feeling terror at the school
• School: “most emotional experience I've ever had.”
• Dorm: constantly watched
• Cold/ A lot of crying – sobbing at night/ Dorm raid – beatings – becoming pretty fearful.
• Bullying ever present
• Like Lord of the Flies
• Punishments – cold baths in front of the teachers. - 16m
• Attempted suicide – no one's got your back – no one to go to 19m
• No where to escape from pain and violence
• It felt like a prison – island of hostility and violence - 20m
• French leave – running away – sat under a bridge
• 25m – spent a lot of time crying – sympathetic ears didn't exist
• Being sent to Coventry – no one is allowed to talk to you – a ghost – no one acknowledges you.
• Mrs Morgan – kind teacher - “If you couldn't control the children, there was something wrong with you.” “No kindness at the school.”
• Leave day – sense of dread
• Grooming – train tracks – praying together – coming out of tutors late at night
• 8 paedophiles at Dilworth – Mark sexually abused in the chapel – many boys raped – the doctor knew
• Disciplined for speaking up – telling lies
• School was a magnet for paedophiles
• 50m - Betrayal – Mum – no way out unless expelled
• 55m – Getting expelled age 14
• Friend committed suicide
• Consequences – drugs, alcohol, crime/ self-destruction/ never fixed relationship with mother

#lostboysofdilworth #dilworth #nzboardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome

To connect to him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-staufer-7624b115/ 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 #eq #emotionalintelligence #leadershipskills #leadershipdevelopment #vision 

Today I talk about 5 reasons why emotional intelligence is important in leadership. 

I talk about how you need to have emotional information in order to make good decsions. 

That in order to connect to your vision and that of the company then you have to be connected to your emotions. 

And that according to leadership experts, Kouzes and Posner, "love is the secret ingredient of leadership." 

I also talk about relationships and inspiring others. 

For this Friday's podcast with writer Mark Staufer talking about abuse in a New Zealand boarding school: https://youtu.be/vFuQANOr5HM 

And last Friday's podcast with Dr Robin Youngson talking about his experiences of the medical system and its similarities to boarding: https://youtu.be/GNQHj6rKUZg

 Take care, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Is the experience of being in a hospital like boarding school?

Retired medical doctor, Dr Robin Youngson, talks about the similarities between hospitals and boarding school.

These include:

➡️ Bullying

➡️ Stripped of your clothes and identity and given a uniform

➡️ Given dreadful food at fixed times

➡️ Arbitary rules and regulations

➡️ Loss of all privacy

➡️ Sleep in shared dormitories

➡️ Shared toilets

➡️ The person in charge is matron

A fascinating conversation looking at the old model and how Dr Youngson created a new hospital system in New Zealand with amazing results.

https://youtu.be/GNQHj6rKUZg

#medicalsystem #hospital #bullying #boardingschool #havening

Dr Robin Youngson, is a Certified Havening Practitioner and Trainer, and is a recently retired Anaesthetic Specialist with a long career in the public health service in the UK and New Zealand. He works full time as a trauma therapist and trainer helping people transform their lives and careers. He is also the author of the book, The Science of Miracles.

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What drew you to write your book, The Science of Miracle?
2. You recently wrote an article about being “a loving but emotionally incompetent man.” Could you please explain what you mean?
3. What were your boarding school experiences like?
4. Could you please speak about your experiences of being a medical doctor in the UK?
5. What is compassionate healthcare?
6. What made you leave the medical system? 
7. Could you please talk us through the work you do now and the Havening technique?
8. Other areas to talk about:

• Bullying
• Abandonment
• The healing journey from childhood trauma
• Dissociation
• Humiliation

For more information about Robin's work please visit: https://robinyoungson.com/

Or to buy his book: https://amzn.eu/d/4hg6xRl

The short film documentary about his work and the amazing results of Havening was just released yesterday. You can view it here:  https://vimeo.com/1084078465

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Some sad news... one of the leading voices in the Boarding School Syndrome world, Prof Joy Schaverien, died last week. 

She was such a caring, compassionate and wise woman. 

I found her to be so supportive of the work I and many others did including the documentary, Boarding On Insanity, my book and podcast. 

Today I talk about some of her teachings, and some of our meetings and interviews. 

Thank you for all that you brought to the world. 

Please find below an interview I did with her 4 years ago. 

https://youtu.be/dPn0TtWF99E 

And a link to her book Boarding School Syndrome: https://amzn.eu/d/0jy2534 #joyschaverien #boardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Last week in the local UK elections the Conservatives did really poorly losing hundreds of seats. 

In the words of former Tory minister, Rory Stewart, is the Tory party collapsing? 

Today I wanted to discuss this and see what links we could draw to boarding school. 

With such high numbers of the Tory party being educated in Public Schools could their education be impacting their leadership? 

