An Evolving Man Podcast

I spoke with addiction specialist Paul Sunderland on Monday: https://youtu.be/a7tBz4adgGo 

In the conversation he spoke about addictions and why early boarders and adoptees are over represented in addiction treatment and recovery. 

He calls these traumas "disguised" in the way that they are seen as lucky. 

I also talk about how Paul refers to the equation: Stress - Without Attachment = Trauma.

I explore how boarding school breaks attachment and is essentially "Without Attachment".

Any questions please do let me know, Take care, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Should Prince George follow his father to Eton College — or his mother to Marlborough College? Or should he avoid boarding altogether?

In this episode, I explore the debate currently surrounding Prince William and Kate Middleton’s choice of school for their son, who has just turned 12. Drawing on stories from both Eton and Marlborough, as well as insights from neuroscience and decades of research into “boarding school syndrome,” I share why this decision carries far more weight than simply prestige or tradition.

In this video, I cover:

• Kate Middleton’s difficult start at Down House and later move to Marlborough
• Prince William’s experience at Eton, and Harry’s reflections in Spare
• Accounts of bullying, abuse, and emotional neglect from alumni of both schools
• Why children under 16 should not board, based on attachment science and trauma research
• Five neuroscience-backed reasons why boarding undermines leadership development
• Why day schools close to home may provide healthier foundations for Prince George

As the next generation of leaders emerges, emotional intelligence, relationships, and secure attachments matter more than privilege or tradition.

📚 Books & references mentioned include:

• Spare by Prince Harry
• Wounded Leaders by Nick Duffell
• Antonio Damasio’s research on decision-making and emotion
• Dibbe Onyema’s account of racial abuse at Eton

👉 What do you think — Eton, Marlborough, or neither? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What role can plant medicines play in deep trauma healing?

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Richard Grossman — acupuncturist, healer, and long-time student of Amazonian plant medicine traditions. We explore his decades of work at the intersection of Eastern medicine, shamanic healing, and trauma recovery.

Dr. Grossman shares his experiences studying with indigenous teachers in Peru, working with ayahuasca, and guiding people through profound emotional and spiritual transformation. We also explore the importance of preparation, integration, and respect when engaging with sacred plants.

In this conversation, we discuss:

• How Dr. Grossman moved from Western medical training to holistic healing
• The healing potential of ayahuasca and other plant medicines
• Why integration is just as important as the ceremony itself
• The relationship between trauma and spiritual awakening
• Lessons learned from decades of working with indigenous healers
• Navigating the risks, challenges, and misconceptions about plant medicine

This is a deep, nuanced look at how plant medicines can support emotional and spiritual growth — and why they’re not a shortcut, but a doorway into deeper work.

📖 Learn more about Dr. Grossman: https://heartfeather.com/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this episode, I reflect on the changing face of leadership. For generations, leaders operated in a command-and-control style—authoritarian, hierarchical, and often ruthless. But today, we’re seeing a shift toward emotionally and spiritually intelligent leadership, grounded in compassion, care, and trust.

I draw on insights from books and leaders including Admiral Mike Manazir, Simon Sinek, Richard Branson, John C. Maxwell, and The Leadership Challenge, to explore:

• Why authoritarian leadership is breaking down
• How compassion and psychological safety drive innovation and loyalty
• The difference between creating followers and multiplying leaders
• Why love may be the most powerful and lasting secret of effective leadership

Leadership is evolving—and this conversation is an invitation to rethink how we lead, how we inspire, and how we leave a legacy.

✨ Connect with me to learn more about The Compassionate Leaders Pathway, starting this September.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this deeply moving and vital episode of The Evolving Man Podcast, I sit down with Neil Harding — survivor, advocate, and whistleblower — to speak honestly and bravely about the widespread child sexual abuse that took place at Dilworth School in New Zealand.

Neil was a full-time boarder from the age of 9. For decades, he held onto the trauma he experienced there, until the day came when he could stay silent no longer.

What follows is a raw and powerful conversation about trauma, grooming, institutional betrayal, and the long path to healing. Neil shares his story not for sympathy, but to shine a light on a culture of secrecy and enablement — and to support other survivors who still feel voiceless.

We also explore how Neil reclaimed his voice, how he moved through shame, and the personal toll of standing up to institutions that failed him and many others.

This episode is for every survivor. And for every person ready to truly listen.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Neil’s early experiences at Dilworth School
• Grooming, silence, and the mechanisms of institutional abuse
• The long-term impacts of sexual trauma
• Shame, addiction, and the search for safety
• Speaking out in adulthood and confronting the system
• What survivors need — and rarely get — from society
• How community, therapy, and visibility support healing

🎧 AEM #136 is a call to truth, compassion, and action.

📢 If you’re a survivor, or you work with trauma, this is a must-listen.

🛑 Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of child sexual abuse and trauma.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What happens when your parents — not you — went to boarding school? How might their experiences shape your childhood, and the adult you become?

In this reflective episode, I explore the hidden ways parental boarding school experiences can ripple through generations. Drawing on personal stories, research, and dozens of podcast interviews, I share how traits like emotional distance, overwork, and repression can often be traced back to the complex trauma of boarding school.