Take care, Piers 

#torycollapse #tories #boardingschool #boardingoninsanity 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

David Farrell was born in Africa. His writing reflects his life experiences on three continents in his favourite genres of literary fiction, coming of age sagas, and non-fiction.

Having led for over half a century, he now possesses a deep fascination for human behaviours.

He lives in New Zealand, with his lifelong partner where he is writing his third and fourth novels.

1. I would love to hear some of your life story. What drew you to writing, Chameleon?
2. What was growing up in Africa like?
3. Could you please talk about your boarding school experiences in Rhodesia?
4. It sounds like Southern Africa was not very safe at that time. How was being in a boarding school?
5. How did you cope with boarding school?
6. In what ways do you feel British boarding schools are similar or not from Southern African ones?
7. Other areas to talk about:

• Colonialism
• Fagging P.61
• Bullying
• Punishment for breaking the rules P.76
• Soccer Vs Rugby at BS
• Food “odd hunk of indistinguishable gristle.” P.28/ No food for the end of the table P.38
• The first night - “horrors” P.31
• Emotions “I dashed away a tear and pulled myself together.” P.38
• “The English PS system envied the world over.” P49
• Themba “You shouldn't be away from home.” P67
• “Sense of patriotism and cameraderie with these boys who had done nothing but insult and abuse us.” P.83
• “I learnt to melt into the collective. Somehow it didn't seem so bad. My mind glossed over the hardships.” P.85
• Split between sibling who stays at home. “I'm a visitor in my home.” P.88
• Butterflies before going back to school. P.95
• Lifelong games of burying the self P.118
• “Those who control and restrict are themselves controlled and restricted.” P119
• Always moving - 6th town age 13. P.143
• Members of the opposite sex viewed as “curious sect with strange behaviours and ideals.” P160

For more information please visit: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davemfarrell/ 

Amazon: https://amzn.eu/d/beXcndK

#boardingschool #africanboardingschool #internationalboardingschool #zimbabwe

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

I was listening to Daniel Goleman, the author of #emotionalintelligence yesterday. 

In the video: https://youtu.be/-qmLoJ7-A80?si=YuawRPJC0iqlnwli he shares that IQ/ cognitive abilities might well be replaced by AI. 

But EQ or emotional intelligence is a human skill and cannot be replaced. 

Emotional intelligence will be the skill of the future. 

But as boarding schools only seem to teach IQ and have little regard for emotions will they become obsolete? 

Today I quote from ex-boarders like Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales, Bear Grylls, Tony Blair about how emotions were dealt with at school. 

I also share some insights from David Farrell about his experiences in an African boarding school: https://youtu.be/zGgfQ_5mUAw 

#eq #iq #boardingschoolsyndrome #ai 

Take care, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

#tck #thirdculturekids #girlsboardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome

1. What is a third culture kid (TCK)
2. I would love for you to share what drew you both to create this book about women's experiences boarding school and being Third Culture Kids?
3. Could you please speak to how many of the women missed their adopted homelands and how much this negatively impacted their impressions of the UK?
4. Could you please talk about the research for how children have a very sensory response to place which impacts how they respond to new geographies for the rest of their lives?
5. What was the sensory difference between their homes and boarding school?
6. In particular, we might like to chat about the following if that works for you:
7. Our stories – similarities and differences – both TCK – Nicky mercantile, Linda missionary. 
8. Writing a book about women’s experiences by women was important to us both. Less has been written about this and some of the books about women have had less traction in the media than those written by and about men. All but one of our participants identify as women. Being different is not safe at BS. Different ‘rules’ for men and women – binaries – impossible to ‘be’ otherwise.
9. Women in our book felt growing up in a BS was isolating and conformist – either just treated like a bloke in skirts (with no discussion of women’s bodily functions or needs, or, raised to be “young ladies” – Joy Schaverien’s comment on this is that men go to BS to learn to serve their country, while women are taught to serve men. 
10. Shame used as a tool of control – probably reinforced discomfort in our skin and shame about our bodies – constantly ‘on show’ and not it a good way. Eg headmaster who ‘supervised’ showers – female staff often not in positions of power and are also constrained/disadvantaged by patriarchal structures. 
11. Poisonous pedagogy – designed to break the child’s will – often early (first afternoon, first night, first meal) and public – so everyone saw the shame.

Nicky Moxey, an ex-boarder, originally spent 33 years as a project manager and Agile coach. She is retraining as an integrative counsellor and intends to work with boarding school survivors after she qualifies.

Linda Devereux is a third culture kid with more than 40 years of teaching experience in schools and universities. Linda is an Adjunct Research Fellow at Charles Sturt University, Australia, where she researches and publishes in the fields of transcultural childhoods, life narrative, boarding school, and the transition to university.

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To buy the book: https://amzn.eu/d/1yXj4rn

 Or :https://www.routledge.com/Exploring-Boarding-School-Challenges-for-Women-and-Third-Culture-Kids-Worlds-Away-from-Home/Moxey-Devereux/p/book/9781032876313

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/