We discuss:

• The symptoms of Boarding School Syndrome in parents
• How these patterns affect family relationships
• Why your parents might say they “loved it” — and what’s really underneath
• The power of asking open, curious questions about their school experience
• How understanding their story can soften your heart and open the door to healing

This episode invites you to look at your own family history with fresh eyes. You may discover that your parents’ struggles were never about you — they were the echoes of an education system built on separation, survival, and silence.

Resources mentioned:

• Boarding on Insanity documentary
• Podcast interviews with Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, and Nick Duffell
• Dr. Gabor Maté on developmental trauma

🎧 Listen in, reflect, and if you can, start the conversation.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this powerful episode of The Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Professor Dr. Paul Miller — consultant psychiatrist, EMDR trainer, and pioneer in the use of psychedelic-assisted therapy for trauma.

We explore Dr. Miller's remarkable journey through psychiatry, from the early days of surgical training to becoming a leading voice in trauma-informed care. He shares eye-opening insights into how trauma shapes the brain, why traditional psychiatric models often fall short, and how EMDR and psychedelics are offering new hope for people with PTSD, complex trauma, and even schizophrenia.

Dr. Miller also opens up about his own lived experience — of loss, betrayal, and healing — and why he believes authentic therapeutic relationships and community are at the heart of recovery.

In this episode, we cover:

• Dr. Miller’s path from surgery to psychiatry
• The limitations of purely biological models of mental illness
• EMDR and how it transforms trauma recovery
• Complex PTSD and the role of attachment, especially in early life
• His groundbreaking work with psychedelic medicines (MDMC, ketamine, psilocybin)
• The sacred art of listening and container-building in therapy
• Why trauma-informed care must replace the outdated “broken brain” narrative
• The impact of boarding schools, shame, and developmental trauma

Whether you’re a therapist, someone on your own healing journey, or simply trauma-curious, this episode will leave you informed, inspired, and grounded in hope.

🔗 Learn more about Dr. Paul Miller’s work: https://mirabilishealth.co.uk
 🔗 Watch short videos: Search “Morabilis Health Institute” on YouTube
 🔗 Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-paul-miller

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about his CEO. 

He mentioned that the CEO tried to micromanage everything. 

And that he couldn't stop. And that he was reaching burnout. 

He mentioned that he was South African. 

So I asked, "Did he go to boarding school?" 

He replied, "Yes, I am pretty sure he did." 

So I mentioned boarding school syndrome and that micromanaging everything, trying to control all the details, being hypervigilant, workoholism and consequently burnout were all part of the symptoms. 

And over the years working with public school educated leaders I have seen these traits over and over again. 

So today I delve into why boarding schools create burnout and what we can do to start to rewire our brains. 

Take care, Piers 

#boardingschoolsyndrome #leadershipdevelopment #burnout #meditation

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Last week I took a holiday and had time off work. 

I recorded this reflection about how stress is not usually the problem and is often a good thing. 

That is as long as we rest. 

When we rest daily. 

We stop. 

We turn off our phones and push notifications. 

We grow. 

Some reflections today about the equation Stress + Rest = Growth. 

Take care, Piers 

#stressmanagement #rest #growth #burnout #leadershipburnout 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Roy Biancalana is a nationally recognized relationship coach, bestselling author, and host of The Attracting Lasting Love Podcast. With over 15 years of experience, Roy helps singles identify and overcome the internal barriers that keep them from finding fulfilling, lasting relationships. His journey into coaching began from personal hardship – navigating heartbreak, divorce, and unsuccessful rebounds – ultimately leading him to seek out coaching for himself. This transformative experience ignited his passion to guide others through their own relationship challenges. 

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

Title: The “Curiosity Approach” to Finding a Life Partner

1. You have an interesting story as to how you got into relationship coaching. It ties directly into our topic today and I think it’s relevant for our listeners. Can you tell us about that?

2. In your new book, Quantum Questions, you present a new and fresh approach to finding a life partner. It’s what you call, “The Curiosity Approach”. What do you mean by that?

3. Your book talks about asking yourself “7 Radical Questions,” that lead to attracting a healthy, lasting, intimate relationship. Can you talk about a couple of them?

1. You have an free gift to offer our listeners. Can you tell us about it?
2. What does it mean to be in “relationship shape” and why is it essential for attracting love?

• What are the most common self-sabotaging patterns in relationships and how can people break free from them?
• How did your personal experiences with heartbreak shape the way you coach others today?
• What are the biggest internal blocks that prevent people from finding and sustaining healthy relationships?
• How do masculine and feminine energies influence attraction and relationship dynamics?
• What is the first step someone can take to shift their mindset and attract better relationships?
• How can someone heal from heartbreak and rebuild trust after being deeply hurt or betrayed?
• What is the biggest myth about online dating and how can people use it more effectively?
• Why do so many people fear being alone and how can embracing solitude lead to healthier relationships?
• What is one piece of advice you wish everyone knew before entering a relationship?

https://coachingwithroy.com/

For his books: https://amzn.eu/d/gJMhnBj

#relationships #foundationsofrelationship #boardingschoolsyndrome #relationshipproblems #emotionalintelligence

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/